TOTE BAG CONTEST
In honor of the Sweet Valley High rerelease, strangerface and I have an exciting announcement! Random House has sent us SWEET VALLEY TOTE BAGS. That's right. Those tote bags. And we didn't even have to give up our firstborn children. Check it:
Ooooh, pretty!
We have seventeen of these to give away, so we're announcing the first ever 1BRUCE1 TOTE BAG CONTEST.
A note, first: Em and I are not rich. It's weird, but running a Sweet Valley snark community isn't anywhere near as lucrative as you'd think. So, if you enter the contest and win a tote bag, please be willing to pay for shipping. And now, on to the good part.
The contest is simply this: Write your own reader of the month essay! You know the ones we mean: they're in the backs of the books, and they're hilarious. Em and I will score them and announce the winners.
Here's what we'll be looking for:
1. Embarrassing anecdote from real life (ranked on a 1-5 scale of humiliation)
2. Gushy love for Sweet Valley (ranked on a 1-5 scale of effusion)
3. Explain how Sweet Valley books have made you a better person (ranked 1-5 on a scale of depravity)
4. Tie in a moral (ranked 1-5 on the scale of bizarreness)
5. Make us laugh (ranked 1-5 depending on how hard)
6. Use specific Sweet Valley plot points and characters to support your thesis (ranked 1-5 on a scale of applicability. May award a bonus two points for especially well chosen or obscure examples)
And the bonus categories!
7. Bonus two points for a mention of Crazy Margo, Crazy Nora, or William White
8. Bonus two points if you take a stand on the Todd vs. Jeffrey vs. Tom debate
9. Bonus one point if you include an embarrassing preteen photo of yourself, just like the real reader of the month essays
For those of you keeping score at home, that adds up 30 points, plus 7 possible extra credit, for a grand total of 37 points.
If you decide to enter, run your essay through spell and grammar check, post it behind a cut, and tag it "totebag contest." Any community members can enter. Try to cap out at 500 words, though we won't flip out if it's a little longer. We'll read them all, score them on our rubric, and let you all know who won. The contest deadline is April 20.
Let the games begin!
Ooooh, pretty!
We have seventeen of these to give away, so we're announcing the first ever 1BRUCE1 TOTE BAG CONTEST.
A note, first: Em and I are not rich. It's weird, but running a Sweet Valley snark community isn't anywhere near as lucrative as you'd think. So, if you enter the contest and win a tote bag, please be willing to pay for shipping. And now, on to the good part.
The contest is simply this: Write your own reader of the month essay! You know the ones we mean: they're in the backs of the books, and they're hilarious. Em and I will score them and announce the winners.
Here's what we'll be looking for:
1. Embarrassing anecdote from real life (ranked on a 1-5 scale of humiliation)
2. Gushy love for Sweet Valley (ranked on a 1-5 scale of effusion)
3. Explain how Sweet Valley books have made you a better person (ranked 1-5 on a scale of depravity)
4. Tie in a moral (ranked 1-5 on the scale of bizarreness)
5. Make us laugh (ranked 1-5 depending on how hard)
6. Use specific Sweet Valley plot points and characters to support your thesis (ranked 1-5 on a scale of applicability. May award a bonus two points for especially well chosen or obscure examples)
And the bonus categories!
7. Bonus two points for a mention of Crazy Margo, Crazy Nora, or William White
8. Bonus two points if you take a stand on the Todd vs. Jeffrey vs. Tom debate
9. Bonus one point if you include an embarrassing preteen photo of yourself, just like the real reader of the month essays
For those of you keeping score at home, that adds up 30 points, plus 7 possible extra credit, for a grand total of 37 points.
If you decide to enter, run your essay through spell and grammar check, post it behind a cut, and tag it "totebag contest." Any community members can enter. Try to cap out at 500 words, though we won't flip out if it's a little longer. We'll read them all, score them on our rubric, and let you all know who won. The contest deadline is April 20.
Let the games begin!