me love you looonnng time
I can't believe I've kept this livejournal for so long. I think I write about this fact at least once a year, but it blows my mind.
There was a mom I once looked up to, like a year ago, and she sat me down and told me I was too inconsistent, "flighty." And I took it very seriously. I don't look up to her anymore because I see now that she was always looking down on me. There's something about me that seems to find my way to loving people that look down on me. I think its deeply rooted in the way my mom was so condescending to me growing up; shes not anymore, but I think thats why I get so attracted to people like that. anyway, she told me that, and for the past year, ive been killing myself trying to stay in bowie, trying to settle down. and you know what i say to that now?
Fuck that. I love life.
Unfortunately, I've committed myself one year of this job, and after that, I want to get as far away from this town as possible. Where do I want to go? I don't know. But I am done here, I'm done here right now, I should be gone already.
I mean, maybe not, but this is my way of rebelling. I think I am about to go into a serious rebellious phase. Again, lol. No no, but for real, I just need to give my brain a breeeaaaak.
Can't wait til finals are done. Love love.
There was a mom I once looked up to, like a year ago, and she sat me down and told me I was too inconsistent, "flighty." And I took it very seriously. I don't look up to her anymore because I see now that she was always looking down on me. There's something about me that seems to find my way to loving people that look down on me. I think its deeply rooted in the way my mom was so condescending to me growing up; shes not anymore, but I think thats why I get so attracted to people like that. anyway, she told me that, and for the past year, ive been killing myself trying to stay in bowie, trying to settle down. and you know what i say to that now?
Fuck that. I love life.
Unfortunately, I've committed myself one year of this job, and after that, I want to get as far away from this town as possible. Where do I want to go? I don't know. But I am done here, I'm done here right now, I should be gone already.
I mean, maybe not, but this is my way of rebelling. I think I am about to go into a serious rebellious phase. Again, lol. No no, but for real, I just need to give my brain a breeeaaaak.
Can't wait til finals are done. Love love.