Oh Jonesy, you came and you brought me a turkey, on my vacation away from worky
I'm so doomed to be alone forever :)
I met a really nice guy, in his 20's, tall with a good ass, good kisser, good taste in music, lead guitarist in one band, bassist in an other, Sid Vicious in a tribute band, drug and alcohol councilour, yet he still smokes and drinks like a mofo.
He sounds like my type of hypocrite, right?
WRONG!
I just wasn't interested.
Then I found out he's a multi-millionaire (I am not making this up)
So I decided that maybe he MIGHT be my type of hypocrite (Can I get a SHA-LOW?!)
I then found out that along with the above, he has the most massive penis in the world and knows the real meaning of foreplay (meaning that I didn't have to do anything.)
And yet the second I rolled off him I realised that I had just wasted a good 8.5 months of celibacy.
The second he asked me to give him a call I realised I wouldn't.
And the second he'd gotten out of my car, I realised I was thinking of other people.
I've clearly turned into a male.
So what I don't get is what I do now.
I had everything I look for in a guy right in front of me and I suddenly started looking for other things.
I guess I shouldn't even bother waiting to age to buy my ten million cats, a rocking chair and a shot-gun. I might as well accept my fate as the crazy old cat lady now.
...But then again, would it really be that bad to get a bit of his money out of it all?
*slaps self*
BAD, JONES!
Hey, at least I can sleep easy knowing that I won't sell out for moneys.
But then I spose the thought of dying alone kinda does wonders for insomnia.
Maybe I should just marry a vibrator and shutup.
I met a really nice guy, in his 20's, tall with a good ass, good kisser, good taste in music, lead guitarist in one band, bassist in an other, Sid Vicious in a tribute band, drug and alcohol councilour, yet he still smokes and drinks like a mofo.
He sounds like my type of hypocrite, right?
WRONG!
I just wasn't interested.
Then I found out he's a multi-millionaire (I am not making this up)
So I decided that maybe he MIGHT be my type of hypocrite (Can I get a SHA-LOW?!)
I then found out that along with the above, he has the most massive penis in the world and knows the real meaning of foreplay (meaning that I didn't have to do anything.)
And yet the second I rolled off him I realised that I had just wasted a good 8.5 months of celibacy.
The second he asked me to give him a call I realised I wouldn't.
And the second he'd gotten out of my car, I realised I was thinking of other people.
I've clearly turned into a male.
So what I don't get is what I do now.
I had everything I look for in a guy right in front of me and I suddenly started looking for other things.
I guess I shouldn't even bother waiting to age to buy my ten million cats, a rocking chair and a shot-gun. I might as well accept my fate as the crazy old cat lady now.
...But then again, would it really be that bad to get a bit of his money out of it all?
*slaps self*
BAD, JONES!
Hey, at least I can sleep easy knowing that I won't sell out for moneys.
But then I spose the thought of dying alone kinda does wonders for insomnia.
Maybe I should just marry a vibrator and shutup.