Things that Calm Me Down
I think I have found a song that I can listen to and associate being calm with.
Young The Giant - Firelight
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IesdveyZq_0
Last night, Tim and I got back from Bloomington around 11pm. We didn't actually start going to bed until a bit later, but I was having a panic attack and was trying to find a way to calm down. So, I remembered that song, played it, and then envisioned being in a place that would make me calm. As I listened to the song, I remember telling Tim that I envisioned myself on a solitary boat dock, looking out at a medium sized pond. It was nighttime - the moon reflecting in the water. There was a gentle breeze, rippling the water ever so slightly. Across the pond, I could see a campfire. I could not envision others at the campfire, I could just see it across the way.
While in Bloomington, I was having mood swings like you wouldn't believe. Within a span of 20 minutes I would go from being hyper and excited and bouncy and happy - to being depressed and crying, and feeling like my whole world was being crushed. I remember at one point of the trip, this would literally happen every like 10 to 20 minutes and lasted for like an hour or two just switching back and forth between emotions. I had never felt so unbalanced before in my life. Thankfully, because I am with my perfect other person, Tim was excellent at going with the flow and trying to bring me back to normalcy however he could when I would switch from one emotion to another.
I liked to call what happened as being "brain purging." I feel like it was all the built up stress, and all the built up frustration, and whatever else had been bothering me that I was bottling up - all of that just came out all at once. Or rather, in spurts. And I noticed it was never anger. It was either happiness or sadness. Nothing really in between.
I will add to this later, but since I am chatting with people right now, I know I'm not going to be able to finish this until I get back from seeing Age of Ultron with Tim at Flix Brewhouse that opened up recently. I have a lot more to say.
Young The Giant - Firelight
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IesdveyZq_0
Last night, Tim and I got back from Bloomington around 11pm. We didn't actually start going to bed until a bit later, but I was having a panic attack and was trying to find a way to calm down. So, I remembered that song, played it, and then envisioned being in a place that would make me calm. As I listened to the song, I remember telling Tim that I envisioned myself on a solitary boat dock, looking out at a medium sized pond. It was nighttime - the moon reflecting in the water. There was a gentle breeze, rippling the water ever so slightly. Across the pond, I could see a campfire. I could not envision others at the campfire, I could just see it across the way.
While in Bloomington, I was having mood swings like you wouldn't believe. Within a span of 20 minutes I would go from being hyper and excited and bouncy and happy - to being depressed and crying, and feeling like my whole world was being crushed. I remember at one point of the trip, this would literally happen every like 10 to 20 minutes and lasted for like an hour or two just switching back and forth between emotions. I had never felt so unbalanced before in my life. Thankfully, because I am with my perfect other person, Tim was excellent at going with the flow and trying to bring me back to normalcy however he could when I would switch from one emotion to another.
I liked to call what happened as being "brain purging." I feel like it was all the built up stress, and all the built up frustration, and whatever else had been bothering me that I was bottling up - all of that just came out all at once. Or rather, in spurts. And I noticed it was never anger. It was either happiness or sadness. Nothing really in between.
I will add to this later, but since I am chatting with people right now, I know I'm not going to be able to finish this until I get back from seeing Age of Ultron with Tim at Flix Brewhouse that opened up recently. I have a lot more to say.