I don't know anymore
Something certainly has been going on through my head that really is starting to effect everyone around me. I don't know what's wrong with me. Lately i've been so tired and just careless of everything. I have a midterm in chemistry on tuesday but i haven't really been studying at all. My body is feeling the anxiety from it all but my mind just doesn't care anymore. I've been moody and lately i just want to be left alone. I find myself comparing myself to everyone around me and wondering why i'm so different. I hate these times. I hate it when i treat people like trash at a time when no one needs that kind of shit from me. Lately i've just been saying "I don't want to have this conversation or just leave me alone". Sometimes i wonder what would happen if i just sat back and watched the world proceed without me interacting with it. What would change? I'd really like that. It's almost like a time to reflect. I just want some thoughts in my head to go away. The feelings of neglect towards my schoolwork and some of my friends bothers me but not to an extent where my mind tells me that I need to change it. I'm almost content with it which i know isn't good. I'm a psycho u're probably thinking but honestly, i don't think i'm the only one who feels this way. However, noone seems to know how to deal with it. I've gotten to point where i've said enough is enough and whether i do good or not in something really doesn't matter because it's not worth my time or energy anymore. You can only do so much and u know what i'm happy with that. I need to accept where my boundaries and limits are because if i don't, i'll just wasting my energy on a goal that isn't realistic.I need someone to talk to. Someone who will listen and not say anything back. Bryant has been helping with that a whole lot. He just stands there and lets me talk. I really like that especially since now it seems everyone is just so caught up in their own lives. It's hard now... I wonder what life outside of this will be like.