just ugly
Well today started out really nice and then ended horribly. Honor Society was nice until afterwards when my mom proceeded not to congratulate me but rather was like "wow u have sooo many smart seniors up there. gosh that one person got sooo many awards blah blah blah" No offense but honestly I feel like shit right now. I don't feel smart enough and all that other good stuff. It's like "thanks mom sorry i'm not good enough for you. if only i could be like rachel, maybe u would love me more" i don't get it. What do those awards mean anywaz? it's just paper... right...? In addition we fought the entire way home when I was suppose to be feeling proud of myself. yea... didn't happen at all. she said that I need to be like everyone else because well being me just isn't enough for an overly strict asian mother who expects so much of her kids that she doesn't realize that in the process of doing so, she's destroying them. wow thanks. isn't it a great world out there?
IB certificate of merit... wow does that mean anything? Everyone keeps telling me that it doesn't mean shit. Thanks to those people who keep encouraging people like me that even if you try, you'll never be good enough or better than those other kids because well they sure do try harder than you do. No offense but I totally congratulate and support the IB diploma kids because I know u guys have definitely worked ur ass off every single year in high school which is wonderful but honestly for a person who is i guess "a wanna be" it feels really shitty to know that I couldn't be what you became.
I have mixed emotions right now. I don't know whether to be sad, mad or just careless. Is it wrong for me to feel like someone needs to show me that I did accomplish something. I want to feel proud of what i've done but no one else seems to care. What's the point if no one notices but you? Not saying I'm getting this for attention because honestly i could care less but for once, I'd like someone to just tell me "U know i'm proud of you danielle. You may not be the best but u sure do try hard" I don't know. Maybe no one really cares but me.
IB certificate of merit... wow does that mean anything? Everyone keeps telling me that it doesn't mean shit. Thanks to those people who keep encouraging people like me that even if you try, you'll never be good enough or better than those other kids because well they sure do try harder than you do. No offense but I totally congratulate and support the IB diploma kids because I know u guys have definitely worked ur ass off every single year in high school which is wonderful but honestly for a person who is i guess "a wanna be" it feels really shitty to know that I couldn't be what you became.
I have mixed emotions right now. I don't know whether to be sad, mad or just careless. Is it wrong for me to feel like someone needs to show me that I did accomplish something. I want to feel proud of what i've done but no one else seems to care. What's the point if no one notices but you? Not saying I'm getting this for attention because honestly i could care less but for once, I'd like someone to just tell me "U know i'm proud of you danielle. You may not be the best but u sure do try hard" I don't know. Maybe no one really cares but me.