the first love and last love is self love

[1_straw_please]

i got that from a fortune cookie i found yestarday...
i honestly feel like im missing something...oh yes a boy half...
i dont care...
i kinda really miss having a relationship though.
lately ive been falling asleep the same way...hugging my pillow and listening to incubus.
figures...
i dont miss joey though..
i miss having someone holding me and me fall asleep in his arms.or knowing that there is someone who loves me when i need them.and i hate crushes!!
cause its soooo fucking pathetic! seriously...i mean i feel so stupid admiring all these guys i have no friggin light chance with and getting off at a glance.cause is soo stupid!!!
and u get lost in the little fantasy that something might happen...but nothing usally doesnt unless u take action...and me being this shy little girl i honestly dont think i can. i wish i can move on and find someone but its not all that simple...
ive been single for awhile now...i hate it...
i miss loving people...im a lover and i must get out these emotions.
im listening to bright eyes in hope that maybe my spirts might lift...but then i remember its bright eyes...
but its good to know there is a boy out there sadder than u. still...i really need to be hugged...
a really hug...from a boy...
and not jarod...cause...hes jarod...he always hugs me...
kate gave me the best hug today, it rocked out loud. but kate is a sweet girl who is a short as me n.n but still i need a boy...
im sooooo pathetic...
im lame.
damn me...
i have no idea what im gonna do.
ill stop my whining