and crash
i need balance. to void all this time ive been dying through since i lost it. before what i would like to think was me is too far gone. i did my time. cashed in that reality check for a fever, chest pain and way to many i owe yous. sorry. its all non-stop. im so exhausted that ive been confusing it with effort. im tired of conditioning negative return. i need a reason not to. and then i will try harder. but really its all just right now.