how much worse could it get?
so, i swear everything is insane....anyways, back to my subject, i broke up with anthony on tuesday, and yesterday i was visiting him, just to talk and hang out, he kept begging me to take him back after he cheated on me, and i kept saying no...so he got upset, walked into the kitchen, grabbed something and walked upstairs, as he walked upstairs, i heard a flick, and i knew it was a pocketknife. I went after him, but he shut his door and wouldn't come out. I ran downstairsand called our friend Dane to please help me. Right after i got off the phone with dane, i went back upsrairs and knocked on the door asking him to please come out, and i was sory. I went back down stairs, and Dane showed up, right then Anthony walked out of his bedroom and went into the bathroom, dane went up there, and he walked into the bathroom, and then immediatly turned back around, ran downstairs to where i was at, called 911 and told them he had cut his wrists. Anthony came back down stairs and went out back, and im not sure what he was doing, but after awhile he wanted me to come outside and talk to him, i walked up to him, looked at his wrist, and went back inside....The police and ambulance showed up right then, dane and i told them what i just said. They took him in the ambulance, and just after that anthony's dad came home, he called anthony's mom, and she wanted to speak to me..in a nutshell she said she didn't hate me, she wasn't mad, but i wasn't to talk to him, and he wasn't to talk to me. Ok, i understand that, then she proceeded to say she was aggravated that she had to go to the hosptiol then. excuse me?? sorry that your sons depression and attempted suicide is an inconvenience to you!! So Dane and i went back to his house, and hung out there until my grandma came to get me. I was so freaked out, and it's all my fault. Everyone says it isn't, but holy shit!!! the whole he reason he was mad was because of me, i mean im sorry i don't want to go out with a cheater, and im sorry i didn't love him, but his life shouldn't depend on me...but its still my fault, everything is. anyways, today i wake up, i do a few things around the house, and i start to feel alittle better, then he calls. i didn't answer the phone, my grandpa did..it was anthony, so i hung up on him, he calls back, we have a few words, i hang up again, he calls back, this goes on like 5 times. I kept telling him, that his mom said we weren't allowed to talk...obviously she never told him that, but he still didn't get it, finally i said if he called back again, i wouldn't answer the phone at all, i hung up on him, and he didn't call back. But now im so damn upset, i feel sick, my head hurts, but all i think about is did i change the person he would have become, did i prevent him from another suicide attemp later. what did i do to him? i dunno, i just wonder how much worse could it get, i don't even try to think of it....