Chloe turns 30
0. Nurse 1: It's a boy!
Nurse 2: Good.
Nurse 2: Put him on the milk trolly.
Nurse 2: The country needs more boys.
1. Boy (thinking): Do cats eat bats?
Boy (thinking): Do wolves sing songs?
Boy (thinking): Do I drink blood?
2. Dog: What a nice boy.
Cat: I only wish he kept off my tail.
Dog: My tail, too.
Dog: Wonder what he will become when he grows up.
Cat: A murderer.
3. Boy (thinking): Do cats eat bats?
Boy (thinking): Do I eat cats?
4. Boy (thinking): Do I eat anything, actually?
5. Boy (thinking): I wouldn't say so.
6. Boy (thinking): But I wish I could.
7. Teacher: Spell your name.
Boy: I'm sorry sir.
Boy: I can't.
Boy: I don't actually remember it.
8. Dog: He's grown.
Cat: He's grown up.
Cat: It's us who's grown old.
Boy: Yahoo!
Cat: My tail!!
9. Children: Vampire! Vampire!
Boy (thinking): It's actually "vampyr".
10. Dentist: Well well well, what's our problem here?
Boy: My teeth.
Boy: They're too sharp.
Dentist: I could well correct that but I cannot do that for free.
Boy: I got a tuppence for my birthday. Here.
11. Children: Vampire! Vampire!
Boy (thinking): I wish I were!
12. Gardener: These are red roses.
Boy: Red.
Gardener: Yes. Like 'em?
Boy: You don't think I'm a vampire do you?
13. Gardener: Hey! Come out!
Boy: Um. I can't.
Gardener: You can't be down there in the well... can you?
Boy: I can't swim!
Boy: Can't climb either...
14. Children: Vampire! Vampire!
Children: Coward!
Boy (thinking): None of them is a vampire.
Boy (thinking): So it's only fair they can throw stones.
15. Cat 1: What is that redhead who helps the gardener?
Cat 2: A vampire, I hear.
Cat 1: What is "a vampire"?
Cat 2: ...A bat?
16. Girl: Happy birthday!
Girl: I have something for you.
Girl: Hey! Don't run away!
Girl: Wait!~
17. Girl: This year you come of age.
Boy: Sort of.
Boy: Not in this country.
18. Boy (thinking): My future career.
Flashback: Children crying "Vampire! Vampire!"
Boy (thinking): V is for Vendetta.
19. Saleswoman: What would you like, young man?
Saleswoman: A rose perhaps?
Boy: (blushing)
Boy: Um...
Boy: Yes, my lovely lady.
Boy: Something that would match your beauty.
Saleswoman: Try this one.
Saleswoman: Looks good with your freckles.
20. Boy (thinking): The True Beauty of Britain.
Boy (thinking): Blonde.
Boy (thinking): And lifeless.
21. Prostitute: You are so sweet.
Prostitute: You smell like a rose.
Prostitute: Ow!
Prostitute: Don't bite!
22. Cat 1: Where has our lovely gardener gone?
Cat 2: Look!
Cat 2: It's him!
Cat 2: I smell him!
Cat 1: It's the rosebush, you blind old bat.
23. Cedric: Vampire! Vampire!
24. Boy (thinking): What good to me are roses...
Boy (thinking): By any other name.
25. Boy: In the name of our beloved...
Boy: ...me.
26. Cat 1: Where has our lovely gardener gone?
Cat 2: Look!
Cat 2: It's him!
Cat 2: I smell him!
Cat 1: And I see someone totally different.
27. Michel: Tea-time!!!
Michel: Chloe, come out!
Michel: Only bats sleep at day!
Michel: Come out, you are not a bat!
28. Boy (thinking): Why do I have to go through all this rubbish, why?
Boy (thinking): Couldn't they take it away if only for my birthday?!
29. Aya: Chloe.
Boy: Oh my dearest leader, what is it that troubles you so much that you decided to address me?
Aya: ...
Aya: Nevermind.
Boy (thinking): Thought so.
Nurse 2: Good.
Nurse 2: Put him on the milk trolly.
Nurse 2: The country needs more boys.
1. Boy (thinking): Do cats eat bats?
Boy (thinking): Do wolves sing songs?
Boy (thinking): Do I drink blood?
2. Dog: What a nice boy.
Cat: I only wish he kept off my tail.
Dog: My tail, too.
Dog: Wonder what he will become when he grows up.
Cat: A murderer.
3. Boy (thinking): Do cats eat bats?
Boy (thinking): Do I eat cats?
4. Boy (thinking): Do I eat anything, actually?
5. Boy (thinking): I wouldn't say so.
6. Boy (thinking): But I wish I could.
7. Teacher: Spell your name.
Boy: I'm sorry sir.
Boy: I can't.
Boy: I don't actually remember it.
8. Dog: He's grown.
Cat: He's grown up.
Cat: It's us who's grown old.
Boy: Yahoo!
Cat: My tail!!
9. Children: Vampire! Vampire!
Boy (thinking): It's actually "vampyr".
10. Dentist: Well well well, what's our problem here?
Boy: My teeth.
Boy: They're too sharp.
Dentist: I could well correct that but I cannot do that for free.
Boy: I got a tuppence for my birthday. Here.
11. Children: Vampire! Vampire!
Boy (thinking): I wish I were!
12. Gardener: These are red roses.
Boy: Red.
Gardener: Yes. Like 'em?
Boy: You don't think I'm a vampire do you?
13. Gardener: Hey! Come out!
Boy: Um. I can't.
Gardener: You can't be down there in the well... can you?
Boy: I can't swim!
Boy: Can't climb either...
14. Children: Vampire! Vampire!
Children: Coward!
Boy (thinking): None of them is a vampire.
Boy (thinking): So it's only fair they can throw stones.
15. Cat 1: What is that redhead who helps the gardener?
Cat 2: A vampire, I hear.
Cat 1: What is "a vampire"?
Cat 2: ...A bat?
16. Girl: Happy birthday!
Girl: I have something for you.
Girl: Hey! Don't run away!
Girl: Wait!~
17. Girl: This year you come of age.
Boy: Sort of.
Boy: Not in this country.
18. Boy (thinking): My future career.
Flashback: Children crying "Vampire! Vampire!"
Boy (thinking): V is for Vendetta.
19. Saleswoman: What would you like, young man?
Saleswoman: A rose perhaps?
Boy: (blushing)
Boy: Um...
Boy: Yes, my lovely lady.
Boy: Something that would match your beauty.
Saleswoman: Try this one.
Saleswoman: Looks good with your freckles.
20. Boy (thinking): The True Beauty of Britain.
Boy (thinking): Blonde.
Boy (thinking): And lifeless.
21. Prostitute: You are so sweet.
Prostitute: You smell like a rose.
Prostitute: Ow!
Prostitute: Don't bite!
22. Cat 1: Where has our lovely gardener gone?
Cat 2: Look!
Cat 2: It's him!
Cat 2: I smell him!
Cat 1: It's the rosebush, you blind old bat.
23. Cedric: Vampire! Vampire!
24. Boy (thinking): What good to me are roses...
Boy (thinking): By any other name.
25. Boy: In the name of our beloved...
Boy: ...me.
26. Cat 1: Where has our lovely gardener gone?
Cat 2: Look!
Cat 2: It's him!
Cat 2: I smell him!
Cat 1: And I see someone totally different.
27. Michel: Tea-time!!!
Michel: Chloe, come out!
Michel: Only bats sleep at day!
Michel: Come out, you are not a bat!
28. Boy (thinking): Why do I have to go through all this rubbish, why?
Boy (thinking): Couldn't they take it away if only for my birthday?!
29. Aya: Chloe.
Boy: Oh my dearest leader, what is it that troubles you so much that you decided to address me?
Aya: ...
Aya: Nevermind.
Boy (thinking): Thought so.