This is bitchy, but I promise I'll put cool stuff in there, too
Do you ever just feel incredibly guilty about everything even though you know it's not your fault? Like no matter what, you caused all of these bad things to happen, and you never wanted any of it to happen in the first place, but they did anyway and now you have to live with it? I hate that feeling. Either that or you can't figure out what to do. There's good things to do if you go one way, but there are good things if you go another. Argh, why does my mind choose to overanalyze everything? I can't stand it. Sometimes I wish my mind would just take a break. Just let me read "The Great Gatsby" in peace without feeling guilty about neglecting my psychology homework or practicing to play with DiBlassio's band next week. But lately even some of my dreams make me feel guilty or indecisive. I can't even sleep stuff off! I'll probably be up for forever tonight, just sitting online or watching a movie or reading or something. Who knows. I just hate this feeling. It's so hard to shake off, too. That's the worst part, I think. It just doesn't seem to want to go away. I feel badly because I say the wrong thing or I do the wrong thing. Or I feel badly for not doing enough for people. Or I put things off until way too late. All of this is so ridiculous, and it's stupid to dwell on, but I'm having a wee bit of a hard time not thinking about it right now.
Ok, on to good things. Combo is in the Flint Jazz Festival!! That's totally cool. I hope that goes well. Actually, I'm wondering what we'll end up playing. We're playing the night (or day, I don't know) the headliner is a Latin jazz pianist (but I can't remember his name right now). That'll be really great. I'm pumped.
So since I didn't get to play with DiBlassio's band this week, I'm sitting in next week. Who's going with me? Andy, you'd better go with me. You promised your girl that you'd salsa with her, and I'm holding you to that! Besides, I'm going to need people to calm me down.
But if I'm nervous, it's my own fault because it means I haven't practiced enough. My stupid mind. Darn it, there I go again. Just someone make me stop thinking about this crap, I could use a good distraction.
Ok, on to good things. Combo is in the Flint Jazz Festival!! That's totally cool. I hope that goes well. Actually, I'm wondering what we'll end up playing. We're playing the night (or day, I don't know) the headliner is a Latin jazz pianist (but I can't remember his name right now). That'll be really great. I'm pumped.
So since I didn't get to play with DiBlassio's band this week, I'm sitting in next week. Who's going with me? Andy, you'd better go with me. You promised your girl that you'd salsa with her, and I'm holding you to that! Besides, I'm going to need people to calm me down.
But if I'm nervous, it's my own fault because it means I haven't practiced enough. My stupid mind. Darn it, there I go again. Just someone make me stop thinking about this crap, I could use a good distraction.