this isn't verbose so don't expect anything out of these words, k?
I'm not really sure of where I am right now, as far as...the ever looming "life" goes. I don't think I've ever really been sure, but I think I've been able to trick myself into having a false sense of that in the past. I'm not really sure if anyone ever knows where they are in life, or if it's even something you can gage, or something you can discern from regular and irregular day to day events that shape who we are. Sometimes it seems events that seem so important in your life at one point in time, a few moments later, are petty and pointless. Maybe that's just how things go. The word "maybe" is really starting to make me feel sick. All of this...not knowing is starting to make me feel really sick. But shit, you'll never know anything about anything (was that Socrates or Aristotle or am I completely off as far as that goes?...anyway...)
I'll go to bed saying I'm sick and tired of this shit, and that I've given up completely on you-know-what
but then a dream or a random memory will sneak onto the main view screen and I'll be plummeted with all this bullshit. Bullshit is the wrong word. Regret would be the wrong word too. I guess just being overwhelmed with a helpless rage, rage at what you'll never be able to control.
No, not even that.
I'm trying to find a level place right now, and it's really hard.
I'll go to bed saying I'm sick and tired of this shit, and that I've given up completely on you-know-what
but then a dream or a random memory will sneak onto the main view screen and I'll be plummeted with all this bullshit. Bullshit is the wrong word. Regret would be the wrong word too. I guess just being overwhelmed with a helpless rage, rage at what you'll never be able to control.
No, not even that.
I'm trying to find a level place right now, and it's really hard.