random shit
my life has gotten pretty dull since the summer ended. well actually it
was still fun after the summer hanging out with new people again
& what not. but now everything is dull. i hate it all so much. i
cant ever fall asleep at night until like 4, and then i wake up at 2,
and i cant stand it, my whole day is gone! i babysit, come home, shower
and do shit around the house. it soo annoying. weekends arent too
exciting either, they pretty much suck ass. i need to drink, i miss the
summer, drinking every weekend... now that was so much fun. i need to
meet new people again, and start partying. i miss those days. i also
miss my friends from school, its really sad to think i was friends with
them for so long, and now we hardly even talk, let along havent seen
each other in months. thats another thing thats really depressing right
now, just missing everyone in general. i even miss the guys from the
summer, they were fun, i know i wasnt actually friends with them.. but
i think i kinda miss them, or maybe i just miss the partying... well
now im not sure. but i know for sure that i miss someone from the
summer, which is weird cuz i dont actually know him that well, i
know thats hes a great person, and that hes funny, and hes georgeous,
aww i really do miss that kid. another thing that i dont understand in
my life right now is why dont have anyone.. im so fuckin sick of it. i
mean i think its about damn time. honestly whats so wrong with me? i
know people that have someone and they dont even deserve them, its just
wrong. 3 guys in less than a week have said that it is surprising
that im still single, and that isnt the only time people have said
that. and if its so surprising then why??? and its not like its my
fault... as if i dont give people chances, and that im stuck on
one guy.. cuz i do and im not. im just so fuckin sick of it all. why?
& why me?? once again, i just feel like i wanna leave berkley for a
little bit, and just get away from everything and everyone, even though
there isnt much to get away from.. but still. im so looking forward to
january... i really cant wait, i think i get more excited everyday,
everyone is getting ready for the new arrival. it all seems so much
more real...with painting the room, and soon getting everything ready
in it. and soon is the babyshower, and everything will fly by. i really
cant wait to see her, and to see what she looks like. thats about it
for now. love ya