goodbyes
One of the hardest things in life is saying goodbye. It's coming to terms with and admitting out loud that you are leaving the things that have made your life in the past two months/five months/four years/sixteen years.. Unlike most other things which "come with practice", farewells never get any easier because each time is different. A different group of people, a different way of life, a different you. At this moment, I can't imagine not being able to scoot over to block 10, knock on Rachel's door and sit on her bed to have a chat. I can't imagine not being a ten minute walk away from 2 Arnesby Road, where I will find good company, a listening ear and a hot cup of tea. I can't imagine not traipsing up to the third floor of block 3, feeling like an elephant because the stairs make such a racket, and meeting Janna for breakfast/lunch/dinner/laundry excursions. But in a while I won't have to imagine any of that. I'll be back in my room in Brisbane, hammering away on my laptop with a steaming pot of green tea and dark chocolate right next to me, whinging about how hot it is. I'll see movies with Alex regularly, hike up Mt Coot-tha with Kat, and eat pizza every week with the posse. That's the scariest part about saying goodbye - how easy it is to forget. I always run through the I-can't-imagine-nots in my head before leaving, and always think that my life will never be the same again, that I'll be consumed with missing what I had before. But I always move on, slip back into my routine, and so does everyone else. Suddenly what I spent a long time doing will seem like just a blip in my life, and suddenly the people I came to rely on will be distant and far away. And their lives will move on, and my life will move on, and it almost seems as if it all never happened. That's the scariest part.
But if there's one thing I've learned about having had to say goodbye so many times, it's that we don't really forget. Everything we've experienced shapes us and influences our path, regardless of how much. Everyone we've met teaches us something, even if they only demonstrate to us what we never ever want to be. And everywhere we go rubs off on us and opens our eyes to something different, and gives us a bit more of a glimpse of the world outside our own.
My experience in Nottingham has been nothing but positive. I have no regrets whatsoever from my time here, except maybe that I don't have more of it. I don't think I could delve deep enough inside myself to figure out how I've changed, but suffice to say the Danielle leaving now is not the Danielle who left the airport in Brisbane on 4 July 2008. I know I would've been fine if I'd chosen to stay in Brisbane; life would've chugged along as it always does, but I would have missed out on all of this.
So here's to the people who have made my time here, to everybody who's given up precious time to spend it with me. Here's to nights curled up on the bed watching DVDs, to secrets spilling out uncontrollably, to talking about boys and talking about girls, to lunches and dinners and coffees and teas, to fire alarms and waking up to loud music at 3 am, to pilates and boring EU Law lectures, to God and to love and to life.
Goodbyes are never easy, but they make you realise that you've had so much that is precious and that is worth holding dear.
But if there's one thing I've learned about having had to say goodbye so many times, it's that we don't really forget. Everything we've experienced shapes us and influences our path, regardless of how much. Everyone we've met teaches us something, even if they only demonstrate to us what we never ever want to be. And everywhere we go rubs off on us and opens our eyes to something different, and gives us a bit more of a glimpse of the world outside our own.
My experience in Nottingham has been nothing but positive. I have no regrets whatsoever from my time here, except maybe that I don't have more of it. I don't think I could delve deep enough inside myself to figure out how I've changed, but suffice to say the Danielle leaving now is not the Danielle who left the airport in Brisbane on 4 July 2008. I know I would've been fine if I'd chosen to stay in Brisbane; life would've chugged along as it always does, but I would have missed out on all of this.
So here's to the people who have made my time here, to everybody who's given up precious time to spend it with me. Here's to nights curled up on the bed watching DVDs, to secrets spilling out uncontrollably, to talking about boys and talking about girls, to lunches and dinners and coffees and teas, to fire alarms and waking up to loud music at 3 am, to pilates and boring EU Law lectures, to God and to love and to life.
Goodbyes are never easy, but they make you realise that you've had so much that is precious and that is worth holding dear.