Oct 11, 2008 02:08
the further in life you excell the more you look back on the things you have done, and the same thought that comes too my mind is damn i was young and dumb, but never in our life do we expect to find something we thought was so outta reach to us, and now that happniess is right in front of me i know this is true love, when i lay awake by myself at night i realize that this is really what i have been urning for this is what i have been looking for for so long, this is NOT something that is just habit that i have grown to know, this is how i really feel this is....this is......AMAZING! so can anyone see a difference in my words this time from last, me and what i thought was it are deff not together ne more and i have found someone that is AMAZING she makes me smile every single day and is better to me then anyone i have ever met in my life, everytime i think about her i smile and that has never happend to me in my whole entire life....and here is what she has to say... never in my life did i ever imagine being able to feel the emotions you bring out of my heart, and never did i think that this once cold heart could ever feel again, but this one moment in time, i gazed into the eyes of of a beautiful, amazing, special woman. and who was it that stood infront of me? the woman i've been waiting for to wake up the part of me that i thought was lost forever. for the first time in years, my heart took a true beat. one that i could feel and know that everthing i have always wanted was finally standing infront of me... willing to love me back. through my imperfections and my flaws, she saw me... and i saw her...the one, and finally i can put a face to what i have seen in my mind for too long. i found you! you are my everything and until the day i take my last breath, i will continue loving you for who you are and who i am when i'm with you. you make me be me, and for that, i will always be forever thankful. i love you and i am in love with you. i will give you the world if you will let me. forever yours baby, jessica. ....so do you see why i love this girl with all my heart!
i have never in my life felt the way about anyone as i do about her she does somthing to me that i dont know how to even explain! people prolly think i am a bad person for how i did, not only nicole but heidi too, and those people can suck my dick! if there is nething my mom ever tought me it was you cant help how you feel and who you love, and that is beyond the truth! sometimes when i think about the past relationships i have been in i wonder y, y did i feel that way and y did i think the way i did, but when i think about what i have, i know that only i know y....and thats left up to me and only me to know, but i will tell you this, wether man and woman, man and man, or woman and woman, there is always gonna be problems, doubts, and happiness, you just gotta know how to persevere and conqure all the challenges that life throws at you! when i thought it was it for me, i was wrong. and you know y, cuz i THOUGHT! i know now that you gotta KNOW what u feel and y you feel that way, if you dont know y i dont believe that its true! like i said i thought nicole was it but then i realized after finding out who she really was, it was me wanting to be happy not trying to find someone that could be happy with me! but now....when i look into jessicas eyes, i see something ive never seen before, and that something is someone who actually loves be back. yeah you can love someone but if they dont love you back its nothing but a waste of your time! let me make it very clear, yes i loved nicole and yeah i cared about her and i will always have love for her BUT I HATE THAT SHE USED ME TILL I FELT LIKE I WAS NOTHING, NOONE, NOT OF IMPORTANCE, AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE HER FOR THAT, but let me also make it very known that i wouldnt ever take it back cuz if it wasnt for her fucken me over, i would have never discovered that i could give someone my all, that i could ever love! she tought me alot about myself, somethings i wish i didnt know some im glad she showed me, w/e long story short, i am who i am you are how you are and life goes on, ill just make sure i never get treated the way you treated me ever agian!......
~tllg