(no subject)
He wants to come back into my life. The irony is, I'm not sure if I want him there. I want more than he's willing or able to give me and I'm not sure I can live with that. Then again, I'm not exactly up for anything serious at this moment either. He has work to do. I don't trust him and he knows that. It's going to be hard...
I have a great deal of thinking to do.
Last night was odd.
A phone number handed to me followed by an invite to the bar. He's funny and charming and we click in a weird way.
A comment war on Facebook.
A text message followed by a bittersweet rendez-vous. My heart is screaming one thing and my brain is screaming another. I know exactly what my friends (B) would say and I'm partly inclined to agree with them (her). Only the part that wonders "what if?" is keeping me from pushing him away.
I kept myself together at work. It's amazing how easy it is to stuff my emotions until I'm ready to deal with them now. Since cutting is no longer an option, all I can do is let myself feel.
New York, New York...
They say love makes you do the wacky.
Maybe I'm wacked out: I'm not sure I want to leave here anymore.
I have a great deal of thinking to do.
Last night was odd.
A phone number handed to me followed by an invite to the bar. He's funny and charming and we click in a weird way.
A comment war on Facebook.
A text message followed by a bittersweet rendez-vous. My heart is screaming one thing and my brain is screaming another. I know exactly what my friends (B) would say and I'm partly inclined to agree with them (her). Only the part that wonders "what if?" is keeping me from pushing him away.
I kept myself together at work. It's amazing how easy it is to stuff my emotions until I'm ready to deal with them now. Since cutting is no longer an option, all I can do is let myself feel.
New York, New York...
They say love makes you do the wacky.
Maybe I'm wacked out: I'm not sure I want to leave here anymore.