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Word for today is: (
Word #181 )
Author: Deltachild
Rating: Yellow Flag (PG)
Pairing: Christian/Kimi
A/N: Set at the 2006 Brazilian Grand Prix
People call him the Iceman but I’ve always found it so easy to read his face. Even before we started to share a bed together, I was able to walk by him in the paddock and gauge what sort of mood he was in. Of course, I had to get to know him a little first, but he’s always been so clear to me.
I think that might be why I’m so scared now. I’m looking at his face and I can’t tell what he’s thinking.
“Kimi?” I have to get him to talk to me, I cannot stand this silence.
I step closer to him, lifting one hand and stroking it down his face. His cheek is warm and smooth beneath the palm of my hand. I cannot help but trace the pad of my thumb along his cheekbone. Oh god, why won’t he look at me properly?
He offers up no resistance as I tilt his head towards me and press my lips to his. I’m well aware that from his change in persona this could be our last kiss, so I open my mouth and gently touch my tongue to his lips. Using just the tip of my tongue I trace the place where his lips join together and keep his mouth closed against mine.
I bring my other hand to rest on the small of his back and draw him to me. Our hips and chests connect, feeling as right as they always have. It takes a fraction of a second for the usual fire to ignite between us; I can feel every nerve ending burning with the nearness of him and it seems he feels it to.
His mouth opens beneath mine and his tongue draws me into the sweetness of him. As his tongue curls and strokes at my own, I feel his hands come up to frame either side of my face. Too late I realise what the pressure coming through his palms means.
I don’t whimper as he breaks our kiss but I can feel my heart crying out. I can’t lose him as well.
“Christian..”
“Don’t, don’t say it, please. Whatever it is, we can cope with it. I can change. This can work.”
“Chris, I…this…”
One palm feels his body slipping away from me, the other feels a final last kiss pressed to it.
“I’m…I’m a Ferrari driver now, there’s too much at stake. I’m sorry.”
I know him well enough to tell when he’s lying, surely he must know that?
I don’t close my eyes as he walks away from me. I need to burn this image into my mind, so I can use it to remember that this cannot be the way that it ends.
Kimi turns to look at me as he reaches the door, and just like that his face is open to me again. His beautiful face stripped bare of any mask and I can only see pure Kimi now.
He doesn’t want to do this. I can see the unwillingness and regret in his eyes. There’s one last thing in his eyes and, as the still air carries another ‘sorry’ to my ears, I read his last emotion, love.
The door closes and I ball my hands into fists to stop myself from walking after him, or even calling his name. I will find who or what has made him do this and I will find someway to change it. We’ve seen each other through some of the hardest times of our career, and I can get us through this.
I run my tongue across my lips, savouring the lingering taste of Kimi, and I vow that it will not be my last.
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