[fiction] Day 3: Glimpses of the Edge (PG)

[mardahin]

Title: Glimpses of the Edge
Rating: PG
Summary: (Stargate Atlantis) The aftermath of the Alliance of Atlantis, from the perspective of five very different women. Bridges universe, sequel to Bridges You Cross.

14 Valentines: Body Image

Comments

[druidspell]

Ah, another long comment. But I loved this story so much, I couldn't leave anything less.

I've come back to this time and again since you finished it.
He had offered her a way to serve again, a way to help her people one more time instead of dying as one of the nameless on the cold cots of the medical halls. Once you had the shakes, you were no longer counted among the living - you were not strong enough to work, so you were a waste of resources. It's such a coldly practical thing for the Genii to do--when you're too sick to work, you don't matter anymore, you die nameless. And it's heartbreaking, but it's one of the sacrifices that I can easily see people making, because they can't afford to waste precious resources to keep people alive who won't aid the survival of their people in some meaningful way. Prolonging the lives of the sick, in this case, would be an unconscionable waste of resources to the Genii. And the fact that Dahlia is there as living proof of the Genii loyalty to the Alliance of Atlantis is so meaningful to me--first, because she's obviously one of the most important people in Ladon's life, that her presence guarantees his loyalty, and second, her presence guarantees his loyalty if something goes wrong. He's already shown himself willing to risk much for the sake of his sister; if things go badly, Dahlia's presence will be a leash on Ladon's temper, because so many things can happen to a woman recovering from a dreadful illness if he doesn't cooperate. And the botany labs in Atlantis must be things of beauty--Rodney mocks the botanists so much in fic, but I think they do an important job; not just keeping people fed by working to increase crop yields and such, but planting green things, providing a retreat. And Dahlia not wanting to get used to touching, when she might get sick again and die, rang so true for me.

Okay, seriously, how did Major Pain-in-the-Ass Wilson get to be the head of psychiatry at the SGC? Kate's section was my favorite of this story (of course, I already told you that.) So often, she's ignored in fic, and the writers of the show aren't interested in using her to her strengths, so it's something of a relief to find a fic where she's not either A) absent or B) incompetent. When she stands up to Landry, I want to stand behind her and cheer, and then punch Landry in the face. Because honestly, he should have known better, considering the criteria on which they chose the expedition, and then telling them to help him plan to nuke the city that they've fought and bled and killed and died for. I'm so viciously gleeful that Kat got the last word, and I hope Landry and Wilson are forced to eat crow for the rest of their lives. And then... then Kate goes as far as she can and still be on dry land, until she gets to the sea. And it's as close to home as she can get, and it's still not quite right because nothing ever will be. And I have to wonder if it will ever feel right again, or if she'll be lost here, feeling cut off from her family and her home for the rest of her life.

I love Lindsay's section as well--how the people going native seem like an urban legend at first, then she realizes that the veterans from Atlantis are quietly disappearing and going back to their city. And that she decides to join them, spur of the moment... Love. Nothing but love for this fic. They'd written off Sheppard and his team as acceptable losses, and that was something she would never be able to condone. I can't condone it, either, and I think I'm going to end up hating Landry forever (or at least until SG-1 is over at the end of this season).

Marta's story didn't elicit as strong an emotional response from me, at least not up until the very end when she realized that the Ancients had failed, but she, her people, and their allies would not. Her determination there caught at me, made me proud, made me want to stand beside her and defend the city as well.

(My comment was too long, thoughts on Miko posted in about four seconds.)

[druidspell]

Miko was firmly of the opinion that if her father had wanted less stress, he would have married a calmer woman, but before going to Atlantis she'd never have even considered voicing the sentiment. Oh, poor Miko. The good daughter, and then the woman who returns isn't the same, but has to try and fit that mold again, even though she's outgrown it. And then her father's diagnosed with cancer just before she has the chance to go back home, and it's not fair, but that's the way life works out sometimes. And this glimpse of Miko: she never could say no when he asked her to do something (asked being the operative word; she'd gotten rather good at saying no when he demanded), so different from the proper lady scientist we saw in "Letters from Pegasus" was amazing. I love that she took a piece of Ancient tech with her that would project the views of home, and that she moved to a district by the sea. And doing the right thing hurts so much sometimes.

[mardahin]

Miko is one of those who I think is most changed by her time in Atlantis, but in the subtlest ways. She went from having a mold to fit to being somewhere that there were no stereotypes to slot into - no proscribed behaviors. The Athosians and the Botanists and the Sociologists and the Marines all mingled interchangably because you never knew who might save your life. Teyla taught her to handle herself, and gave her a physical confidence that she'd never had before. This is a woman who, after 35 sheltered years, stepped onto an alien world under a double sun and shopped the open-air markets without fear.

Miko's story is sad, but that's partly because (IMO) it's so real. People give up dreams and opportunities all the time because something came up and they did the right thing instead of what they wanted for themselves.

To give you a touch of hope? Miko and Kate found a grass-roots organization for "survivors" of Atlantis - mutual support groups that meet every one to two months and exchange smuggled data and plan for the day when Atlantis makes contact again and Sheppard & Weir come back for them.

[mardahin]

Um, can't coherently answer your gushing praise ATM, am currently freezing my ass off in the upstairs room that just got DSL and doesn't have a heat vent (we're getting the space heater tomorrow). Will try to respond to both segments of it later, but suffice it to say "Wow. Um, I'm floored that you got so much out of it."

[mardahin]

In addition to being an unconscionable waste of resources, prolonging the suffering of those with the sickness is morally unconscionable - they don't have a cure, and once you hit the final stages it's just pain.

That's exactly why Dahlia was in the first batch of emigrants - because they knew how much she meant to Ladon, and because he knew that they knew. She was a personal pledge, as much as anything else. It also serves a second purpose, because it reassures him that she's near the best available medical care should she relapse. There's a fear in people who have lost something essential - like physical contact or emotional support - of getting used to having it again. Because once you know something can be taken away, you know it might happen again and you know exactly how much losing it will hurt. So instead, you presume that the pain of not having it is easier than having to cope with the changes of having it and not having it and having it and not having it. After all, the sickness isn't something that comes with guarantees. Botany is one of those sciences that no one appreciates until suddenly they do - whether it's because they adapted coffee beans to grow in Pegasus, planted the memorial garden, or planted a regular garden that contains familiar flowers and seasoning herbs. They work quietly in the background, but provide essential services.

You'd be amazed at how assholes end up running departments they should never even be in, because no one knows what to do with them and can't really justify firing them. It's not that the writers of SGA don't like using Kate's strengths - they haven't bothered to give her any in canon. I've actually plotted her entire history from Uni-Atlantis for Tears Unshed. I'll have to share it with you sometime.

I think it was almost as much a realization for Kate as well as anyone else about how much Atlantis really had become home. Up until then, it was just another posting. Or at least she thought it was.

The thing with Lindsey is that the decision isn't actually as spur of the moment as it seems - it's something she's been working up to for a while, just indirectly. And the position that all of those on the Daedalus were put in was unconscionable.

I had wanted to do more with Marta about the humanization of the deified Ancestors into fallible beings, but couldn't figure out how. I'm glad at least some of it came through. I also wanted to make sure that Teyla wasn't the only Athosian woman to be seen carrying a gun and pulling her weight - Marta was screwed up when we saw her in "Hide & Seek" because she'd just lost her brother, not because of a lack of general courage (not canon, just my own explanation). Nevermind the justified terror of being in Atlantis, which at the time (and for years after) was a giant, floating deathtrap.