Interlude 2 | Don't raise the blindfold
i don't want you to see what i am
Idle hands are the devil's tools.
That's what the man in the cathedral always told him. Idle hands are hands that do not.
But hands that do not will always do. So how can hands ever be idle?
(He later learned from Mana that the pastor meant 'idle hands are hands that do naught', but, well. He was only a child back then.)
The younger half of the Fourteenth Noah never liked doing nothing, anyhow. Even after he'd become a Noah.
He took lessons on swordplay and used the Earl's money to buy rapiers. He liked his swords. He liked killing.
His hands were never idle. The devil could not use them.
But killing became boring after a while. All the eyes and jars wouldn't fit in his room in the Earl's mansion anymore. So he stopped collecting.
He took piano lessons. And his hands were not idle.
He found a secret room, he made a secret room, and his hands were never idle.
Killing, collecting, piano, Mana.
His hands were never idle.
And then he died.
And then he was killed.
And then he was murdered.
No, no.
Murderer.
"You can't use 'murder', dearest brother. ♥"
Murderer.
"You are a Noah. And so am I. ♥"
Murderer.
"We do not 'murder' one another, dearest brother. ♥"
Murderer.
"You, of all beings, are not allowed to be 'murdered'."
....Murderer.
And his hands were idle.
And the devil.
The devil.
The devil.
Would not let him die peacefully.
Painlessly.
With idle hands.
i don't want you to know
He first instinct, always, is to reach to his hip. His rapier is not there.
It's saddening.
His next instinct, usually, is to call a door to his secret room on the Ark. To his piano. But he can't.
The Dressing Room. Can't.
It's frustrating.
Third, sometimes, is to collect.
But. Well.
He can't.
Because Mana said so. Mana said "no more eyes." No more eyes.
No more eyes.
It's.
No more eyes.
But Mana is not Mana. Mana is Mana, not Mana. Not Mana.
Never Mana.
It's painful.
Never Mana.
Never.
Mana doesn't say no. Mana doesn't say "no more eyes". Mana doesn't. Mana.
Doesn't.
No more eyes.
Never.
Idle hands.
No.
He has one, an eye. It's red. A beautiful red.
Gold and red. Gold and red.
Lavi's.
Gold, red, Lavi's.
It's beautiful.
.....Lavi. Lavi.
Lavi.
Is asleep. Thank god. But, wait.
It musn't go here. Mustn't.
Never.
What would Lavi think? Waking up to an eye in a jar. And his own, no less. Technically.
Would he be like Mana? His Mana. Mana never said no. Never. Never said no.
..But he never said yes, either.
"It's okay, brother. It's okay. I love you. It's okay."
I love you.
I love you.
But do you love me?
Will he say yes? Yes, Lavi? Yes?
What will he say?
Yes?
No?
Will he say no? No, Lavi? No, Fourteenth. No.
No more eyes?
What will he think?
Lavi.
Lavi.
His Lavi.
Yes, no. Yes? No?
It's okay.
His room is empty. It smells of bleach. But it isn't clean. It's never clean.
Never.
He sets the jar down on a nightstand. Motions. Speaks.
"On. Gataru. Masara kato. Abata. On."
Gold and red, swivelling. Gazing.
She looked at me with disdain.
Following.
She thought I was strange.
Watching.
"Keep watching," he smiles, dark, with unseeing eyes, patting the top of the jar as though it were a child's head. "Keep watching."
I'll show you how messed up I am.
But. No. No.
No.
Back. Back to his room. Back ot Lavi's room.
Lavi.
Yes. No?
They said yes. Rhode said yes. Earl said yes.
Yes. Yes, eyes. Pretty eyes. Pretty collection. Yes.
Yes, no?
Yes. No.
Yes.
Into bed. Lavi's bed.
No.
No?
It's okay.
Lavi.
"Lavi."
Idle hands.
Arm around his waist. Arm around his shoulders. Pull him close.
Closer.
Yes.
His bird will not sing. It caws. It rasps.
"I hate you."
His bird will not understand. Never.
Never.
It's okay.
"Lavi."
murmur, whisper, breathe
"Lavi."
No.
Noahs can't cry.
Yes.
It's okay.
Noah's can't cry.
"Lavi."
Yes? No?
It's okay.
They don't understand. They won't. Never.
Never.
It's okay.
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
"Lavi."
Stay. Don't go.
I love you.
Mana is Mana, not Mana.
Lavi is Lavi, not lavi.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
It's okay.
Yes? No?
It's okay. I.
Noah's can't feel.
I.
Don't leave.
I love.
Mana. Is Mana.
I love.
Lavi. Is Lavi.
"I'll show you."
Mine.
My sanity.
My.
Noah's can't love.
"...Lavi."
Mine.
Yes? No?
But it's okay.
"I love you."
Please, don't.
Don't say no
because then I'll truly show you.
that i love you to death