On caring and balance, natures course
Everything that I know about pregnancy and childbearing tells me that a woman's body prepares her to give birth and nurture a child. Nature has balanced and created women to do so in a really amazing way. I won't go into bunches of details about hormonal changes and what those hormones do or how they draw mom and baby closer together or that the hormones help make the connection so that mom knows what baby needs. I realize that hormones are not enough to make a mom mother an infant.
In today's world there is soo much more that goes into mothering. Like finding a way to have a baby, breastfeed if possible and work and get sleep but also agree to the needs of a baby that needs food about every two hours. There is plenty of research that tells people, how to______, but what about all the hormones that tell us how to____? Why is the idea of allowing one's body to dictate and do what nature intended it to do sooo difficult? If a baby needs food every 2-3 hours an 8 hour work day isn't going to be compatible, especially when the baby's eating cycle continues through the night for a while after birth. Society has replaced the natural course with the how to ______ of science so much so that we often don't know to listen to our bodies.
For example, through out the menstrual cycle ( well a normal, typical menstrual cycle) the fluids thickness or thinness is a good, natural indicator of fertility, if you pay careful and close attention to it, nature will do its thing, most of the time, provided you are not infertile. Or for those who don't have time to pay attention to their bodies we can go to the pharmacy and grab an ovulation monitor, science does natures job for us.
I'm not so radical to say that we should never use science, it does some really great things for us. I do admit the only reason I can see here and type on my screen is because I can see the screen and I can only see the screen because I am wearing glasses made specifically for my eyes. On the other hand I try to pay very close attention to what my body tells me, if I need a nap at 3pm I try to take one if there is a way. I believe that if I can get into private practice eventually that I could potentially schedule my work around my baby, if I ever have/get one. Of course I will need help, its not like I can just sit home with baby all of the time. There needs to be a new balance for the natural and modern worlds. OUr bodies evolved as they did for good reason.
So in thinking about the natural course of things it does not amaze me to hear that when a woman is told the best thing she can do is to give her baby away that she listens. Everything her body is doing is telling her to care for the chid, hence the food cravings, body says"give me what i need", the body protects against many things durring pregnancy and the hormones help to aid in the process of caring. Now in this technology rich age we tell women that the best thing she can do, the way to care for her baby is to place the baby with strangers. The message is not naturally right, the message is not alligned with the body, the mind the soul. The body is ready for HER to care for HER child, and even in cases where infants perish, the womans body still often continues the process of caring by preparing milk and making those changes even without the baby present. It is no wonder that this " place baby to care for baby" leaving a woman screaming out in all kinds of pain, even if she can see the child with the new family as s/he grows up.
So if the body is saying care for baby, why listen to a backwards message like give the baby to someone else and that is the best way for you to care for him/her??? Simple, the message is coated with the word caring, with "love". The cryptic meaning of the message is don't care for your baby give it away, palce it with strangers. At a young age, or in a position where you have an environment that give the message "be afraid", "fear the end result" and not good support or truthful information, you will listen to any person who tells you the best way to do your job. Of course women give their children away to care for them, they aren't told tha the expereince is one of abandonment and that the infant will not know that the mother cared. The body of the infant indicates that which is part of the reason the mother's need to care is so strong, the infant and mother are a unit.
This adoption stuff, while it has some roots in ancient civilizations the modern, US version simply is not the same thing, it is it's own beast, interfering with the natural course of the mother and child. Yes, of course there are some people not capable of properly caring for a child, but it is only those cases where a child might need to be placed with strangers to care for him/her. What goes on today is a clear interferance with the course of nature, the after affects show that very clearly. The agony of the women how are told to care by giving away is clear. it emenates from deep within them so much that if you have them speaking of their pain you can just about feel it when you are with them.
The infant who is removed shortly after birth, recall is still a unit with the mother, not completely separate ( you can check out Fred PIne's revisit to Mahler's theory on this) is after all on the flip side of the pain and by that I do not mean joy. I mean mother is one side of a coin and the child is the other. the coin is pain.
The infant clearly has no choice in the matter. The mother fooled into thinking to care for her child she must not nurture or mother it, has no choice but to go against her instincts and follow orders of some other presence, be it her mother, a social worker, Dr. or anyone else who presents as having some authority or knowledge beyond what the mother herself has. We see not nature taking its course but science in the forms of medicine and a strange sort of social enginiering taking preseidence over a long sacred relationship and experience.
In today's world there is soo much more that goes into mothering. Like finding a way to have a baby, breastfeed if possible and work and get sleep but also agree to the needs of a baby that needs food about every two hours. There is plenty of research that tells people, how to______, but what about all the hormones that tell us how to____? Why is the idea of allowing one's body to dictate and do what nature intended it to do sooo difficult? If a baby needs food every 2-3 hours an 8 hour work day isn't going to be compatible, especially when the baby's eating cycle continues through the night for a while after birth. Society has replaced the natural course with the how to ______ of science so much so that we often don't know to listen to our bodies.
For example, through out the menstrual cycle ( well a normal, typical menstrual cycle) the fluids thickness or thinness is a good, natural indicator of fertility, if you pay careful and close attention to it, nature will do its thing, most of the time, provided you are not infertile. Or for those who don't have time to pay attention to their bodies we can go to the pharmacy and grab an ovulation monitor, science does natures job for us.
I'm not so radical to say that we should never use science, it does some really great things for us. I do admit the only reason I can see here and type on my screen is because I can see the screen and I can only see the screen because I am wearing glasses made specifically for my eyes. On the other hand I try to pay very close attention to what my body tells me, if I need a nap at 3pm I try to take one if there is a way. I believe that if I can get into private practice eventually that I could potentially schedule my work around my baby, if I ever have/get one. Of course I will need help, its not like I can just sit home with baby all of the time. There needs to be a new balance for the natural and modern worlds. OUr bodies evolved as they did for good reason.
So in thinking about the natural course of things it does not amaze me to hear that when a woman is told the best thing she can do is to give her baby away that she listens. Everything her body is doing is telling her to care for the chid, hence the food cravings, body says"give me what i need", the body protects against many things durring pregnancy and the hormones help to aid in the process of caring. Now in this technology rich age we tell women that the best thing she can do, the way to care for her baby is to place the baby with strangers. The message is not naturally right, the message is not alligned with the body, the mind the soul. The body is ready for HER to care for HER child, and even in cases where infants perish, the womans body still often continues the process of caring by preparing milk and making those changes even without the baby present. It is no wonder that this " place baby to care for baby" leaving a woman screaming out in all kinds of pain, even if she can see the child with the new family as s/he grows up.
So if the body is saying care for baby, why listen to a backwards message like give the baby to someone else and that is the best way for you to care for him/her??? Simple, the message is coated with the word caring, with "love". The cryptic meaning of the message is don't care for your baby give it away, palce it with strangers. At a young age, or in a position where you have an environment that give the message "be afraid", "fear the end result" and not good support or truthful information, you will listen to any person who tells you the best way to do your job. Of course women give their children away to care for them, they aren't told tha the expereince is one of abandonment and that the infant will not know that the mother cared. The body of the infant indicates that which is part of the reason the mother's need to care is so strong, the infant and mother are a unit.
This adoption stuff, while it has some roots in ancient civilizations the modern, US version simply is not the same thing, it is it's own beast, interfering with the natural course of the mother and child. Yes, of course there are some people not capable of properly caring for a child, but it is only those cases where a child might need to be placed with strangers to care for him/her. What goes on today is a clear interferance with the course of nature, the after affects show that very clearly. The agony of the women how are told to care by giving away is clear. it emenates from deep within them so much that if you have them speaking of their pain you can just about feel it when you are with them.
The infant who is removed shortly after birth, recall is still a unit with the mother, not completely separate ( you can check out Fred PIne's revisit to Mahler's theory on this) is after all on the flip side of the pain and by that I do not mean joy. I mean mother is one side of a coin and the child is the other. the coin is pain.
The infant clearly has no choice in the matter. The mother fooled into thinking to care for her child she must not nurture or mother it, has no choice but to go against her instincts and follow orders of some other presence, be it her mother, a social worker, Dr. or anyone else who presents as having some authority or knowledge beyond what the mother herself has. We see not nature taking its course but science in the forms of medicine and a strange sort of social enginiering taking preseidence over a long sacred relationship and experience.