(no subject)
i don't know why i'm sitting here googling you/wiki-ing you, crying, listening to nick cave. what the fuck are the chances that the first time he'd blame it on cones and bourbon and you blame it on jager and scotch. i don't like feeling retarded. i don't like feeling like i fucked it. you've messaged me twice about jay z and nine inch nails so i don't think it's game over. i can't stop feeling like this i can't stop crying i can't keep my room clean i can't make myself go to school i can't remember to brush my teeth or take my antibiotics twice a day. goddamn it every time i try to get out i just fall back in.