My life has changed in so many ways
Not just this year, but since I first moved to the UP to live with Mama. Since I first asked my husband to go to prom with me. Since I walked down the aisle too early in shoes too big, and with doubtful eyes upon me.
There are so many places I could be right now, but I'm so glad that I'm here, now living in Seattle with Seth. We just had a beautiful weekend out on Cannon Beach, and I realized that I'm one of those people I'd always wanted to be. Someone with a person they love, a family that loves them, a life that brings them to places as stunning as what's seen in pictures. I could be homeless, or living in Lake Linden with Mama. I could be alone as I thought I'd always be.
But I've got so much love around me, living a life beyond my biggest hopes. It's not perfect, it's not without sacrifices, but it's mine.
After waking up on my anniversary with all the time in the world to read a few chapters from lomonaaeren, go hiking, play on the beach, eat a few fancy meals and shop, I saw myself differently. I used to avoid the outdoors like the plague. I hated being outside, was a self-titled "city girl" with city tastes and no need to be outside for more than a few minutes. I didn't see beauty outside, lushness or impossibilities. I just saw grass, trees, and a chance that the rain might mess up my hair.
Now, I dream of the outdoors. Of mountains and rolling hills, thick forests and frigid coasts. I'm looking forward to our next hike, our next trip out to Forks, seeing the lower parts of Oregon and finally going to British Columbia. I can go to Bellingham and have a favorite place to eat, or out to Port Angeles to meet a few friends, or down to Eugene. I'm addicted to seeing new places, and love returning to old favorites.
There's something to be said for someone who once couldn't sit on the porch for more than 20 minutes before feeling germy, who's now waiting for the temps to warm up a bit so that she can go camping on Mt. Rainier.
I stop and stare at things, let the gravity of what I'm seeing swell up in my chest, and really love absorbing the world through these new eyes. Really letting them linger on Seth who loves me.
There are so many places I could be right now, but I'm so glad that I'm here, now living in Seattle with Seth. We just had a beautiful weekend out on Cannon Beach, and I realized that I'm one of those people I'd always wanted to be. Someone with a person they love, a family that loves them, a life that brings them to places as stunning as what's seen in pictures. I could be homeless, or living in Lake Linden with Mama. I could be alone as I thought I'd always be.
But I've got so much love around me, living a life beyond my biggest hopes. It's not perfect, it's not without sacrifices, but it's mine.
After waking up on my anniversary with all the time in the world to read a few chapters from lomonaaeren, go hiking, play on the beach, eat a few fancy meals and shop, I saw myself differently. I used to avoid the outdoors like the plague. I hated being outside, was a self-titled "city girl" with city tastes and no need to be outside for more than a few minutes. I didn't see beauty outside, lushness or impossibilities. I just saw grass, trees, and a chance that the rain might mess up my hair.
Now, I dream of the outdoors. Of mountains and rolling hills, thick forests and frigid coasts. I'm looking forward to our next hike, our next trip out to Forks, seeing the lower parts of Oregon and finally going to British Columbia. I can go to Bellingham and have a favorite place to eat, or out to Port Angeles to meet a few friends, or down to Eugene. I'm addicted to seeing new places, and love returning to old favorites.
There's something to be said for someone who once couldn't sit on the porch for more than 20 minutes before feeling germy, who's now waiting for the temps to warm up a bit so that she can go camping on Mt. Rainier.
I stop and stare at things, let the gravity of what I'm seeing swell up in my chest, and really love absorbing the world through these new eyes. Really letting them linger on Seth who loves me.