He's Homesick
Seth has been so upset lately. We went home for Christmas, and it was like a blast into the past. Everything was the same--it was snowing, it was stark cold, the stores and restaurants were the same. The people too. We got together with friends and ate at our old restaurant, Seth went exploring with his best friend like old times, and I met up with my best friend at a cafe we like.
Most of the time, though, Seth's family was arguing. Seth's oldest little brother (Lucas) has become troublesome and hard to deal with. At 15 he insults, ignores, and takes advantage of his family. Seth's mom flew off the handle at the slightest provocation, and Seth spent most of the time playing video games, or hiding out in the basement while the family argued about whatever his brother had or hadn't done.
It was fun, of course. For me, it wasn't at all like a vacation. Instead of spending my week relaxing, reading, and staying warm, it was spent running around, cooking, baking, and having Seth's mom (who I love) say "it's just icky" in regards to my food. I never noticed before how she tramples over other people's ideas. I'd say I want to make the cookies and peppermint bark treats that I made last year as gifts for MY friends, those that I hadn't bought gifts for, and she'd say that the stuff I made last year was "icky" because white chocolate is "icky" and too sweet. No matter that everyone loved my peppermint bark--she thought it was ICKY so we had to make it from scratch HER way.
My cherry ham with Vernors gravy is a classic dish, something I have as a birthday dinner that Mama used to make for me. Seth's mom has been making it these past few years, but felt the need to tell me that she's not making the Vernors gravy because she doesn't like it, and it's ICKY. It was hard to be around her with her calling so many things icky (that she liked before), that everyone else loves. She hates sweet, salty, spicy, or seasoned things. Because of this, now no one can have anything that's sweetened or seasoned (I'm guessing).
Anyways, despite dealing with stomping around, yelling, and one of the rudest kids I've ever been around, it was nice being home. Having real, wood stove heat and home-cooked meals. Being in a homely place with color and warmth. Seeing Seth's dog, Otis again. Going to church.
But now that we're back (since Tuesday), Seth's just upset. He's so homesick, he's been dragging, stressed, crying. These past two days have been nothing but him texting me while at work about how much he misses home, how sad he is, how terrible he feels. He cried this morning because he was dreading the months ahead before he gets to go home again. He says he doesn't want to see them every few months because big blocks of time like that are hard on him. Since we moved to Oregon, his brothers grew a foot, got acne, hormones, and his littlest brother's voice changed. His grandparents are more forgetful than ever. His parents seem to spend all their time trying to avoid arguments with Lucas by waiting on him. Lucas learned how to drive, and Seth didn't get to help teach him.
Seth's upset that he's upset. Last time he was this homesick, we'd moved to Hawaii for the summer. We moved right back because he couldn't handle it. This time around, I made sure that he was okay with it. I told him that I would rather he be happy in the UP than unhappy wherever I wanted to live (not in the UP). He promised me that he wouldn't miss home too much and would be fine. Now, he's angry that he's sad, that he's putting me through it again, and just wont tell me what he wants. I'm sure he wants to move back to the midwest, and though I'd hate every moment of it, I'd do it for him to stop acting like someone died.
I'm pretty insensitive, I didn't mope or cry this much when Mama died. So I'm annoyed that anything I say to Seth comes off as offensive. I don't understand how someone could be this sad and miss that place so much. I don't understand how it warrants tears, stress, worry, and re-working our income to fly back as often as possible. Why did we move here if all he wants is to fly back there?
I just don't know what to do to get him to stop being so depressed all the time.
Most of the time, though, Seth's family was arguing. Seth's oldest little brother (Lucas) has become troublesome and hard to deal with. At 15 he insults, ignores, and takes advantage of his family. Seth's mom flew off the handle at the slightest provocation, and Seth spent most of the time playing video games, or hiding out in the basement while the family argued about whatever his brother had or hadn't done.
It was fun, of course. For me, it wasn't at all like a vacation. Instead of spending my week relaxing, reading, and staying warm, it was spent running around, cooking, baking, and having Seth's mom (who I love) say "it's just icky" in regards to my food. I never noticed before how she tramples over other people's ideas. I'd say I want to make the cookies and peppermint bark treats that I made last year as gifts for MY friends, those that I hadn't bought gifts for, and she'd say that the stuff I made last year was "icky" because white chocolate is "icky" and too sweet. No matter that everyone loved my peppermint bark--she thought it was ICKY so we had to make it from scratch HER way.
My cherry ham with Vernors gravy is a classic dish, something I have as a birthday dinner that Mama used to make for me. Seth's mom has been making it these past few years, but felt the need to tell me that she's not making the Vernors gravy because she doesn't like it, and it's ICKY. It was hard to be around her with her calling so many things icky (that she liked before), that everyone else loves. She hates sweet, salty, spicy, or seasoned things. Because of this, now no one can have anything that's sweetened or seasoned (I'm guessing).
Anyways, despite dealing with stomping around, yelling, and one of the rudest kids I've ever been around, it was nice being home. Having real, wood stove heat and home-cooked meals. Being in a homely place with color and warmth. Seeing Seth's dog, Otis again. Going to church.
But now that we're back (since Tuesday), Seth's just upset. He's so homesick, he's been dragging, stressed, crying. These past two days have been nothing but him texting me while at work about how much he misses home, how sad he is, how terrible he feels. He cried this morning because he was dreading the months ahead before he gets to go home again. He says he doesn't want to see them every few months because big blocks of time like that are hard on him. Since we moved to Oregon, his brothers grew a foot, got acne, hormones, and his littlest brother's voice changed. His grandparents are more forgetful than ever. His parents seem to spend all their time trying to avoid arguments with Lucas by waiting on him. Lucas learned how to drive, and Seth didn't get to help teach him.
Seth's upset that he's upset. Last time he was this homesick, we'd moved to Hawaii for the summer. We moved right back because he couldn't handle it. This time around, I made sure that he was okay with it. I told him that I would rather he be happy in the UP than unhappy wherever I wanted to live (not in the UP). He promised me that he wouldn't miss home too much and would be fine. Now, he's angry that he's sad, that he's putting me through it again, and just wont tell me what he wants. I'm sure he wants to move back to the midwest, and though I'd hate every moment of it, I'd do it for him to stop acting like someone died.
I'm pretty insensitive, I didn't mope or cry this much when Mama died. So I'm annoyed that anything I say to Seth comes off as offensive. I don't understand how someone could be this sad and miss that place so much. I don't understand how it warrants tears, stress, worry, and re-working our income to fly back as often as possible. Why did we move here if all he wants is to fly back there?
I just don't know what to do to get him to stop being so depressed all the time.