It's better than 98% of Prime Time
Team Edward
Team Jacob
Team Economy!
I don't care if Bela takes up with Godzilla, next - just keep the tourism coming! Seriously, anything with a vampire-esque theme is better than almost anything without a vampire-esque theme. No matter how campy-kitsch, light-duty, or more holes in the plot than a colander - it's still better than 98% of the programming on TV.
The sitcoms aren't funny - all the jokes are predictable & the plots are so formulaic that I could have written them in High School.
The drama shows are just disgusting - I'm so tired of snark & smut!
The mysteries are kind of fun to watch, but largely forgettable.
The News is unwatchable - I swear if have to endure another man-made disaster, I'm going on a genocidal rampage & remove the problem right from the root!
You couldn't pay me to watch Sports, until the next Olympics.
All of the above applies to cartoons, too.
The only decent shows are science / science fiction - but we rarely get to see any unless there's a gap & they fill it with a Godzilla movie or a Star Trek. [We only get a handful of channels that comes in on broadcast. I refuse to subsidize channels that I vehemently opposed the content of.] TV's just not that important, anyway.
Dark Shadows ran from 1966 to 1971, & reruns were aired for at least a decade after that. That was a fun, campy, light-duty show - & is a cult classic. Same goes for Fright Night I & II. Maybe it's just me, but, I don't think a good movie has to be chokingly heavy with dramatic / intellectual investment to still be an enjoyable movie. I liked Blade a lot, but I forgot what I was watching about 1/3 of the way into it: too much dialog. (Same with The Matrix - terrific movie, but I just don't want to work that hard for a story. The dialog was too quiet, & the rest of it was too loud & I had to keep asking "What did he say?!", which drives everyone nuts. Then, the music blasts me out of my chair, & can't hear my friend's paraphrased answer anyway, & I have to say "WHAT?!?!", again ... it's a nightmare.) I like to be able to multi-task while a movie is playing, & still get the gist of it.
So, what I'd like to see next, is: Godzilla rising from the Pacific (has made peace with Tokyo for the time-being), but is enraged by the oil spills. Godzilla helps China with their oil spill. [Insert special effects sci-fi here.] Godzilla then stomps his way up the coast somewhere around La Push, bites a few cars, crushes a few criminals - no harm done, so far. Gets to Forks, where Bela somehow gets stuck to one of the rubbery scales, unnoticed; a few more drunk bullies get stomped - so far, so good. He makes it to Port Angeles (on everyone's day-off) & uses his lazer / lightening breath to blast the factory that's been vexing the peninsula for decades with mutagenic pollutants.
The town is happy about it. [Movie loses credibility.] Bela (who is still stuck to a rubbery scale) screams "help me!" a few times & doesn't do much else. [Movie regains credibility.]
Godzilla rampages across the U.S., slaughtering the cruel & the unjust. He suffers a few battle injuries along the way & starts to lose hydration. The smell from the piles of carnage awakens one of Godzilla's former winged enemies - but they're friends, now - who lifts Godzilla & flies him over to The Great Lakes. Godzilla doesn't have much time to rehydrate because there's plenty of butts that need to be kicked, there, too! He teams up with the resident plesiosaur, & they vanquish whoever needs it, & restore Lake Michigan to it's former, pristine, pre-industrial state.
At 3/4 of the way into the movie, Godzilla now makes his way to the Atlantic, for his most epic battle, ever - the Gulf Spill. Godzilla begins his descent into the watery depths, while Bela gets scraped off the scale, & helps to clean up the oil-soaked birds. [Technically, she should have experience with the Exxon Valdez clean-up efforts of 1989. I've decided it would be better that way.] Godzilla welds all of the cracks & holes in the pipes with his magic lazer / electric breath, that causes a minor explosion, releasing sci-fi sea monsters that eat crude & all types of plastic, & convert it to something useful yet rapidly biodegradable.
Now, he turns his reptilian fury upon the corporate scum & the U.S. ultimately loses 65% of it's population, (only the "bad people") destroying any future need for petroleum. The nation goes back to manual labor & everyone goes back to eating healthy food & no one is fat, anymore. All of the assembly-line / sweat-shop jobs return to the nation, & un-employment ceases to exist. Everything is made with wood or plant fiber or metal or glass, & there is no more pollution, criminals or bullies - ever again. The End.
Wasn't that fun?! Ok, it probably sucked as a movie, but it sure was satisfying! No snark, no smut, no unintelligible whispery dialog, lots of action & things getting done. Yay! But, since I can't have that wish come true, I'm happy with increased tourism $$ to the area.
Team Jacob
Team Economy!
I don't care if Bela takes up with Godzilla, next - just keep the tourism coming! Seriously, anything with a vampire-esque theme is better than almost anything without a vampire-esque theme. No matter how campy-kitsch, light-duty, or more holes in the plot than a colander - it's still better than 98% of the programming on TV.
The sitcoms aren't funny - all the jokes are predictable & the plots are so formulaic that I could have written them in High School.
The drama shows are just disgusting - I'm so tired of snark & smut!
The mysteries are kind of fun to watch, but largely forgettable.
The News is unwatchable - I swear if have to endure another man-made disaster, I'm going on a genocidal rampage & remove the problem right from the root!
You couldn't pay me to watch Sports, until the next Olympics.
All of the above applies to cartoons, too.
The only decent shows are science / science fiction - but we rarely get to see any unless there's a gap & they fill it with a Godzilla movie or a Star Trek. [We only get a handful of channels that comes in on broadcast. I refuse to subsidize channels that I vehemently opposed the content of.] TV's just not that important, anyway.
Dark Shadows ran from 1966 to 1971, & reruns were aired for at least a decade after that. That was a fun, campy, light-duty show - & is a cult classic. Same goes for Fright Night I & II. Maybe it's just me, but, I don't think a good movie has to be chokingly heavy with dramatic / intellectual investment to still be an enjoyable movie. I liked Blade a lot, but I forgot what I was watching about 1/3 of the way into it: too much dialog. (Same with The Matrix - terrific movie, but I just don't want to work that hard for a story. The dialog was too quiet, & the rest of it was too loud & I had to keep asking "What did he say?!", which drives everyone nuts. Then, the music blasts me out of my chair, & can't hear my friend's paraphrased answer anyway, & I have to say "WHAT?!?!", again ... it's a nightmare.) I like to be able to multi-task while a movie is playing, & still get the gist of it.
So, what I'd like to see next, is: Godzilla rising from the Pacific (has made peace with Tokyo for the time-being), but is enraged by the oil spills. Godzilla helps China with their oil spill. [Insert special effects sci-fi here.] Godzilla then stomps his way up the coast somewhere around La Push, bites a few cars, crushes a few criminals - no harm done, so far. Gets to Forks, where Bela somehow gets stuck to one of the rubbery scales, unnoticed; a few more drunk bullies get stomped - so far, so good. He makes it to Port Angeles (on everyone's day-off) & uses his lazer / lightening breath to blast the factory that's been vexing the peninsula for decades with mutagenic pollutants.
The town is happy about it. [Movie loses credibility.] Bela (who is still stuck to a rubbery scale) screams "help me!" a few times & doesn't do much else. [Movie regains credibility.]
Godzilla rampages across the U.S., slaughtering the cruel & the unjust. He suffers a few battle injuries along the way & starts to lose hydration. The smell from the piles of carnage awakens one of Godzilla's former winged enemies - but they're friends, now - who lifts Godzilla & flies him over to The Great Lakes. Godzilla doesn't have much time to rehydrate because there's plenty of butts that need to be kicked, there, too! He teams up with the resident plesiosaur, & they vanquish whoever needs it, & restore Lake Michigan to it's former, pristine, pre-industrial state.
At 3/4 of the way into the movie, Godzilla now makes his way to the Atlantic, for his most epic battle, ever - the Gulf Spill. Godzilla begins his descent into the watery depths, while Bela gets scraped off the scale, & helps to clean up the oil-soaked birds. [Technically, she should have experience with the Exxon Valdez clean-up efforts of 1989. I've decided it would be better that way.] Godzilla welds all of the cracks & holes in the pipes with his magic lazer / electric breath, that causes a minor explosion, releasing sci-fi sea monsters that eat crude & all types of plastic, & convert it to something useful yet rapidly biodegradable.
Now, he turns his reptilian fury upon the corporate scum & the U.S. ultimately loses 65% of it's population, (only the "bad people") destroying any future need for petroleum. The nation goes back to manual labor & everyone goes back to eating healthy food & no one is fat, anymore. All of the assembly-line / sweat-shop jobs return to the nation, & un-employment ceases to exist. Everything is made with wood or plant fiber or metal or glass, & there is no more pollution, criminals or bullies - ever again. The End.
Wasn't that fun?! Ok, it probably sucked as a movie, but it sure was satisfying! No snark, no smut, no unintelligible whispery dialog, lots of action & things getting done. Yay! But, since I can't have that wish come true, I'm happy with increased tourism $$ to the area.