i am climbing to the top of the rope being chased by the fire coming faster than i can climb...
so i have decided that because i am the kind of person who is a caretaker, and who gets attached very quickly and who has been left in the dust pretty much every time i become involved with anyone in any sort of a relationship type of way... i am going to just be alone for the rest of my life.
no one seems to be able to handle my intensity nor can they understand my deep emotions. i feel unnapreciated and unwanted. i feel as if i have so many friends and no one that i can trust to stick around.
maybe i do push people away.
maybe i do cause people to run from me...
but fuck it.
i refuse to change because other people do not have their shit straight. i know who i am and i know what i want. i am not willing to compromise anything about myself in order to have a relationship with someone who is less interrested or just not as ready as i am.
it feels like i am 19 years old and at the end of my rope...with fire coming up the bottom end...
i have nowhere to go and yet so many options.
i do not want to be here...
but when i think about being anywhere else it scares the hell out of me. my family is here...my base...and i want to get away so bad but when i think of how much i depend on them and how much they depend on me it is heartbreaking to think that i would not be there to keep that balance.
i feel like i have all of these girls who are interrested...and then bam...its like they lose all interrest in me...what am i? a child's toy that they just get sick of and throw back into the pile just to choose another.
fuck it
no one seems to be able to handle my intensity nor can they understand my deep emotions. i feel unnapreciated and unwanted. i feel as if i have so many friends and no one that i can trust to stick around.
maybe i do push people away.
maybe i do cause people to run from me...
but fuck it.
i refuse to change because other people do not have their shit straight. i know who i am and i know what i want. i am not willing to compromise anything about myself in order to have a relationship with someone who is less interrested or just not as ready as i am.
it feels like i am 19 years old and at the end of my rope...with fire coming up the bottom end...
i have nowhere to go and yet so many options.
i do not want to be here...
but when i think about being anywhere else it scares the hell out of me. my family is here...my base...and i want to get away so bad but when i think of how much i depend on them and how much they depend on me it is heartbreaking to think that i would not be there to keep that balance.
i feel like i have all of these girls who are interrested...and then bam...its like they lose all interrest in me...what am i? a child's toy that they just get sick of and throw back into the pile just to choose another.
fuck it