Pralines and Dick. J2, NC-17.
aldehyde and me on Jensen at JIB on el twitter:
@cosmicomelette: Photo: he looks like a megadouche with this beret, but still hella gorgeous byo-shin: http://tumblr.com/xus231nk8m.
@the13thchapter: if i saw him on the street, i would totally be all "who is that hot douchebag? he looks like an ASSHOLE but i would do him."
@cosmicomelette: that would be my thought process exactly
So I wrote her this story. Um, I wrote it in like an hour and a half and it's unbetaed.
Title: Pralines and Dick
Genre: J2 AU. PWP.
Words: ~1500
Disclaimer: HAPPENED ONLY IN MY BRAIN.
They meet in a bar.
It’s cliché, sure, but that’s what bars are for, right?
Jared is there because he wants to watch a football game that his normal-person cable doesn’t carry. The bar on the corner has the NFL season ticket and Jared’s fantasy team is important to him, okay? Don’t judge. Besides, that’s how he meets Jensen.
(Much later, Jared isn’t really sure what Jensen was there for in the first place, because Jensen hates football. He claims this is because he went to every single football game when he was in high school and developed a loathing for the game.
“And why did you go to every single game?” Jared asks, with a grin, because he totally already knows the answer.
“Because I was a cheerleader,” Jensen says. He isn’t embarrassed. “You know I love to shake my ass.”
“It’s a good ass,” Jared agrees.
“You bet it is, babe.”
Jensen doesn’t really have any shame, probably due to a lifetime of zero negative consequences for acting like a douche.)
Jared has only been in the bar for about half an hour when he’s approached by probably the best-looking guy he’s ever seen. Seriously, this guy looks like he could be on one of those stupid teen TV shows his sister is into, he’s so good-looking. He’s in a sports bar full of guys in jeans and t-shirts, and he’s wearing charcoal gray slacks, a crisp white button-up, this goofy hat like something a newsboy from the 1920s or some shit, and to top it all off, this ridiculous light gray scarf.
He looks like a complete douchebag.
“You’re pretty fucking hot,” the guy says as a greeting.
“What?” Jared asks, brilliantly.
“You’re pretty fucking hot,” he repeats, more slowly this time, enunciating his words.
“What the fuck are you wearing?” Jared asks, since apparently it’s Speak Bluntly to Strangers Day. “It’s like 75 degrees out, and you’re wearing a scarf.”
“It’s in right now.”
“It’s in?”
“Yeah. You’re obviously not into fashion, but it’s okay. I’d do you anyway.”
“Gee, thanks,” Jared says dryly. “Who the fuck are you?”
“Jensen,” Jensen says. “Now, do you want to go fuck or what?”
Jared looks Jensen up and down. On one hand, the guy is obviously a douche. On the other, he's really hot.
“Yeah, okay.”
::
They go back to Jared’s place, because it’s closer. He tells Jensen his name along the way because there is no way he’s hooking up with someone who doesn’t even know his name. The sight of his own messy living room isn’t much of a turn-on, but then Jensen starts removes his stupid scarf and stupid hat and starts unbuttoning his shirt.
“Jesus Christ you’re hot,” Jared says.
Jensen just smirks like he’s already well-aware of that fact.
“You’re pretty hot yourself, Jared,” Jensen says. “I am really looking forward to fucking you.”
Jared wants to protest for a moment because he isn’t usually into getting fucked, but then Jensen unbuttons his slacks. He isn’t wearing any underwear and his dick, which is just beginning to perk up, is just as pretty as the rest of him. And Jared thinks, yeah, okay, I can get on board with this.
“Your cock is as big as the rest of you, right?” Jensen asks. Not waiting for an answer, he grabs at Jared’s button fly and reaches in. He makes an approving sound at what he finds.
“Do I meet your approval?” Jared asks, trying to sound laconic but mostly failing as Jensen gently pulls Jared’s dick out of his underwear.
“Oh yeah,” Jensen says happily, falling to his knees. And okay, Jensen might be an asshole, but fuck if the sight of that mouth wrapping around his dick isn’t pretty much the hottest thing Jared’s ever seen
Jensen can’t get nearly all of Jared’s dick in his mouth - he’s obviously a pretty practiced in the art of the blow job, but even Jensen isn’t that good - but he makes good use of his hands and saliva and his fucking tongue, humming and getting all slopping and just really fucking going for it. Jared runs his fingers through Jensen’s short hair, holding on the best he can as Jensen face fucks himself on Jared’s dick. He keeps his eyes wide open and focused on Jared’s face the whole time.
Jared comes with a literal bang, slamming his head back into the wall.
“Holy fucking shit ow,” he cries out.
Jensen isn’t even really attempting to swallow all of Jared’s come, lets it drip down his chin and onto the floor, which is hot because Jared is beginning to think that everything Jensen does is hot, and gross because Jared is going to have to clean it up later.
“I hope you’re okay,” Jensen says, standing up. He’s naked and apparently lacking in any self-consciousness about it. His dick is hard and red and Jared kind of wants to get down on his own knees now, but he knows that would ruin Jensen’s plans for him. “Because I’m still planning on fucking you.”
“I’m okay,” Jared says, weakly.
“Awesome. Where’s the bedroom?”
Jared nods toward the closed door, and Jensen grabs a belt loop on Jared’s jeans, which are now midway around his thighs, and tugs him in that direction. Jared wobbles and nearly trips over his own feet, but somehow manages to make it to through the door before he falls, landing halfway on the bed.
“Damn,” Jared says, finally managing to kick off his shoes and jeans as Jensen pulls off his t-shirt.
“Mmm mmm,” Jensen says appreciatively. He leans in to suck at Jared’s left nipple. “You really are fucking hot. So glad I found you, Jared.”
“Yeah,” Jared agrees stupidly. Hey, he just had an orgasm following by what might be a concussion, he’s allowed to be stupid. Plus, he loves having his nipples played with.
“Turn over,” Jensen tells him. “Hands and knees.”
Jared obeys, and Jensen pats him on the back.
“So good,” he says, approvingly, and Jared shivers. His dick begins to twitch again.
“Your ass is fantastic,” Jensen says. “I mean, fantastic. And I know about awesome asses, trust me, I have a gorgeous one myself.”
“Yeah, you do,” Jared agrees, because he’s on his hands and knees for the guy and hell, it’s true.
Jensen clearly doesn’t like to waste time when it comes to fucking. He finds some lube in Jared’s drawer - he’s got his own condoms - and in no time he’s stroking his fingers gently around Jared’s hole, loosening the tight muscle carefully and methodically.
“You let guys do this to you often?” Jensen asks as he finally pushes in a single, lube-covered finger.
Jared shakes his head.
“Oh, I’m special, huh?” he asks, and Jared doesn’t have to be able to see him to hear the grin in his voice.
“Yeah, I guess,” Jared says.
“Hmmm,” Jensen says. He’s clearly pleased with himself - when isn’t he pleased with himself, that’s what Jared wants to know - but he doesn’t follow up the question. Instead he changes his tactics.
“I’m gonna fuck you so hard, Jared,” Jensen promises. “You’re gonna be seeing stars. God, I can’t wait to get my dick in your ass, you’re so fucking tight, fuck. You’re going to come so hard you’re going to pass out, jesus Christ, Jared.”
Jared wants to laugh at the bad porn dirty talk, but rhythm Jensen sets with his fingers is no joke, and it’s no time before he’s sweating and breathing hard and so on edge he’s practically on the verge of begging Jensen to fuck him, but if there’s one thing that guy doesn’t need, it’s people begging him for sex.
And then Jensen’s pushing in. Jared holds his breath, his arms shaking he grips onto the headboard of his bed.
“So tight, Christ,” Jensen mutters.
“Come on, fuck me,” Jared finally grunts out, can’t stop himself any longer.
And Jensen does, fucks Jared with short, powerful strokes, so hard that the bed slams against the wall, probably pissing off the neighbors. Like Jared really cares, like he cares about anything with Jensen behind him, his arms wrapped around Jared’s body, his mouth sucking kisses on the curve of Jared’s neck, fucking him into next week.
Jared has his head thrown back onto Jensen’s shoulders, his thoughts barely coherent, when Jensen reaches around and starts jerking him off.
He comes for the second time almost as an afterthought, shaking and moaning, his eyes rolling up into his skull, the muscles in his feet contracting, and immediately after, there’s the sudden sharp pain of Jensen’s teeth latching onto his shoulder as he comes as well.
Jensen slides out, and Jared flops down onto the bed, his arms and legs spread wide, breathing heavily. Beside him, Jensen rolls over. Jensen can hear his footsteps on the hardwood floor as he goes to throw away the condom.
“We’ll do this again sometime,” Jensen says.
“Okay,” Jared says, his voice muffled by the bedspread. “Just let me know when.”
@cosmicomelette: Photo: he looks like a megadouche with this beret, but still hella gorgeous byo-shin: http://tumblr.com/xus231nk8m.
@the13thchapter: if i saw him on the street, i would totally be all "who is that hot douchebag? he looks like an ASSHOLE but i would do him."
@cosmicomelette: that would be my thought process exactly
So I wrote her this story. Um, I wrote it in like an hour and a half and it's unbetaed.
Title: Pralines and Dick
Genre: J2 AU. PWP.
Words: ~1500
Disclaimer: HAPPENED ONLY IN MY BRAIN.
They meet in a bar.
It’s cliché, sure, but that’s what bars are for, right?
Jared is there because he wants to watch a football game that his normal-person cable doesn’t carry. The bar on the corner has the NFL season ticket and Jared’s fantasy team is important to him, okay? Don’t judge. Besides, that’s how he meets Jensen.
(Much later, Jared isn’t really sure what Jensen was there for in the first place, because Jensen hates football. He claims this is because he went to every single football game when he was in high school and developed a loathing for the game.
“And why did you go to every single game?” Jared asks, with a grin, because he totally already knows the answer.
“Because I was a cheerleader,” Jensen says. He isn’t embarrassed. “You know I love to shake my ass.”
“It’s a good ass,” Jared agrees.
“You bet it is, babe.”
Jensen doesn’t really have any shame, probably due to a lifetime of zero negative consequences for acting like a douche.)
Jared has only been in the bar for about half an hour when he’s approached by probably the best-looking guy he’s ever seen. Seriously, this guy looks like he could be on one of those stupid teen TV shows his sister is into, he’s so good-looking. He’s in a sports bar full of guys in jeans and t-shirts, and he’s wearing charcoal gray slacks, a crisp white button-up, this goofy hat like something a newsboy from the 1920s or some shit, and to top it all off, this ridiculous light gray scarf.
He looks like a complete douchebag.
“You’re pretty fucking hot,” the guy says as a greeting.
“What?” Jared asks, brilliantly.
“You’re pretty fucking hot,” he repeats, more slowly this time, enunciating his words.
“What the fuck are you wearing?” Jared asks, since apparently it’s Speak Bluntly to Strangers Day. “It’s like 75 degrees out, and you’re wearing a scarf.”
“It’s in right now.”
“It’s in?”
“Yeah. You’re obviously not into fashion, but it’s okay. I’d do you anyway.”
“Gee, thanks,” Jared says dryly. “Who the fuck are you?”
“Jensen,” Jensen says. “Now, do you want to go fuck or what?”
Jared looks Jensen up and down. On one hand, the guy is obviously a douche. On the other, he's really hot.
“Yeah, okay.”
::
They go back to Jared’s place, because it’s closer. He tells Jensen his name along the way because there is no way he’s hooking up with someone who doesn’t even know his name. The sight of his own messy living room isn’t much of a turn-on, but then Jensen starts removes his stupid scarf and stupid hat and starts unbuttoning his shirt.
“Jesus Christ you’re hot,” Jared says.
Jensen just smirks like he’s already well-aware of that fact.
“You’re pretty hot yourself, Jared,” Jensen says. “I am really looking forward to fucking you.”
Jared wants to protest for a moment because he isn’t usually into getting fucked, but then Jensen unbuttons his slacks. He isn’t wearing any underwear and his dick, which is just beginning to perk up, is just as pretty as the rest of him. And Jared thinks, yeah, okay, I can get on board with this.
“Your cock is as big as the rest of you, right?” Jensen asks. Not waiting for an answer, he grabs at Jared’s button fly and reaches in. He makes an approving sound at what he finds.
“Do I meet your approval?” Jared asks, trying to sound laconic but mostly failing as Jensen gently pulls Jared’s dick out of his underwear.
“Oh yeah,” Jensen says happily, falling to his knees. And okay, Jensen might be an asshole, but fuck if the sight of that mouth wrapping around his dick isn’t pretty much the hottest thing Jared’s ever seen
Jensen can’t get nearly all of Jared’s dick in his mouth - he’s obviously a pretty practiced in the art of the blow job, but even Jensen isn’t that good - but he makes good use of his hands and saliva and his fucking tongue, humming and getting all slopping and just really fucking going for it. Jared runs his fingers through Jensen’s short hair, holding on the best he can as Jensen face fucks himself on Jared’s dick. He keeps his eyes wide open and focused on Jared’s face the whole time.
Jared comes with a literal bang, slamming his head back into the wall.
“Holy fucking shit ow,” he cries out.
Jensen isn’t even really attempting to swallow all of Jared’s come, lets it drip down his chin and onto the floor, which is hot because Jared is beginning to think that everything Jensen does is hot, and gross because Jared is going to have to clean it up later.
“I hope you’re okay,” Jensen says, standing up. He’s naked and apparently lacking in any self-consciousness about it. His dick is hard and red and Jared kind of wants to get down on his own knees now, but he knows that would ruin Jensen’s plans for him. “Because I’m still planning on fucking you.”
“I’m okay,” Jared says, weakly.
“Awesome. Where’s the bedroom?”
Jared nods toward the closed door, and Jensen grabs a belt loop on Jared’s jeans, which are now midway around his thighs, and tugs him in that direction. Jared wobbles and nearly trips over his own feet, but somehow manages to make it to through the door before he falls, landing halfway on the bed.
“Damn,” Jared says, finally managing to kick off his shoes and jeans as Jensen pulls off his t-shirt.
“Mmm mmm,” Jensen says appreciatively. He leans in to suck at Jared’s left nipple. “You really are fucking hot. So glad I found you, Jared.”
“Yeah,” Jared agrees stupidly. Hey, he just had an orgasm following by what might be a concussion, he’s allowed to be stupid. Plus, he loves having his nipples played with.
“Turn over,” Jensen tells him. “Hands and knees.”
Jared obeys, and Jensen pats him on the back.
“So good,” he says, approvingly, and Jared shivers. His dick begins to twitch again.
“Your ass is fantastic,” Jensen says. “I mean, fantastic. And I know about awesome asses, trust me, I have a gorgeous one myself.”
“Yeah, you do,” Jared agrees, because he’s on his hands and knees for the guy and hell, it’s true.
Jensen clearly doesn’t like to waste time when it comes to fucking. He finds some lube in Jared’s drawer - he’s got his own condoms - and in no time he’s stroking his fingers gently around Jared’s hole, loosening the tight muscle carefully and methodically.
“You let guys do this to you often?” Jensen asks as he finally pushes in a single, lube-covered finger.
Jared shakes his head.
“Oh, I’m special, huh?” he asks, and Jared doesn’t have to be able to see him to hear the grin in his voice.
“Yeah, I guess,” Jared says.
“Hmmm,” Jensen says. He’s clearly pleased with himself - when isn’t he pleased with himself, that’s what Jared wants to know - but he doesn’t follow up the question. Instead he changes his tactics.
“I’m gonna fuck you so hard, Jared,” Jensen promises. “You’re gonna be seeing stars. God, I can’t wait to get my dick in your ass, you’re so fucking tight, fuck. You’re going to come so hard you’re going to pass out, jesus Christ, Jared.”
Jared wants to laugh at the bad porn dirty talk, but rhythm Jensen sets with his fingers is no joke, and it’s no time before he’s sweating and breathing hard and so on edge he’s practically on the verge of begging Jensen to fuck him, but if there’s one thing that guy doesn’t need, it’s people begging him for sex.
And then Jensen’s pushing in. Jared holds his breath, his arms shaking he grips onto the headboard of his bed.
“So tight, Christ,” Jensen mutters.
“Come on, fuck me,” Jared finally grunts out, can’t stop himself any longer.
And Jensen does, fucks Jared with short, powerful strokes, so hard that the bed slams against the wall, probably pissing off the neighbors. Like Jared really cares, like he cares about anything with Jensen behind him, his arms wrapped around Jared’s body, his mouth sucking kisses on the curve of Jared’s neck, fucking him into next week.
Jared has his head thrown back onto Jensen’s shoulders, his thoughts barely coherent, when Jensen reaches around and starts jerking him off.
He comes for the second time almost as an afterthought, shaking and moaning, his eyes rolling up into his skull, the muscles in his feet contracting, and immediately after, there’s the sudden sharp pain of Jensen’s teeth latching onto his shoulder as he comes as well.
Jensen slides out, and Jared flops down onto the bed, his arms and legs spread wide, breathing heavily. Beside him, Jensen rolls over. Jensen can hear his footsteps on the hardwood floor as he goes to throw away the condom.
“We’ll do this again sometime,” Jensen says.
“Okay,” Jared says, his voice muffled by the bedspread. “Just let me know when.”