Close encounters of the squirrel kind
I had a crazy squirrel experience yesterday morning. I went to the front door to let the cat in and I heard this really weird noise in the yard. One of the cats was looking up an evergreen tree we have in the front yard and the noise kept getting more insistent (sort of a squeaky panicked yellish noise). I kept calling the cat because obviously, something was in distress out there and I didn't want him agitating it further. The cat came in when half an apricot was dropped on him from the tree. The noise kept on though as apparently whatever was in the tree was now pissed that it lost its breakfast. So I walked quietly out in the yard and up to the tree.
The branches are pretty dense so I couldn't see anything and had to keep going closer to the tree, all the while trying to see what was making that awful noise. I expected to see some big bird up there or something but I had to get all the way up to the trunk almost and look up into the area around the trunk where the leaves are thin to see what it was. Imagine my shock when I got close enough and looked up to see, not a bird, but a squirrel up there clinging to the trunk with front and back paws. He was lined up along the trunk, face down so I was looking up directly into his face. I looked at him and said, "Oh!" He was suddenly completely silent and looked back at me with bared sharp squirrel teeth, appearing for all the world that he was about to charge headfirst down the trunk of the tree and attack me...or worse yet, just jump out of the tree and hurl his tiny furry body with its no doubt razor-sharp claws and teeth onto my face. I have no idea how brave and/or evil squirrels are or how deadly an aerial attack from one might be, so I just said, "All right. It's okay. Cat's inside now." And--not betraying the sudden worry I developed that a squirrel might have no qualms about unethically attacking an unarmed woman from behind--I calmly walked back inside the house. And locked the door. Just in case. Because that squirrel looked pretty calculating.
The branches are pretty dense so I couldn't see anything and had to keep going closer to the tree, all the while trying to see what was making that awful noise. I expected to see some big bird up there or something but I had to get all the way up to the trunk almost and look up into the area around the trunk where the leaves are thin to see what it was. Imagine my shock when I got close enough and looked up to see, not a bird, but a squirrel up there clinging to the trunk with front and back paws. He was lined up along the trunk, face down so I was looking up directly into his face. I looked at him and said, "Oh!" He was suddenly completely silent and looked back at me with bared sharp squirrel teeth, appearing for all the world that he was about to charge headfirst down the trunk of the tree and attack me...or worse yet, just jump out of the tree and hurl his tiny furry body with its no doubt razor-sharp claws and teeth onto my face. I have no idea how brave and/or evil squirrels are or how deadly an aerial attack from one might be, so I just said, "All right. It's okay. Cat's inside now." And--not betraying the sudden worry I developed that a squirrel might have no qualms about unethically attacking an unarmed woman from behind--I calmly walked back inside the house. And locked the door. Just in case. Because that squirrel looked pretty calculating.