observation

[13_moons]

It's almost the new moon. I think over the last several cycles of the moon, I have been really affected by the new moon more strongly than in the past. I've always been able to connect both my mood and hormonal changes with her cycles, but generally the full moon has a markedly more noticeable influence than the new. Not necessarily so more

Comments

[owens_mom]

I get scared, focusing inward. I mean, I feel like I really start to spiral into a weird place and if I let myself fall, I'll become a non-existent parent and spouse. Like I have to take forceful steps away from the edge.

[13_moons]

I totally get that. I mean, I think it is a good thing to focus inwards sometimes as we need that too, but the difficulty is finding the balance. I guess we need to find a way to nurture that need without letting it consume us?

I always describe it to myself as feeling like I'm sinking. Some days I'm pretty afloat and just a bit under and it isn't so difficult to get out of the water but then other days I am completely sunk and it's hard as hell with all that water pressure above you to come back up.

There are positive aspects to it though too and I just don't know how to separate and honor that without being dragged down by the rest.

[owens_mom]

I think with the way our lives are now we don't have time for it. Really, I mean, it could take days, I think, and I don't have 3 or 4 days to sit and meditate and draw and write and get things sorted and brought to life. Even trying it for an hour or 2, you are still holding on to the edge of the boat with one hand for safety.

[13_moons]

You are right of course but I hate having to accept that. When is it my turn?

[owens_mom]

were we supposed to be wise enough to realize what we needed at 18, when we had the time? Feck. Is this something satisfied by a spiritual experience with others? I can't imagine it. Are there any books on ritual and honoring the moon in her different phases?

[13_moons]

I don't know, but I was too busy recognizing different hormonal needs at 18. I think that if you can feel that spiritual connection around or with others, then sure it could satisfied that way. That place we were at this weekend has a lot of group ritual type stuff--maybe you should check something out over there? (We don't have shit like that here-too many fundy churches.;))Anyway, yes, there are lots of books and I think I have about half of them. Some are good, some crap but most at least get "right" what the different phases generally coincide with and stuff.

[owens_mom]

cool. cuz I didn't want the names of them or anything. just wondering.

;p

[13_moons]

Fucker. Let me dig through my stash and see which ones I think are worthwhile. :D

[owens_mom]

I love when you call me dirty names...

[13_moons]

I love it when you icon dirty gestures at me.

[owens_mom]

There is more where that came from...

[13_moons]

Ooh baby.