RP for notsopowerless - Caged Bird Sings
For: notsopowerless
Out of respect, they didn’t put him with the rest of the collars. They put him in his own private holding cell which was a nice thought but did not help at all. Charlie paced back and forth across the ever shrinking space counting out his steps, trying to find a nice peaceful place in his head. Zen wasn’t enough to stand against the crushing weight of panic and familiarity.
He’d been here before and it had just gotten worse. He couldn’t help but think it was going to get worse again, it was going to go bad again and he wasn’t going to go back. If they tried to take him to jail… his eyes swept over the cell looking for anything he could fashion into a weapon.
“Crews.” Reese’s voice at the bars snapped him out of it and he rushed forward to the bars.
“Get me out of here.”
“I’m working on it, but the Feds are…”
He reached through the bars, willing to break their cardinal rule about touching, and grabbed the front of her shirt. “Reese, you have to get me out of here. I can’t.”
She stiffened and pried his hand loose but did something he didn’t expect and held it in her, giving it a confident squeeze. “Tidwell’s working on it and Bodner’s throwing in his weight in. We’ll get you out.”
He breathed a slight sigh of relief but it wasn’t quick enough, wasn’t soon enough. The walls were tight against his back and crushing the years of mental walls. He squeezed her hand.
“I just need a moment,” he said softly. “Just a moment, Reese.”
She looked around, making sure no one was around to see them or hear them. She stepped a bit closer to the bars and squeezed her hand back. “I can give you a moment, Crews.”
He managed a weak smile, holding on to her hand to hold on to the moment and get himself back under control. He could find Zen again with Reese to anchor him. She could push the walls back for him.
“All I needed was a moment,” he said when the panic was manageable. “That’s Zen, isn’t it Reese?”
It wasn’t Zen. Charlie wasn’t good at being Zen in prison anymore. He’d started slipping away from Zen the moment they put him in cuffs. He wasn’t going to find Zen until he got out, got away from the bars and back into the real world.
Until then, he was hanging somewhere in between. He wasn’t a cop, he wasn’t a con, he was just something floating and lost. Reese kept him from completely floating away but he was going to slip without a distraction, without help.
Out of respect, they didn’t put him with the rest of the collars. They put him in his own private holding cell which was a nice thought but did not help at all. Charlie paced back and forth across the ever shrinking space counting out his steps, trying to find a nice peaceful place in his head. Zen wasn’t enough to stand against the crushing weight of panic and familiarity.
He’d been here before and it had just gotten worse. He couldn’t help but think it was going to get worse again, it was going to go bad again and he wasn’t going to go back. If they tried to take him to jail… his eyes swept over the cell looking for anything he could fashion into a weapon.
“Crews.” Reese’s voice at the bars snapped him out of it and he rushed forward to the bars.
“Get me out of here.”
“I’m working on it, but the Feds are…”
He reached through the bars, willing to break their cardinal rule about touching, and grabbed the front of her shirt. “Reese, you have to get me out of here. I can’t.”
She stiffened and pried his hand loose but did something he didn’t expect and held it in her, giving it a confident squeeze. “Tidwell’s working on it and Bodner’s throwing in his weight in. We’ll get you out.”
He breathed a slight sigh of relief but it wasn’t quick enough, wasn’t soon enough. The walls were tight against his back and crushing the years of mental walls. He squeezed her hand.
“I just need a moment,” he said softly. “Just a moment, Reese.”
She looked around, making sure no one was around to see them or hear them. She stepped a bit closer to the bars and squeezed her hand back. “I can give you a moment, Crews.”
He managed a weak smile, holding on to her hand to hold on to the moment and get himself back under control. He could find Zen again with Reese to anchor him. She could push the walls back for him.
“All I needed was a moment,” he said when the panic was manageable. “That’s Zen, isn’t it Reese?”
It wasn’t Zen. Charlie wasn’t good at being Zen in prison anymore. He’d started slipping away from Zen the moment they put him in cuffs. He wasn’t going to find Zen until he got out, got away from the bars and back into the real world.
Until then, he was hanging somewhere in between. He wasn’t a cop, he wasn’t a con, he was just something floating and lost. Reese kept him from completely floating away but he was going to slip without a distraction, without help.