Obligatory App Post
Voting post is here, in with 92.4%.
Character: Mason
Series: Dead Like Me
Character Age: died at 27 (in 1966)
Job: Addictions Counselor
Canon: Dead Like Me tells the largely posthumous story of a girl named George Lass, who was tragically killed by a flaming toilet seat from outerspace. But as very few things about George are normal, rather than 'moving on' she learns that she is to become a Grim Reaper, taking the souls of other people before they die. Her first mentor for this morbid assignment is Mason.
Unfortunately, Mason is not a particularly good mentor. In fact, Mason isn't particularly good for anything, unless you want to know where to score the best crack. A druggie alcoholic burnout, Mason tends to fail miserably at everything he tries, especially staying clean. Not the sort of person you'd want to depend on, Mason is bumbling and sloppy, rude and whiny when things don't go his way. Despite technically being in his 60s, Mason behaves like a child fairly often, pouting and arguing and being generally immature. He rambles and bullshits and has terrible taste in undergarments. He is, however, a devoted friend and a fairly dedicated worker --and if he can happen to score some cash or a place to stay off the dead body, those are just fringe benefits. Seriously, though, there's a heart of gold and occasional eloquence underneath all the booze and body odor, it just takes its sweet time showing itself.
...but seeing as he killed himself by drilling a hole in his head, we probably shouldn't expect rocket science from the man.
Sample App:
I am so viciously fucked. Also late. Very late for my reap-------ahahaha, hello! I meant my appointment. There's a meeting, Addicts Anonymous, and I'm late. And it's very important that I'm there, so I should be going. Not that I'm an addict, no, I'm the--what do they call the person in charge--the counselor!
What? I definitely, totally, absolutely am a bloody counselor. I'm supposed to be teaching people things, like how to examine their past mistakes and make amend---wait a minute. We don't have to do me too, do we? Because then I'd have to tell the story about the time I supplemented my income with those balloons filled with the nice white powder. That was definitely a mistake; you should always double bag, kids. Not that I'm telling that story, it wouldn't reflect very well on me as group leader.
No, no, I said I'm not an addict. Drugs are bad, very very bad. They discourage hygiene and they turn you funny colors and they make it impossible to do paperwork, so you can't hold down a job, and then there's the way that they make your fingers all numb and tingly, very bad for filing. You shouldn't do drugs. Unless you want to be all numb and tingly, and if it's just your fingers then you didn't do enough. But drugs are bad and illegal, not good at all--no, I won't give you any, it's bad, weren't you listening? You should look into having your ears cleaned, mate. And your teeth brushed, your breath is bloody terrible. It reminds me of this girl I met down in California that one time who worked at a popsicle stand. She blew like---urk. I'm sorry. I didn't know she was your cousin. Please put me down. Please? If we could just skip the hurty painy bit, that would be much appreciated.
...or we could do the hurty part. Why does everyone always want to do the hurty part? That's going to leave such a bruise. I'm like a peach, you know, soft and delicate and just a little fuzzy. But not fuzzy enough, after you and the roughing up and all. Do you know where I could get a drink? Just something to take the edge off, I'm all edges right now. Sharp ones. In fact, I'm nearly edgy, you should really be afraid of me.
That's right! I'm smart and cunning and I haven't showered today, so my headlock will be something brutal. Or maybe it was the day before yesterday, or last week? I know I showered last week. Anyway, brutal. I'll give you the old one-two, one-two-four... no wait. One-two-three, yeah, just li-----
Ow. I think I made a wee from all the ow. Now I'll have to change my trousers before work.
... I don't even own another pair of trousers. Bollocks.
Character: Mason
Series: Dead Like Me
Character Age: died at 27 (in 1966)
Job: Addictions Counselor
Canon: Dead Like Me tells the largely posthumous story of a girl named George Lass, who was tragically killed by a flaming toilet seat from outerspace. But as very few things about George are normal, rather than 'moving on' she learns that she is to become a Grim Reaper, taking the souls of other people before they die. Her first mentor for this morbid assignment is Mason.
Unfortunately, Mason is not a particularly good mentor. In fact, Mason isn't particularly good for anything, unless you want to know where to score the best crack. A druggie alcoholic burnout, Mason tends to fail miserably at everything he tries, especially staying clean. Not the sort of person you'd want to depend on, Mason is bumbling and sloppy, rude and whiny when things don't go his way. Despite technically being in his 60s, Mason behaves like a child fairly often, pouting and arguing and being generally immature. He rambles and bullshits and has terrible taste in undergarments. He is, however, a devoted friend and a fairly dedicated worker --and if he can happen to score some cash or a place to stay off the dead body, those are just fringe benefits. Seriously, though, there's a heart of gold and occasional eloquence underneath all the booze and body odor, it just takes its sweet time showing itself.
...but seeing as he killed himself by drilling a hole in his head, we probably shouldn't expect rocket science from the man.
Sample App:
I am so viciously fucked. Also late. Very late for my reap-------ahahaha, hello! I meant my appointment. There's a meeting, Addicts Anonymous, and I'm late. And it's very important that I'm there, so I should be going. Not that I'm an addict, no, I'm the--what do they call the person in charge--the counselor!
What? I definitely, totally, absolutely am a bloody counselor. I'm supposed to be teaching people things, like how to examine their past mistakes and make amend---wait a minute. We don't have to do me too, do we? Because then I'd have to tell the story about the time I supplemented my income with those balloons filled with the nice white powder. That was definitely a mistake; you should always double bag, kids. Not that I'm telling that story, it wouldn't reflect very well on me as group leader.
No, no, I said I'm not an addict. Drugs are bad, very very bad. They discourage hygiene and they turn you funny colors and they make it impossible to do paperwork, so you can't hold down a job, and then there's the way that they make your fingers all numb and tingly, very bad for filing. You shouldn't do drugs. Unless you want to be all numb and tingly, and if it's just your fingers then you didn't do enough. But drugs are bad and illegal, not good at all--no, I won't give you any, it's bad, weren't you listening? You should look into having your ears cleaned, mate. And your teeth brushed, your breath is bloody terrible. It reminds me of this girl I met down in California that one time who worked at a popsicle stand. She blew like---urk. I'm sorry. I didn't know she was your cousin. Please put me down. Please? If we could just skip the hurty painy bit, that would be much appreciated.
...or we could do the hurty part. Why does everyone always want to do the hurty part? That's going to leave such a bruise. I'm like a peach, you know, soft and delicate and just a little fuzzy. But not fuzzy enough, after you and the roughing up and all. Do you know where I could get a drink? Just something to take the edge off, I'm all edges right now. Sharp ones. In fact, I'm nearly edgy, you should really be afraid of me.
That's right! I'm smart and cunning and I haven't showered today, so my headlock will be something brutal. Or maybe it was the day before yesterday, or last week? I know I showered last week. Anyway, brutal. I'll give you the old one-two, one-two-four... no wait. One-two-three, yeah, just li-----
Ow. I think I made a wee from all the ow. Now I'll have to change my trousers before work.
... I don't even own another pair of trousers. Bollocks.