♥
I think the reason that I am so shielded from so many things in this world, the reason I can hide behind what is perceived as naivety, is because I’m a true believer in true love. Not the “aww, that’s so cute,” kind of he’s-holding-her-hand love, but the kind of love that likes to pretend it’s not love to see if people believe in it, and would be willing to, on a whim of the soul, search for and find for themselves. I mean, sure, people here are constantly PDA-ing and taking long walks and children give Eskimo kisses and chase each other around the playground and even at young ages are, for some reason they don’t know, compelled to hide in the bushes with their crush and feel vaguely happy that they are alone and older people count each other’s wrinkles and are still as in love as they were when they first got married, but the world is still imperfect. People lie and have sex and never call again. Maybe to some this would make me a complete radical, but so many of the things you see today called “love” is just a commercial joke. (And no, I’m not just realizing that now and I accept that’s not my own original thought.) The only thing I’d want from an impossibly ideal world would be pure, relentless, merciless love. This kind of love I believe in makes me incredulous when two people who are supposed to be “in love” don’t grab each other every time they see each other and kiss, hard. What kind of love is “love” where no one is willing to chase after each other?, because no one chases after each other anymore. Why does no one chase after each other? From where I’m standing that’s what you’re supposed to do out of devotion, desire, desperation. Love should be obsession, because obsession isn’t crazy, it’s human, it’s vulnerability. Why aren’t people honest, why don’t they tell their love every time they see them how they felt this amazing unexplainable swelling and expanding in their chest when the sun hit them at a certain angle, illuminating them from behind?
You are all so willing to settle, and it makes me oh so sad.
Oh god, I hope for all of your sakes that you never fall in love with someone who wouldn’t chase after you. You don’t deserve that. That isn’t what’s real.