(no subject)
Okay so I know that I dont' update this often, but I felt like I needed too. If you don't want to read a rant, then just stop now.
So I started a huge fight with the family tonight. It started when I got the call from CM about the two-hour delay. First, she (Heather) yells at me to come get my phone because it is ringing. So I get tmy phone and go into the computer room with it and then she yells at me becuase I am "talking too loud", when I wasn't, and "being annoying". So like I normally do, I just brush it off and go into the kitchen and get my hot chocolate and finish up my conversation with CM. I go back into the family room to watch Ray with my Dad and Heather. I tell Heather about the two-hour delay and she begin yelling at me again. So I just sit there quietly and watch the movie until the part where his little brother dies becuase I can't watch that sceen. So I go to put my dirty dishes in the dish washer and come back and the movie is stopped because Heather's on her phone. I ask why we can stop the movie for her but not for me when I am on the phone and she proceeds to ask me why I would "ever ask that question". That's where I lost it. I guess all the pressure from school and parents and guidence and SAT stuff and boys and Valentine's Day and everything I have been feeling for the past few weeks all burst out. I ask her why she is always so rude to me and say that I don't deserve it. SHe asnwers by denying it all. I go to the computer and get online hopeing that someone will talk to me to get my mind off of it, and tat doesn't happen. Then my Dad hears the noise apparently and comes down and starts yelling at me to stop "yelling" at Heather. Then, with all the anger that I basically had in me, I start telling him how I have been feeling. About how from where I am standing, Heather never seems to get punished and how it isn't fair that she is allowed to talk to me in such a disrespectful way. He then tells me that I am not being civil about it and I just lose it. I start crying and asking him why he is acting like this. He then ushers me upstair where we go into his room to talk with my mother. I tell her what I told him, still crying, and tell her what Heather has said to me and how this has been going on for a while. She says that I am wrong and me, being so pisses off, give her some smart ass answer back. She tells me to go get my license and give it to her becuase I have just lost it for a month. I willingly go get it becacuse in the state I am in, I see it as a fine sacrifice. I come back up with it and she tells me that she doesn't want it, which I find odd, and then asks what they can to to "make the situation better". All I say is that I think Heather needs to be punished like I was when I talked to then like that. And by this point I am calming down. All of the sudden, I hear an "are you kidding me?!" from downstairs. Heather. I lose it again and yell, "See! This is what she is like to me when you aren't around." Thy call her up and I storm downstairs. I don't know what they said to her. And that is where I am now.
I guess I sound like the worst sister and the biggest bitch in the world right now. I didn't mean to freak out like that. I just kind og happened. I feel really bad about it, adn knwo that she probably wont' talk to me ever agin. I dind't want that to happen. I want her to know that I love her, but she won't listen. So, I just lost a friend I guess.
That's all I have to say.
So I started a huge fight with the family tonight. It started when I got the call from CM about the two-hour delay. First, she (Heather) yells at me to come get my phone because it is ringing. So I get tmy phone and go into the computer room with it and then she yells at me becuase I am "talking too loud", when I wasn't, and "being annoying". So like I normally do, I just brush it off and go into the kitchen and get my hot chocolate and finish up my conversation with CM. I go back into the family room to watch Ray with my Dad and Heather. I tell Heather about the two-hour delay and she begin yelling at me again. So I just sit there quietly and watch the movie until the part where his little brother dies becuase I can't watch that sceen. So I go to put my dirty dishes in the dish washer and come back and the movie is stopped because Heather's on her phone. I ask why we can stop the movie for her but not for me when I am on the phone and she proceeds to ask me why I would "ever ask that question". That's where I lost it. I guess all the pressure from school and parents and guidence and SAT stuff and boys and Valentine's Day and everything I have been feeling for the past few weeks all burst out. I ask her why she is always so rude to me and say that I don't deserve it. SHe asnwers by denying it all. I go to the computer and get online hopeing that someone will talk to me to get my mind off of it, and tat doesn't happen. Then my Dad hears the noise apparently and comes down and starts yelling at me to stop "yelling" at Heather. Then, with all the anger that I basically had in me, I start telling him how I have been feeling. About how from where I am standing, Heather never seems to get punished and how it isn't fair that she is allowed to talk to me in such a disrespectful way. He then tells me that I am not being civil about it and I just lose it. I start crying and asking him why he is acting like this. He then ushers me upstair where we go into his room to talk with my mother. I tell her what I told him, still crying, and tell her what Heather has said to me and how this has been going on for a while. She says that I am wrong and me, being so pisses off, give her some smart ass answer back. She tells me to go get my license and give it to her becuase I have just lost it for a month. I willingly go get it becacuse in the state I am in, I see it as a fine sacrifice. I come back up with it and she tells me that she doesn't want it, which I find odd, and then asks what they can to to "make the situation better". All I say is that I think Heather needs to be punished like I was when I talked to then like that. And by this point I am calming down. All of the sudden, I hear an "are you kidding me?!" from downstairs. Heather. I lose it again and yell, "See! This is what she is like to me when you aren't around." Thy call her up and I storm downstairs. I don't know what they said to her. And that is where I am now.
I guess I sound like the worst sister and the biggest bitch in the world right now. I didn't mean to freak out like that. I just kind og happened. I feel really bad about it, adn knwo that she probably wont' talk to me ever agin. I dind't want that to happen. I want her to know that I love her, but she won't listen. So, I just lost a friend I guess.
That's all I have to say.