(no subject)
I was driving to Wareham (once again) at 6:45 this morning, listening to soda fountain classics (once again) with these tears coming down my face (once again).
Except I was crying not because I was sad, I was yesterday... but today is different.
I don't know why I was.
This has all been so emotionally exhaustingly but I'll be fucking damned if it brings me down.
I've gone threw too much, I know better & I am fucking FABULOUS.
The past three years I do not regret,
I am going to embrace them and the extreme emotions that have erupted inside of me.
I am turning this all into a positive, I can't believe and I don't understand how this has happened.
I know what I want to be when I grow up.
I literally saw my future.
I know what I was meant to be and it is something bigger than any fucking guy I have ever dated will ever be & I don't even have to be in a rock'n roll band to make it happen because I am actually doing something with my life for the right reasons.
I am going to be known for my knowledge & insight & my perceptive ways & I'll be damned if I do anything but let this experience make me that much stronger of a woman.
I am so much better than anything and everything I have ever let myself think I was equal to.
I want people to look at wish they could be as strong of a person as I am.
You guys have no idea, no fucking idea.
Aaaahhh!
I have so much more to say but I have wasted too much time already.
I'm getting myself an education and a fucking promising future.
I have everything I need inside of me to make this happen and you could only wish you had the same.
I don't doubt I loved Matt Burke,
I don't doubt that Matt Burke loves me (and her) in whatever twisted sort of way he loves people,
but my idea of who he was is extremely different from who he really is.
He has a problem, a really big problem & I hope he gets the help he needs.
I hope it isn't too late for him to understand his mind & for him to feel the want to overcome the monster in his head.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I feel so fucking good.
Love LIFE!
Always always always stronger than yesterday.
Except I was crying not because I was sad, I was yesterday... but today is different.
I don't know why I was.
This has all been so emotionally exhaustingly but I'll be fucking damned if it brings me down.
I've gone threw too much, I know better & I am fucking FABULOUS.
The past three years I do not regret,
I am going to embrace them and the extreme emotions that have erupted inside of me.
I am turning this all into a positive, I can't believe and I don't understand how this has happened.
I know what I want to be when I grow up.
I literally saw my future.
I know what I was meant to be and it is something bigger than any fucking guy I have ever dated will ever be & I don't even have to be in a rock'n roll band to make it happen because I am actually doing something with my life for the right reasons.
I am going to be known for my knowledge & insight & my perceptive ways & I'll be damned if I do anything but let this experience make me that much stronger of a woman.
I am so much better than anything and everything I have ever let myself think I was equal to.
I want people to look at wish they could be as strong of a person as I am.
You guys have no idea, no fucking idea.
Aaaahhh!
I have so much more to say but I have wasted too much time already.
I'm getting myself an education and a fucking promising future.
I have everything I need inside of me to make this happen and you could only wish you had the same.
I don't doubt I loved Matt Burke,
I don't doubt that Matt Burke loves me (and her) in whatever twisted sort of way he loves people,
but my idea of who he was is extremely different from who he really is.
He has a problem, a really big problem & I hope he gets the help he needs.
I hope it isn't too late for him to understand his mind & for him to feel the want to overcome the monster in his head.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I feel so fucking good.
Love LIFE!
Always always always stronger than yesterday.