Update
I haven't updated in a while, however due to numerous people begging me to make an entry, I have decided to oblidge them. In truth, someone suggested I update, and I am doing so, for I am not leader; I am a follower. It strikes me that i have nothing of value to commit to this update. Nothing I currently am thinking would hold any of your attention, nor would it warrent said attention anyway. Nevertheless, I will attempt to ramble, in hopes of perhaps stumbling upon a topic of interest for all parties involved.
Firstly, I suppose I little background on my current situation is called for. A many of you know, I have indeed been removed from my college. I have lon thought over what played the distinguishing factor that lead ultimately to my demise, and I have currently realized that I have no idea. One thing remains certain however. It is true that I felt just as disaml about college, in the acedemic sense, as i did about Upper Merion. The classes I were taking offered nothing but empty words, and long winded, pointless lectures. My professors seems everything but that, and they could have all used a little course called, Holding a Person's Attenion 101. With classes being as they were, it became all to easy to elect sleep, over education. This snowballed into the missing of many, many classes, and ultimately my skipping of my finals. Too late I realized that college wasn't about education, at least for me, and at least not yet. Too late I appreciated my atmosphere, reguardless of whether I hated my classes or not. And too late I became aware that in college, in my college rather, there were no second chances. So, all of a sudden I found myself on the receiving end of a dismissing phone call.
All this is in the past however. I have often told my best friend, and roomate from school, that it was ironic that in order to want to stay in college, I had to get kicked out. But that is that way of things, so I have accepted my lot. One thing at least has changed for the better though. Along with acceptance came new resolve. I now know, or am starting to know what I want to do, as far as my next few years go. I will need to find a job, for both spending money, and support through college, when I return. Be it next winter, or next spring, I am determined to see a stamp of approval on my application for admittance. It may not be the best school, and it may not be exactly what I desire, but I will strive to achieve none the less. FOr if there is one thing I've learned from my ordeal, its that somewhere, somehow, I have finally become instilled with the desire to succeed. The desire to see an "A" on a paper I wrote. The desire to have others come to me in need of acedemic help. The desire be on the honor role. Above all, the desire to be proud of myself.
Anyone who knew me though Highschool can tell you that for the greater par tof it, I couldn't have cared less what grades I got, or even if I went to class. I knew I could skate by, no matter what, and that security bred a lack of motivation, and a lack of desire. Truly, the only thing I showed passion for, in any amount, was music, and theatre, and being a jerk. To me, these things, besides being a jerk, signified a genuine way to spend time, that would benefit myself, and had real meaning. Math, Science, English, although sometimes interesting, were never satisfying, even on the rare occasion I did well, and understood the material. I often looked around, and saw other people, many of whom were my close friends, striving for that "A", striving for a flawless report card, striving for a teacher's approval. I just couldn;t understand why. It all seemed so pointless.
Even now, I question why I have begun to desire these things myself. All I know is that I do in fact desire them.
----------One more horrible side effect of being not in college is being at home. Parenthood once againraises its ugly head, and I am forced to flee before its fury. I shall continue my groundbreaking and controvercial update very soon.
Firstly, I suppose I little background on my current situation is called for. A many of you know, I have indeed been removed from my college. I have lon thought over what played the distinguishing factor that lead ultimately to my demise, and I have currently realized that I have no idea. One thing remains certain however. It is true that I felt just as disaml about college, in the acedemic sense, as i did about Upper Merion. The classes I were taking offered nothing but empty words, and long winded, pointless lectures. My professors seems everything but that, and they could have all used a little course called, Holding a Person's Attenion 101. With classes being as they were, it became all to easy to elect sleep, over education. This snowballed into the missing of many, many classes, and ultimately my skipping of my finals. Too late I realized that college wasn't about education, at least for me, and at least not yet. Too late I appreciated my atmosphere, reguardless of whether I hated my classes or not. And too late I became aware that in college, in my college rather, there were no second chances. So, all of a sudden I found myself on the receiving end of a dismissing phone call.
All this is in the past however. I have often told my best friend, and roomate from school, that it was ironic that in order to want to stay in college, I had to get kicked out. But that is that way of things, so I have accepted my lot. One thing at least has changed for the better though. Along with acceptance came new resolve. I now know, or am starting to know what I want to do, as far as my next few years go. I will need to find a job, for both spending money, and support through college, when I return. Be it next winter, or next spring, I am determined to see a stamp of approval on my application for admittance. It may not be the best school, and it may not be exactly what I desire, but I will strive to achieve none the less. FOr if there is one thing I've learned from my ordeal, its that somewhere, somehow, I have finally become instilled with the desire to succeed. The desire to see an "A" on a paper I wrote. The desire to have others come to me in need of acedemic help. The desire be on the honor role. Above all, the desire to be proud of myself.
Anyone who knew me though Highschool can tell you that for the greater par tof it, I couldn't have cared less what grades I got, or even if I went to class. I knew I could skate by, no matter what, and that security bred a lack of motivation, and a lack of desire. Truly, the only thing I showed passion for, in any amount, was music, and theatre, and being a jerk. To me, these things, besides being a jerk, signified a genuine way to spend time, that would benefit myself, and had real meaning. Math, Science, English, although sometimes interesting, were never satisfying, even on the rare occasion I did well, and understood the material. I often looked around, and saw other people, many of whom were my close friends, striving for that "A", striving for a flawless report card, striving for a teacher's approval. I just couldn;t understand why. It all seemed so pointless.
Even now, I question why I have begun to desire these things myself. All I know is that I do in fact desire them.
----------One more horrible side effect of being not in college is being at home. Parenthood once againraises its ugly head, and I am forced to flee before its fury. I shall continue my groundbreaking and controvercial update very soon.