Tomorrow is never promised .... Neid Lil Big Bang 2013
Title: Tomorrow is never Promised
Author: 123cariad
Characters: Noah Mayer & Dr Reid Oliver
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,293 approx : One Shot
Disclaimer: ATWT characters are owned by Telenext; no copyright infringement intended.
Beta: random_nic .. Thank you Nic for you help xx And for using that big stick who knew it could reach across the pond .. I'm sure the bruises will heal in good time lol
Artist: Me hope you like
Warnings: No Major warngins needed - Angst/Hurt
Summary: Reid regrets walking away ..
Thank you random_nic for yet again hosting this awesome Neid Lil BB ..
Tomorrow is never promised ....
He said, "Leave nothing for tomorrow which can be done today."
He said, "There’s no next time; it's now or never."
He said, "The present is all you own. Live, love, enjoy, wish and accomplish. Place no faith in time; the clock may soon be still."
He said, “Reid, are you listening?”
I said “no,” and choose to ignore him. Then I walked away.
Yesterday my life seemed so very simple. Time was eternal. Tomorrow was just another day...
I believed that I - that we - had all the time in the goddamn world.
How wrong could one jackass be? Nothing is a given.
Life owes us nothing. Life is what we make it. You’ve made your bed so lie in it - crumpled sheets and all.
All those clichéd sayings are dancing before my eyes, taunting me to my very core. Me, the great and powerful Dr. O, brain surgeon to the masses, Numero Uno. Selfish son of a bitch.
~**~
I wish as I sit here in this cold, stark room that I had listened to him. I wish I had found the sense to go and face my fears; cast out my demons.
I wish that I’d gone to him and admitted that I loved him. Admitted that I’d never stopped. Admitted that I was scared, that I was running away from him - from us.
I wish things could’ve been different.
I wish... I wish...
I wish I had just said "YES"!
But wishes are for fools, and I'm the biggest fool of all.
My pride was the catalyst for my denial, holding me captive, not willing to release me, not willing to let me go to him and admit he was right.
In less than a minute your whole life can change. The fickle hand of fate plays her trump card. D.U.I Jack called it: driving under the influence.
A stranger can come out of nowhere and destroy your life, causing untold damage, not caring about the consequences. I don’t understand it. I don’t think I ever will.
They think I don’t know .. But I do .
I know the guy is two rooms down from where I sit . I don’t know what they think I’ll do . Hinder his progress .Interfere with his medication . But see thats’s not me ..They don’t know the real me .I save lives I don’t take them away .
I'm no angel . I’ve thought about it . Getting retribution. Slipping into his room in the dead of night and putting my medical knowledge to good use .He doesn’t deserve to live . How dare he breath the same air as my Noah . Noah is the only reason I stay away .
Yet again he saves me from myself .
~*~
I can’t breathe. There’s a pressure in my chest that hurts so bad, a deep-seated burn that's a reminder I could lose him.
The loneliness is stifling. Yet I am surrounded by people.
Doctors, nurses, friends. His family.
A constant presence. Encouraging me to not give up - not to lose hope.
A gentle squeeze of my shoulder, a soft touch to my hand. A physical reminder. Their way of letting me know that I am not alone.
"Go get some sleep Reid."
"You must remember to eat, Reid."
"You’ll be no good to Noah if you make yourself ill, Reid."
An ever-present force that's giving me strength, yet I just want to scream, "Leave us the fuck alone."
I know what’s best for me.
I know what’s best for him.
I know what’s best for us.
But do I?
~*~
At night I lay next to him, holding him close.
I could care less what they all think. I need to be near him, to feel his body next to mine, to feel his warmth in the cold dead of night.
The nurses come and go, but no one says a word. I think they're all too afraid.
Afraid it will set me off on one of my famous Dr. Oliver tirades. But they don’t realize that here with him, I’m just Reid. Boyfriend? Lover? Partner? Lost soul!
A person scared to death of losing the only thing that makes his life worthwhile.
Their fear helps me keep centred, helps me keep control. A desperate need for things to be normal, for our lives to be how they used to be.
But I know deep down that things might never be the same again.
~*~
I feel the muscles on his chest wasting away. This strong, beautiful man is whittling away to nothing before my eyes, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it except hope and pray.
I pray. He’d laugh at that. But I do. I pray to the powers that be that I may be given a second chance. A chance to show him everything.
To give him everything.
I close my eyes and remember.
I remember how he used to look; how he used to feel. The planes of his body made my pulse thrum like a humming bird's wings.
His touch made my heart pound erratically in my chest, losing all control. The sheer need he could induce by simply placing his arms around my body is indescribable.
God, I miss his arms. I miss his hands...
~*~
His hand looks so small, so delicate nestled deep within my palm. Pale... cold… still... childlike. The exact opposite to what I remember - to what I know his hands to be.
His hands are meant to be warm, soft, rough, expressive, sensual.
His hands have the ability to map my body like an explorer. His fingertips easily circumnavigate every curve, every line, every inch of my skin. Recording every detail, setting each of my nerves on fire...
He is a maestro, and his hands are the baton. My body is his orchestra.
His hands can play my body like a musical instrument, fingers strumming their way slowly and confidently along, fine tuning every inch of my skin.
His hands are not meant to be unmoving, lifeless - still.
His hand that I now hold so desperately within my grasp is the hand I know I'll be holding on to for the rest of my life and beyond, never letting go again - if only he can forgive me.
If only he would wake up.
~*~
All I can do is sit and wait, counting down the seconds, the minutes, the hours. Day after day watching for the smallest movement, for the slightest sign that he's coming back to me.
I hate myself for knowing what to look for. My passion is now my curse.
What’s the point in being the top in your field if you can’t help the one you love?
I cling onto every breath he takes.
I sit and watch the way his chest moves. Slow, shallow breaths escape from his lips in a steady rhythm, each one giving me comfort. I thank God for that sound.
It’s the sound that tells me he's still with me. That there's still hope. I don’t even realize that I’m counting each breath that escapes, his life force unknowingly giving me strength.
I sit staring, unblinking towards his dry cracked lips. Lips that I have kissed a million times before. Lips that kiss with such passion.
Lips that have ghosted over my body, evoking such pleasure. Lips that emitted such a wealth of sultry tones as I entered his body time and time again.
Lips that whispered "I love you" as I turned and walked away.
~*~
"Hey Doc. Don't cry .. Show me those baby blues," comes the voice I’ve heard in my dreams.
Now finally ..I can breath.
Author: 123cariad
Characters: Noah Mayer & Dr Reid Oliver
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,293 approx : One Shot
Disclaimer: ATWT characters are owned by Telenext; no copyright infringement intended.
Beta: random_nic .. Thank you Nic for you help xx And for using that big stick who knew it could reach across the pond .. I'm sure the bruises will heal in good time lol
Artist: Me hope you like
Warnings: No Major warngins needed - Angst/Hurt
Summary: Reid regrets walking away ..
Thank you random_nic for yet again hosting this awesome Neid Lil BB ..
Tomorrow is never promised ....
He said, "Leave nothing for tomorrow which can be done today."
He said, "There’s no next time; it's now or never."
He said, "The present is all you own. Live, love, enjoy, wish and accomplish. Place no faith in time; the clock may soon be still."
He said, “Reid, are you listening?”
I said “no,” and choose to ignore him. Then I walked away.
Yesterday my life seemed so very simple. Time was eternal. Tomorrow was just another day...
I believed that I - that we - had all the time in the goddamn world.
How wrong could one jackass be? Nothing is a given.
Life owes us nothing. Life is what we make it. You’ve made your bed so lie in it - crumpled sheets and all.
All those clichéd sayings are dancing before my eyes, taunting me to my very core. Me, the great and powerful Dr. O, brain surgeon to the masses, Numero Uno. Selfish son of a bitch.
~**~
I wish as I sit here in this cold, stark room that I had listened to him. I wish I had found the sense to go and face my fears; cast out my demons.
I wish that I’d gone to him and admitted that I loved him. Admitted that I’d never stopped. Admitted that I was scared, that I was running away from him - from us.
I wish things could’ve been different.
I wish... I wish...
I wish I had just said "YES"!
But wishes are for fools, and I'm the biggest fool of all.
My pride was the catalyst for my denial, holding me captive, not willing to release me, not willing to let me go to him and admit he was right.
In less than a minute your whole life can change. The fickle hand of fate plays her trump card. D.U.I Jack called it: driving under the influence.
A stranger can come out of nowhere and destroy your life, causing untold damage, not caring about the consequences. I don’t understand it. I don’t think I ever will.
They think I don’t know .. But I do .
I know the guy is two rooms down from where I sit . I don’t know what they think I’ll do . Hinder his progress .Interfere with his medication . But see thats’s not me ..They don’t know the real me .I save lives I don’t take them away .
I'm no angel . I’ve thought about it . Getting retribution. Slipping into his room in the dead of night and putting my medical knowledge to good use .He doesn’t deserve to live . How dare he breath the same air as my Noah . Noah is the only reason I stay away .
Yet again he saves me from myself .
~*~
I can’t breathe. There’s a pressure in my chest that hurts so bad, a deep-seated burn that's a reminder I could lose him.
The loneliness is stifling. Yet I am surrounded by people.
Doctors, nurses, friends. His family.
A constant presence. Encouraging me to not give up - not to lose hope.
A gentle squeeze of my shoulder, a soft touch to my hand. A physical reminder. Their way of letting me know that I am not alone.
"Go get some sleep Reid."
"You must remember to eat, Reid."
"You’ll be no good to Noah if you make yourself ill, Reid."
An ever-present force that's giving me strength, yet I just want to scream, "Leave us the fuck alone."
I know what’s best for me.
I know what’s best for him.
I know what’s best for us.
But do I?
~*~
At night I lay next to him, holding him close.
I could care less what they all think. I need to be near him, to feel his body next to mine, to feel his warmth in the cold dead of night.
The nurses come and go, but no one says a word. I think they're all too afraid.
Afraid it will set me off on one of my famous Dr. Oliver tirades. But they don’t realize that here with him, I’m just Reid. Boyfriend? Lover? Partner? Lost soul!
A person scared to death of losing the only thing that makes his life worthwhile.
Their fear helps me keep centred, helps me keep control. A desperate need for things to be normal, for our lives to be how they used to be.
But I know deep down that things might never be the same again.
~*~
I feel the muscles on his chest wasting away. This strong, beautiful man is whittling away to nothing before my eyes, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it except hope and pray.
I pray. He’d laugh at that. But I do. I pray to the powers that be that I may be given a second chance. A chance to show him everything.
To give him everything.
I close my eyes and remember.
I remember how he used to look; how he used to feel. The planes of his body made my pulse thrum like a humming bird's wings.
His touch made my heart pound erratically in my chest, losing all control. The sheer need he could induce by simply placing his arms around my body is indescribable.
God, I miss his arms. I miss his hands...
~*~
His hand looks so small, so delicate nestled deep within my palm. Pale... cold… still... childlike. The exact opposite to what I remember - to what I know his hands to be.
His hands are meant to be warm, soft, rough, expressive, sensual.
His hands have the ability to map my body like an explorer. His fingertips easily circumnavigate every curve, every line, every inch of my skin. Recording every detail, setting each of my nerves on fire...
He is a maestro, and his hands are the baton. My body is his orchestra.
His hands can play my body like a musical instrument, fingers strumming their way slowly and confidently along, fine tuning every inch of my skin.
His hands are not meant to be unmoving, lifeless - still.
His hand that I now hold so desperately within my grasp is the hand I know I'll be holding on to for the rest of my life and beyond, never letting go again - if only he can forgive me.
If only he would wake up.
~*~
All I can do is sit and wait, counting down the seconds, the minutes, the hours. Day after day watching for the smallest movement, for the slightest sign that he's coming back to me.
I hate myself for knowing what to look for. My passion is now my curse.
What’s the point in being the top in your field if you can’t help the one you love?
I cling onto every breath he takes.
I sit and watch the way his chest moves. Slow, shallow breaths escape from his lips in a steady rhythm, each one giving me comfort. I thank God for that sound.
It’s the sound that tells me he's still with me. That there's still hope. I don’t even realize that I’m counting each breath that escapes, his life force unknowingly giving me strength.
I sit staring, unblinking towards his dry cracked lips. Lips that I have kissed a million times before. Lips that kiss with such passion.
Lips that have ghosted over my body, evoking such pleasure. Lips that emitted such a wealth of sultry tones as I entered his body time and time again.
Lips that whispered "I love you" as I turned and walked away.
~*~
"Hey Doc. Don't cry .. Show me those baby blues," comes the voice I’ve heard in my dreams.
Now finally ..I can breath.