Ellie's Journal - The Nuke/Jansis Prompt Meme Commmunity
Title: Ellie’s Journal
Author: 123cariad
Beta: All mistakes are mine
Characters: Luke and Noah
Rating: PG
Warnings: Fluff , Fluff and more fluff
Word Count: 1,906
Disclaimer: ATWT characters are owned by Telenext; no copyright infringement intended.
Prompter: moongirl24 with the prompt .... ‘ Tomorrow ’: Part of the Nuke/Jansis Prompt Meme Commmunity
Tagging : bijou1986 with the prompt 'Right before your eyes '
Hey Bubby x
It’s finally here!!!! The day we have both been dreading...
God Noah can you believe it has come by so quickly... We’re so not ready for this …
We need more time …
What will we do?
How will we cope?
I don’t think I can do it!
I don’t think I can let go! …
~~~~
I can hear you. Ya know.....Chuckling away to yourself finding my state of panic highly amusing . Cajoling me with that calm smooth chocolate box voice of yours the one you use only for me... Whispering in my ear to ‘Breathe Luke breathe …. It’s gonna be ok Baby ’
I’m being selfish I know …It’s me coming over all dramatic . My inner drama queen is surfacing, and as you say and take great pleasure in telling me . I do it OH so well .
But what‘s a Dad to do … I love her plain and simple, she’s our baby Noah . Our little girl !
When did she grow up ????
Why did she have to grow up so quickly Noah ?? Why !!!
~~~
It’s now 3.30 in the morning, we have such a long day ahead of us and where I am?
I’m downstairs in our lounge room staring at the blank pages of my journal for the last hour or so...Unable to put pen to paper which as you know is so not like me, when do I find it difficult to write or say anything...
While you my wonderful husband are tucked up all nice and snug snoring your head off in our extremely large oversized indecently comfortable bed... Yeah , yeah you don’t snore I’ve heard it all before Bubby but you ain't gonna get me to back down , you snore deal with it …
I’m rambling on I know … I just can’t seem to focus , I’m not sure where my thoughts are going .Avoiding the inevitable I suppose … So here goes nothing . No more avoidance …
~~~
Firstly I wanted to apologies to you.
I know you will argue back and say there is no need but there is a need Bubby ... I haven’t been all that nice to you of late.
I … for use of a better word have been a right ‘bitch’!!!!
But you have taken it all in your stride and have never once thrown it back in my face. You know me so well Noah.
You know all my insecurities, all my coping mechanisms, all my quirks and all my faults... You can read me like a book.
You have the ability to give me all the answers I could ever wish for ... With a single touch or a simple glance you are able to put me back on track ….You ground me .You inspire me .You love me unconditionally and for that I thank you ..
Don’t you think life has been good to us Noah? We’re so lucky to have each other.
We’ve had our ups and downs like most couples out there .But we always battled through and survived …
Not without some emotional bruising on both our parts... But we’ve fought through it... We fought for us! We fought for our family...And we most definitely won out in the end.
~~~
I know my memory can sometimes forsake me . I would be the first to admit that me and a gold fish could be related. But! I remember the Morning that we received that phone call like it was yesterday... I know I don’t need to remind you do I .
I never have to remind you about all the important dates or turning points in our lives.
We were told to expect it but neither of us believed it would happen ….. We were at the farm surrounded by so many Snyder’s so many Walsh’s... Our family...
Mom , Dad, the girls, Ethan … Aunts and Uncles the cousins. If I took the time to name them all I would need to start a second journal … Even Grandmother had taken time out for World domination to be there with us to share in that magical moment ..
Ha! To this day I swear that I can still smell the aroma of Grandma’s kitchen... She always baked when she was nervous and she was nervous enough for both of us that day ... she was like a bumble bee buzzing all over the place making sure we were all fed and watered, hovering around us clucking like a mother hen …
I miss her so much …She‘d be baking up a storm if she were with us today. Putting us in our places letting us know what was what... Giving me a stern talking to in regard to my behavior over the past few weeks … She would have loved it.
We were surrounded by such noise , so many excited people chattering away . But we both sat in silence holding hands across the dining table both far too emotional to speak both holding our breath every time the damn phone rang...
And it seemed to ring none stop that morning everyone who could not be there with us ringing up asking for news … I love my family but god on that day I wish I’d been an only child …..
Then finally the call came through ... My Dad answered... He offered me the receiver but I couldn’t do it.
How could I !
How could I have taken one of the most important phone calls of our lives when I couldn’t even breath. I would have stuttered and blundered my way through the whole conversation making no sense at all.
But not you... You stood and slowly walked across the room standing calmly in front of my Dad . It still brings a lump to my throat thinking of the look in my Dad’s eye as he handed the receiver to you... Who said cowboys don’t cry. Well he’s not exactly a cowboy but you know what I mean.
I think the whole room held its breath as you nodded and answered ‘Yes ... No … Sure … No problem ….Of course ... I understand’ a string of no committal answers .The whole room was on edge the suspense was killing us.
But finally after what seemed like hours you said ‘Thank you’ You gently placed the receiver down, taking a deep breath you turned ignoring everyone in the room you searched me out and smiled one of your huge dazzling heart stopping smiles and gave me a nod and mouthed out the words ‘She Ours.’
Somehow … I ended up in your arms being held in one of your bone crushing hugs don’t even know how I got there but I was and that’s all that mattered I whispered ‘When’ you nuzzled my ear and replied ‘Tomorrow’.
Tomorrow we were bringing home our daughter …. Ellie May Snyder-Mayer and the next stage of our lives would begin.
~~~
We have had so many tomorrows, so many first times over the years Noah each and every one of them has been an important landmark in our daughter's life …… All have been recorded in this journal ... Ellie’s Journal ~
Tomorrow is Ellie 1st Birthday... Tomorrow is Ellie’s first day in Pre-school.
Tomorrow is Ellie’s first day in High School... Tomorrow is Ellie’s Sweet sixteen.
Tomorrow will be Ellie’s first day in college….. Tomorrow will be Ellie’s wedding day .
I wish tomorrow would slow the hell down and let me keep my baby Girl for one more day …
I know … I know . Life has to move on ….She’s all grown up and ready to take the next step in her life and become Mrs Jonathan C Hughes.
Even if I. Am. Not. Ready .To. Let. Her. Go.
(Not clenching my teeth …No sir … No way….. OK… ok you got me , maybe just a little bit).
But you can't honestly tell me that you don't feel the same Noah .. I can see it in your eyes every single time you look at her.
From that very first moment we set eyes on her , maybe if we're honest even before that she has been the center of our whole world ... Our whole family dotes on her.
I know we're not going to lose her. She's only moving a few doors away for god’s sake but you see she won't solely belong to us anymore.
Tomorrow we will stand proudly beside her and give her away to the man she loves... Oh and I totally expect you to take our future son-in-law aside and explain to him in great detail might I add that our Ellie is only on lone to him and if her Fucks it up! All bets are off and we're taking her back no questions asked... … Ok glad we got that sorted.
But we both know that will never happen, they have known each other for ever and besides she looks at him the way I look at you Noah... With pure unadulterated Love. No if's or buts she got it bad for him , same as I have for you...
~~~
And this is why I find myself here at this god forsaken hour writing to you … When I really should be getting some sleep for the day ahead...
You never read any of my journals . Strike that I’ve never let you read any of my journals.... And to your credit you never asked. You always respected my privacy.
This particular Journal contains all our daughter's yesterdays. And today as she steps forward into her new life I want to share these moments with you... And you don’t need to remind me that you were there the first time round I know I was there too...
We were there together.
But I wanted you to see her. I wanted you to see YOU and her through my eyes ... So here it is Bubby Ellie’s Journal for you and your eyes only.
I have no doubt there will be many more journal’s in our tomorrows there will be many more firsts for us to experience together … But I just need you to know how much the last 30 years of yesterdays have meant to me … They have meant everything ……I can’t imagine a single second of my life without you ..
You are this family’s rock our foundation and without you we would be like a mansion built on sand …We would Simple crumble away .
~~~
I can hear you moving around up there, so I best finish up and make my way up to you before you come down and read me the riot act.
I’m going to leave you with this quote I recently found..
‘Life goes by so fast. Our Time is short. No replays . No rewinds. So enjoy each and every moment as it comes’
This is our new mantra Noah … Tomorrow we begin another phase in our lives... We have no idea what those tomorrows will bring but I damn sure we will have a blast finding out...
Just know that I love you, I loved our yesterdays and I will love our new Tomorrows...
Yours Always ,
Luke xxx
Author: 123cariad
Beta: All mistakes are mine
Characters: Luke and Noah
Rating: PG
Warnings: Fluff , Fluff and more fluff
Word Count: 1,906
Disclaimer: ATWT characters are owned by Telenext; no copyright infringement intended.
Prompter: moongirl24 with the prompt .... ‘ Tomorrow ’: Part of the Nuke/Jansis Prompt Meme Commmunity
Tagging : bijou1986 with the prompt 'Right before your eyes '
Hey Bubby x
It’s finally here!!!! The day we have both been dreading...
God Noah can you believe it has come by so quickly... We’re so not ready for this …
We need more time …
What will we do?
How will we cope?
I don’t think I can do it!
I don’t think I can let go! …
~~~~
I can hear you. Ya know.....Chuckling away to yourself finding my state of panic highly amusing . Cajoling me with that calm smooth chocolate box voice of yours the one you use only for me... Whispering in my ear to ‘Breathe Luke breathe …. It’s gonna be ok Baby ’
I’m being selfish I know …It’s me coming over all dramatic . My inner drama queen is surfacing, and as you say and take great pleasure in telling me . I do it OH so well .
But what‘s a Dad to do … I love her plain and simple, she’s our baby Noah . Our little girl !
When did she grow up ????
Why did she have to grow up so quickly Noah ?? Why !!!
~~~
It’s now 3.30 in the morning, we have such a long day ahead of us and where I am?
I’m downstairs in our lounge room staring at the blank pages of my journal for the last hour or so...Unable to put pen to paper which as you know is so not like me, when do I find it difficult to write or say anything...
While you my wonderful husband are tucked up all nice and snug snoring your head off in our extremely large oversized indecently comfortable bed... Yeah , yeah you don’t snore I’ve heard it all before Bubby but you ain't gonna get me to back down , you snore deal with it …
I’m rambling on I know … I just can’t seem to focus , I’m not sure where my thoughts are going .Avoiding the inevitable I suppose … So here goes nothing . No more avoidance …
~~~
Firstly I wanted to apologies to you.
I know you will argue back and say there is no need but there is a need Bubby ... I haven’t been all that nice to you of late.
I … for use of a better word have been a right ‘bitch’!!!!
But you have taken it all in your stride and have never once thrown it back in my face. You know me so well Noah.
You know all my insecurities, all my coping mechanisms, all my quirks and all my faults... You can read me like a book.
You have the ability to give me all the answers I could ever wish for ... With a single touch or a simple glance you are able to put me back on track ….You ground me .You inspire me .You love me unconditionally and for that I thank you ..
Don’t you think life has been good to us Noah? We’re so lucky to have each other.
We’ve had our ups and downs like most couples out there .But we always battled through and survived …
Not without some emotional bruising on both our parts... But we’ve fought through it... We fought for us! We fought for our family...And we most definitely won out in the end.
~~~
I know my memory can sometimes forsake me . I would be the first to admit that me and a gold fish could be related. But! I remember the Morning that we received that phone call like it was yesterday... I know I don’t need to remind you do I .
I never have to remind you about all the important dates or turning points in our lives.
We were told to expect it but neither of us believed it would happen ….. We were at the farm surrounded by so many Snyder’s so many Walsh’s... Our family...
Mom , Dad, the girls, Ethan … Aunts and Uncles the cousins. If I took the time to name them all I would need to start a second journal … Even Grandmother had taken time out for World domination to be there with us to share in that magical moment ..
Ha! To this day I swear that I can still smell the aroma of Grandma’s kitchen... She always baked when she was nervous and she was nervous enough for both of us that day ... she was like a bumble bee buzzing all over the place making sure we were all fed and watered, hovering around us clucking like a mother hen …
I miss her so much …She‘d be baking up a storm if she were with us today. Putting us in our places letting us know what was what... Giving me a stern talking to in regard to my behavior over the past few weeks … She would have loved it.
We were surrounded by such noise , so many excited people chattering away . But we both sat in silence holding hands across the dining table both far too emotional to speak both holding our breath every time the damn phone rang...
And it seemed to ring none stop that morning everyone who could not be there with us ringing up asking for news … I love my family but god on that day I wish I’d been an only child …..
Then finally the call came through ... My Dad answered... He offered me the receiver but I couldn’t do it.
How could I !
How could I have taken one of the most important phone calls of our lives when I couldn’t even breath. I would have stuttered and blundered my way through the whole conversation making no sense at all.
But not you... You stood and slowly walked across the room standing calmly in front of my Dad . It still brings a lump to my throat thinking of the look in my Dad’s eye as he handed the receiver to you... Who said cowboys don’t cry. Well he’s not exactly a cowboy but you know what I mean.
I think the whole room held its breath as you nodded and answered ‘Yes ... No … Sure … No problem ….Of course ... I understand’ a string of no committal answers .The whole room was on edge the suspense was killing us.
But finally after what seemed like hours you said ‘Thank you’ You gently placed the receiver down, taking a deep breath you turned ignoring everyone in the room you searched me out and smiled one of your huge dazzling heart stopping smiles and gave me a nod and mouthed out the words ‘She Ours.’
Somehow … I ended up in your arms being held in one of your bone crushing hugs don’t even know how I got there but I was and that’s all that mattered I whispered ‘When’ you nuzzled my ear and replied ‘Tomorrow’.
Tomorrow we were bringing home our daughter …. Ellie May Snyder-Mayer and the next stage of our lives would begin.
~~~
We have had so many tomorrows, so many first times over the years Noah each and every one of them has been an important landmark in our daughter's life …… All have been recorded in this journal ... Ellie’s Journal ~
Tomorrow is Ellie 1st Birthday... Tomorrow is Ellie’s first day in Pre-school.
Tomorrow is Ellie’s first day in High School... Tomorrow is Ellie’s Sweet sixteen.
Tomorrow will be Ellie’s first day in college….. Tomorrow will be Ellie’s wedding day .
I wish tomorrow would slow the hell down and let me keep my baby Girl for one more day …
I know … I know . Life has to move on ….She’s all grown up and ready to take the next step in her life and become Mrs Jonathan C Hughes.
Even if I. Am. Not. Ready .To. Let. Her. Go.
(Not clenching my teeth …No sir … No way….. OK… ok you got me , maybe just a little bit).
But you can't honestly tell me that you don't feel the same Noah .. I can see it in your eyes every single time you look at her.
From that very first moment we set eyes on her , maybe if we're honest even before that she has been the center of our whole world ... Our whole family dotes on her.
I know we're not going to lose her. She's only moving a few doors away for god’s sake but you see she won't solely belong to us anymore.
Tomorrow we will stand proudly beside her and give her away to the man she loves... Oh and I totally expect you to take our future son-in-law aside and explain to him in great detail might I add that our Ellie is only on lone to him and if her Fucks it up! All bets are off and we're taking her back no questions asked... … Ok glad we got that sorted.
But we both know that will never happen, they have known each other for ever and besides she looks at him the way I look at you Noah... With pure unadulterated Love. No if's or buts she got it bad for him , same as I have for you...
~~~
And this is why I find myself here at this god forsaken hour writing to you … When I really should be getting some sleep for the day ahead...
You never read any of my journals . Strike that I’ve never let you read any of my journals.... And to your credit you never asked. You always respected my privacy.
This particular Journal contains all our daughter's yesterdays. And today as she steps forward into her new life I want to share these moments with you... And you don’t need to remind me that you were there the first time round I know I was there too...
We were there together.
But I wanted you to see her. I wanted you to see YOU and her through my eyes ... So here it is Bubby Ellie’s Journal for you and your eyes only.
I have no doubt there will be many more journal’s in our tomorrows there will be many more firsts for us to experience together … But I just need you to know how much the last 30 years of yesterdays have meant to me … They have meant everything ……I can’t imagine a single second of my life without you ..
You are this family’s rock our foundation and without you we would be like a mansion built on sand …We would Simple crumble away .
~~~
I can hear you moving around up there, so I best finish up and make my way up to you before you come down and read me the riot act.
I’m going to leave you with this quote I recently found..
‘Life goes by so fast. Our Time is short. No replays . No rewinds. So enjoy each and every moment as it comes’
This is our new mantra Noah … Tomorrow we begin another phase in our lives... We have no idea what those tomorrows will bring but I damn sure we will have a blast finding out...
Just know that I love you, I loved our yesterdays and I will love our new Tomorrows...
Yours Always ,
Luke xxx