Took me some heartache to realize where I belonged..
I realize I had my doubts and you were always 100%. I was scared of being hurt and I thought that unless things were perfect, we weren't going to last. When I felt like that, I thought about leaving and this happened too many times. You put a wall up each time I mentioned my doubts to you. You didn't want me to hurt you and I understand why you did that. I don't blame you. But when I felt that wall between us it made me think we weren't moving forward. We had a falling out and I said we should end it. I thought of a few reasons that made me feel better about myself to put partial blame on you for the break up. In actuality, it was me who was unsure of us. I take full blame for it all. After some time apart we tried to rekindle it again.
I told you we would work on ourselves and maybe get back together once things got better. I then realized that I was giving false hope, because I still had my doubts. It wasn't right to have you wait on me to figure myself out. You deserve better, you really do. So I told you it was really over. By then my heart was in SO much pain. I spent my days thinking only of you. Everything reminded me of you and us, I couldn't stand the pain. I tried looking at the bright side of things but there weren't many. None that I could see at the time. In my lonliness I sat waiting for you to come home. Not sure if you ever would but I wanted to see your face. I missed you so much, you will never know and I will never be able to explain that feeling. It just hurt bad. Like I was having a heart attack. All I needed was to see you. When I heard the door open and heard Storm run up the stairs I got excited. Though I wasn't sure what to say or do I tried to talk to you and ended up telling you about the pain I was in. You had it too. Had alot of fun playing video games with you, it helped me to take my mind off of the issue at hand. I went to bed, wishing you could come with me. Just to lay next to my side. And our dogs too, laying at the bottom of the bed leaving us no room to lay comfortable..I missed that. I layed in bed for a few seconds and thought I would give you a letter I wrote. It was more like a journal entry, something to help me get things off my chest. I thought you needed to know that I loved you more than life itself. I walked back out and gave it to you and walked back in the room. Gave you a few minutes to read it and I listened to you cry. I couldn't stand that, not one bit. My heart broke more when I thought it wasn't possible. I walked out in the dark and stood behind the couch you were laying on. Your face was in the dogs chest, crying. You never cry, ever. I wanted to just kiss you and hug you and make it all go away. I didn't know what to say or do so I walked back to the room. You called me to stay and talk. We talked about so much, sitting in the dark. Crying while the wind and trees hit the windows of our home. By the end of the conversation, you offered me counseling as an option. I gladly accepted. I want to work through this with you. Your all I need and all I've wanted. After we talked you pushed your way into my doubts that we shouldn't sleep in the same bed. It didn't take much convincing because I wanted it. Not for sex, I just wanted a good nights rest. I haven't slept well in a few days without you. I wanted to smell you, to hear you talk in your sleep, to hear you snore, to put my arms around you. All of that. And we did just that. I feel like a new person today. I feel like I have the world to offer you. I feel like I needed to have my heart ripped apart. It helped me to realize that you were so perfect for me. You would do anything for me and I wanted to go for some foolish reason. Well, I'm here to say now..I'm not going anywhere and we're going to make this. I love you with my all and I have so much to give and a lifetime to give it. Let's finally move forward and never look back.
I am yours forever...with no doubts at all. We will make this. Nothing will hold us back...NOTHING. Most importantly, I love you.
The end.
I told you we would work on ourselves and maybe get back together once things got better. I then realized that I was giving false hope, because I still had my doubts. It wasn't right to have you wait on me to figure myself out. You deserve better, you really do. So I told you it was really over. By then my heart was in SO much pain. I spent my days thinking only of you. Everything reminded me of you and us, I couldn't stand the pain. I tried looking at the bright side of things but there weren't many. None that I could see at the time. In my lonliness I sat waiting for you to come home. Not sure if you ever would but I wanted to see your face. I missed you so much, you will never know and I will never be able to explain that feeling. It just hurt bad. Like I was having a heart attack. All I needed was to see you. When I heard the door open and heard Storm run up the stairs I got excited. Though I wasn't sure what to say or do I tried to talk to you and ended up telling you about the pain I was in. You had it too. Had alot of fun playing video games with you, it helped me to take my mind off of the issue at hand. I went to bed, wishing you could come with me. Just to lay next to my side. And our dogs too, laying at the bottom of the bed leaving us no room to lay comfortable..I missed that. I layed in bed for a few seconds and thought I would give you a letter I wrote. It was more like a journal entry, something to help me get things off my chest. I thought you needed to know that I loved you more than life itself. I walked back out and gave it to you and walked back in the room. Gave you a few minutes to read it and I listened to you cry. I couldn't stand that, not one bit. My heart broke more when I thought it wasn't possible. I walked out in the dark and stood behind the couch you were laying on. Your face was in the dogs chest, crying. You never cry, ever. I wanted to just kiss you and hug you and make it all go away. I didn't know what to say or do so I walked back to the room. You called me to stay and talk. We talked about so much, sitting in the dark. Crying while the wind and trees hit the windows of our home. By the end of the conversation, you offered me counseling as an option. I gladly accepted. I want to work through this with you. Your all I need and all I've wanted. After we talked you pushed your way into my doubts that we shouldn't sleep in the same bed. It didn't take much convincing because I wanted it. Not for sex, I just wanted a good nights rest. I haven't slept well in a few days without you. I wanted to smell you, to hear you talk in your sleep, to hear you snore, to put my arms around you. All of that. And we did just that. I feel like a new person today. I feel like I have the world to offer you. I feel like I needed to have my heart ripped apart. It helped me to realize that you were so perfect for me. You would do anything for me and I wanted to go for some foolish reason. Well, I'm here to say now..I'm not going anywhere and we're going to make this. I love you with my all and I have so much to give and a lifetime to give it. Let's finally move forward and never look back.
I am yours forever...with no doubts at all. We will make this. Nothing will hold us back...NOTHING. Most importantly, I love you.
The end.