but i hope hope hope you didn`t forget me..

[1229]

you know what makes me so mad? people that get all pissy because i`m out doing something else without them. shit, i mean, they`re always out having fun and i don`t get mad. i`m tired of people IMing me when they`re bored and have nothing to do `cause all their other friends are busy so they all of a sudden remember that i exist and wonder what i`m doing and then get pissed at me for having plans. yeah, i randomly IM people sometimes `cause i`m bored, but i never stop talking to them because my other friends are online. there`s only about 24 people on my buddylist, why? `cause i took everyone off. why? `cause honestly, there`s no point in having someone on my buddylist if they`re never on or i don`t talk to them. it`s a waste of space. i understand that you get caught up when you`re having fun, `cause i`ve been there, but i`ve never been pissed at anyone for going out and having fun without me. obviously, if they wanted me to go, they`d call and invite me. it`s your own decision on who you want to hang out with. another thing that makes me mad is people saying, "you`re always out," `cause you know and i know that i`m usually home. i may not be online, but i`m at home. i do nothing, but sleep weird hours and wake up around 2pm. the only reason why you people think i`m always out is because on those rare occasions that you want to hang out with me, i already have plans. why do i have plans? because people call me and ask if i want to hang out.

some say i hang out with the torrance kids a lot, but that`s not entirely true. it only seemed like it because they were the only ones that would ask me to join them when they`d go out. yes, i`ve made new friends, but i have never forgotten about anyone. but even lately i haven`t been hanging out with them because i don`t have a ride home. i don`t wanna call my parents and have them pick me up at midnight. i think it`s kind of fucked up that a certain place is "too far" for some people. if you were my friend and i was stranded with no ride home, it`d be nice if you could take me home. i`m not talking about people that are already at home, i mean people that are already out and are doing nothing else. and you know what else i think is fucked up? that when i needed a ride home from somewhere, it was far, yet when certain friends want to go there for "fun" it`s not far at all. fuck that bullshit, just tell me straight up if you don`t want to get me or something. don`t sugarcoat shit and piss me off.

i don`t even hang out with the same friends anymore. i`ve started to become closer again to my friends that i have wronged in the past and i`m glad that i am. because truthfully, i don`t want to go out to do things that i`m not really interested in doing. it`s hot outside and i`m lazy, i`d rather stay home. if we`re gonna go out and you can guarantee me fun, than i`ll go. if you`re just going to waste my time; don`t bother, i`d rather stay home.

i`m tired of having fake friends. stop lying to me. i`m not stupid. please, stop giving me bullshit. thanks.