Oh My Christ - The Madness
I wouldn't mind if you took me in my sleep tonight
I wouldn't even put up a fight,
I wouldn't care if you took it all away today
I'm sure I wouldn't even miss the pain...
-Mineral (Parking Lot) --PS.. Depressing poor little emo kid song, if you haven't heard it, don't bother, it'll make ya wanna shoot yourself ;)
*Recalls being emotionally ripped in two as the guitar kicks in...while full of mushrooms...granted...
But mushrooms aside I know I've been there before. I'm beginning to think everybody just feels like this sometimes, whether they know the reason or not. I think all you can say is thats life and the sooner you get over it, the sooner you get to start living again. Everyone has bad days I'm sure, hate spawning from frustration when nothing at all seems to work and everything breaks. Yeah it sucks, it fucking sucks like hell and I have this tendancy to drag myself down to where I just want to feel more angry and hateful while still trying to feel better and knowing that these broken feelings don't last...But as you tell yourself this over and over the frustration just builds and you want everything to just end. Fuck, its good to I know I'm at least not alone. I guess this means we're not crazy? Or does it just mean we're all just a little crazy and struggling to deal with it? If so, I think whatever it is, honestly, if we never overcome it completely we'll at least get a good grasp on these temporary bouts of hell. Worrying about it gets you nowhere and worrying about the future will break you in two. You just have look inside yourself, count your blessings and let go...yeah, easier said than done.. haha fuck eh? ;) With time, however, comes practice, and eventually, when we finally learn to let them, these barriers will slip away.
Trying to please everyone is the key to never succeeding; Some linguist said that, I forget his name but I recall thinking when I read it that he's pretty smart. You really have to learn to live for yourself first. Making other people happy is one of the greatest things in the world second only to being able to make yourself happy. If inside yourself, you can just find happiness, or something like it, you've got it made. Music is my best friend and my worst enemy, it can pick me up or break me down. I need the right song to counteract my bad moods, but I always pick the wrong ones when I feel that way. The right one, on the other hand, takes my worst day ever (weekly basis..lol) and brings me back towards where I wanna be. I'll laugh and realise I'm foolish for feeling this way, especially when I'm perfectly happy and have no reason to for it. I've never loved life so much as lately, despite the persistant rollercoaster upstairs. I have so many of the things I've been wanting for a long time and when I suddenly realise this (yeah, sometimes it even takes a few tries, as foolish as that is) I feel instantly better and my worst day will turn 180 degrees to a great day. If theres one thing I want its to conquer this and if I can do anything, I can do that, and so can you. Though everybody has their own ways its always going to be something they hold closely to them. Find it and learn to let go. Good things will come to you but only if you want them.
All in all I must say I've been having a pretty good day today despite very little sleep. I caught up with Sandy Doyle who I used to be tight with back through high school and hung out with Steve MacKinnon on activity club break today. We went to Bay Music, checked out some guitars and then went back to his place and jammed a bit. Its awesome to hang out with old friends again. Our crew is the best group of friends ever and its awesome how everyone's crazy complements the next. Never woulda made it this far without everyone. Especially Laurie, best friend and everything, I always came to you first with it all, and I was I ever broken without you here. I realised this later of course and didn't quite understand that I lacked the someone to talk to, having you to pour myself out to is what I missed more than anything I've ever missed. I love you, and don't ever go away for that long again. I might just turn into a total wingnut if you do...lol
So anywho I'm about to head to bed since I have to work tomorrow and I'm pretty much done ranting, which isn't very common a thing I might add. So anyone who reads this, wish Laurie good luck on her job interview tomorrow/today and cross your fingers she gets it. I'll be.
But, I'm off to get some sleep.
This is Lt. Russ, last survivor of the Nostromo,
Signing off.
I wouldn't even put up a fight,
I wouldn't care if you took it all away today
I'm sure I wouldn't even miss the pain...
-Mineral (Parking Lot) --PS.. Depressing poor little emo kid song, if you haven't heard it, don't bother, it'll make ya wanna shoot yourself ;)
*Recalls being emotionally ripped in two as the guitar kicks in...while full of mushrooms...granted...
But mushrooms aside I know I've been there before. I'm beginning to think everybody just feels like this sometimes, whether they know the reason or not. I think all you can say is thats life and the sooner you get over it, the sooner you get to start living again. Everyone has bad days I'm sure, hate spawning from frustration when nothing at all seems to work and everything breaks. Yeah it sucks, it fucking sucks like hell and I have this tendancy to drag myself down to where I just want to feel more angry and hateful while still trying to feel better and knowing that these broken feelings don't last...But as you tell yourself this over and over the frustration just builds and you want everything to just end. Fuck, its good to I know I'm at least not alone. I guess this means we're not crazy? Or does it just mean we're all just a little crazy and struggling to deal with it? If so, I think whatever it is, honestly, if we never overcome it completely we'll at least get a good grasp on these temporary bouts of hell. Worrying about it gets you nowhere and worrying about the future will break you in two. You just have look inside yourself, count your blessings and let go...yeah, easier said than done.. haha fuck eh? ;) With time, however, comes practice, and eventually, when we finally learn to let them, these barriers will slip away.
Trying to please everyone is the key to never succeeding; Some linguist said that, I forget his name but I recall thinking when I read it that he's pretty smart. You really have to learn to live for yourself first. Making other people happy is one of the greatest things in the world second only to being able to make yourself happy. If inside yourself, you can just find happiness, or something like it, you've got it made. Music is my best friend and my worst enemy, it can pick me up or break me down. I need the right song to counteract my bad moods, but I always pick the wrong ones when I feel that way. The right one, on the other hand, takes my worst day ever (weekly basis..lol) and brings me back towards where I wanna be. I'll laugh and realise I'm foolish for feeling this way, especially when I'm perfectly happy and have no reason to for it. I've never loved life so much as lately, despite the persistant rollercoaster upstairs. I have so many of the things I've been wanting for a long time and when I suddenly realise this (yeah, sometimes it even takes a few tries, as foolish as that is) I feel instantly better and my worst day will turn 180 degrees to a great day. If theres one thing I want its to conquer this and if I can do anything, I can do that, and so can you. Though everybody has their own ways its always going to be something they hold closely to them. Find it and learn to let go. Good things will come to you but only if you want them.
All in all I must say I've been having a pretty good day today despite very little sleep. I caught up with Sandy Doyle who I used to be tight with back through high school and hung out with Steve MacKinnon on activity club break today. We went to Bay Music, checked out some guitars and then went back to his place and jammed a bit. Its awesome to hang out with old friends again. Our crew is the best group of friends ever and its awesome how everyone's crazy complements the next. Never woulda made it this far without everyone. Especially Laurie, best friend and everything, I always came to you first with it all, and I was I ever broken without you here. I realised this later of course and didn't quite understand that I lacked the someone to talk to, having you to pour myself out to is what I missed more than anything I've ever missed. I love you, and don't ever go away for that long again. I might just turn into a total wingnut if you do...lol
So anywho I'm about to head to bed since I have to work tomorrow and I'm pretty much done ranting, which isn't very common a thing I might add. So anyone who reads this, wish Laurie good luck on her job interview tomorrow/today and cross your fingers she gets it. I'll be.
But, I'm off to get some sleep.
This is Lt. Russ, last survivor of the Nostromo,
Signing off.