Insomniacs of LJ, unite
I am beginning to admit to myself that I internalize my anxieties. I seem to have lost the ability to go to bed before I am completely exhausted. This has been going on pretty much since my grandmother died, which happened to coincide with my latest visit to the unemployment agency. They wanted some clarification regarding my doctor's assessment of my health, so I wrote him a letter asking him to explain the nature of my "improvement" as well.
My sick-leave has to be extended in order for me to be allowed to partake in occupational therapy to figure out how many hours I actually can stay awake work per week. The unemployment agency is reluctant to help me find a full-time position otherwise because they don't feel that I can handle one. They also feel it would be a bad idea to go out and get a full-time job despite my limitations and end up on sick leave again within a week, but my economic reality is what it is. Our savings evaporated by 50% in the stock market crash, we just had to spend 1500 dollars to get my car fixed and I probably never told you all the amusing and tragic story of how my dog swallowed a plastic toy on Christmas Eve (as if I wasn't supporting the local veterinary hospital already with Mental and our five cats).
So I get stuck on the couch at night with my laptop, and we all know that computers are to insomniacs what crack is to junkies. I go to sleep in the wee hours of the morning, after the baby's first wake-up, and get up before noon so I see my kids and make them lunch. Then I take a nap or walk around like a zombie all day until night comes, I put the baby down at 7 PM and a few "I'm just going to"s later it's 3 AM, the house is cold and quiet and I'm watching reruns and checking to see if anyone has updated their status on Facebook at this ungodly hour.
But, as I should have said to kejn earlier today: admittance is the first step to recovery. Having exorcised a few of my demons, perhaps I'll be able to go upstairs to bed now.
My sick-leave has to be extended in order for me to be allowed to partake in occupational therapy to figure out how many hours I actually can stay awake work per week. The unemployment agency is reluctant to help me find a full-time position otherwise because they don't feel that I can handle one. They also feel it would be a bad idea to go out and get a full-time job despite my limitations and end up on sick leave again within a week, but my economic reality is what it is. Our savings evaporated by 50% in the stock market crash, we just had to spend 1500 dollars to get my car fixed and I probably never told you all the amusing and tragic story of how my dog swallowed a plastic toy on Christmas Eve (as if I wasn't supporting the local veterinary hospital already with Mental and our five cats).
So I get stuck on the couch at night with my laptop, and we all know that computers are to insomniacs what crack is to junkies. I go to sleep in the wee hours of the morning, after the baby's first wake-up, and get up before noon so I see my kids and make them lunch. Then I take a nap or walk around like a zombie all day until night comes, I put the baby down at 7 PM and a few "I'm just going to"s later it's 3 AM, the house is cold and quiet and I'm watching reruns and checking to see if anyone has updated their status on Facebook at this ungodly hour.
But, as I should have said to kejn earlier today: admittance is the first step to recovery. Having exorcised a few of my demons, perhaps I'll be able to go upstairs to bed now.