106.
Every night now, I sit in my room and think about Toronto. All the impressions and feelings and colours and everything come back to me and it's just so.. heartbreakingly far away right now. I want spring and summer in the city more than anything in the entire world. I'm listening to music that reminds me of that one particular summer I spent downtown all the time.. Riding the subway at 7am so I could rush home and go to my job as a receptionist on entirely no sleep. I remember the last night and the watermelon liqueur and that house at Jane and Finch and then realizing that I have so much farther to go before this is a reality. I remember that party in the backyard of a bar and meeting all of Sandor's friends. I'm so sick of this place and not being where I feel like I belong, I guess.
Toronto's always going to have my heart.
I also really just wish it were spring. Fuck off, winter! I'm sick of trudging through slush and getting my shoes all wet (I literally cannot wear my winter boots as they cut a giant hole in my ankle that still isn't healed).
I'm fighting with Jeremy at the moment and it feels.. like a burden's going away. At the same time, I also feel like giving in and apologizing. Dual nature, much?
Cancelled my date tonight because I also cancelled everything else that was supposed to happen today, minus going to the gym. I even fucked that up in that I had to stop because I was going to pass out. I feel like I've done a whole lot of nothing today and that's.. essentially true.
I can't stop thinking about Toronto and that's killing my productivity here in Waterloo. Tomorrow I go back to King and maybe I can start looking for places downtown.. Also a job, I guess. I'm scared of my future.
(sidenote: my music changed right when I was going to post this and HAHAHA APPROPRIATE)
Toronto's always going to have my heart.
I also really just wish it were spring. Fuck off, winter! I'm sick of trudging through slush and getting my shoes all wet (I literally cannot wear my winter boots as they cut a giant hole in my ankle that still isn't healed).
I'm fighting with Jeremy at the moment and it feels.. like a burden's going away. At the same time, I also feel like giving in and apologizing. Dual nature, much?
Cancelled my date tonight because I also cancelled everything else that was supposed to happen today, minus going to the gym. I even fucked that up in that I had to stop because I was going to pass out. I feel like I've done a whole lot of nothing today and that's.. essentially true.
I can't stop thinking about Toronto and that's killing my productivity here in Waterloo. Tomorrow I go back to King and maybe I can start looking for places downtown.. Also a job, I guess. I'm scared of my future.
(sidenote: my music changed right when I was going to post this and HAHAHA APPROPRIATE)