Jan 13, 2010 23:48
People are moving in and out of my life like water currently. It's nice having this free-flowing kind of friendship with people, where you can pick right back up after long silences.
I think all I really want to do is state for the record that yes, I'm happy. I don't have a job, I have no real way to pay for my expenses, but I'm happy. My friends are lovely, my roommates and I are working well together currently, the boys of my life are actually being reasonable for once and my family is holding itself together surprisingly well. I'm going home on Friday night, spending Saturday with Paul, Sunday with the family, and Monday's the day I get to get off these goddamned horrible pills that are causing me so much anguish and anger.
I keep doing things that I instantly regret, yelling at people I shouldn't, being insanely impulsive, but I'm not NOT happy. I'm just filled with other emotions that are battling it out and I can't make heads or tails of it most of the time. I don't like this. It's one aspect I can't bloody stand, but it doesn't mean I'm unhappy, and it doesn't mean I'm wrong to enjoy my life for what it is. Emotions are necessary, even the bad ones.
I'm very grateful to be me.
stupidity,
anger,
stream of conscious