kan.pe~kii no STAIRU
xD I LOVE PATTY<3
Hnn~ I wish I were a better artist. In art today this underclassman who sits in front of me kept complaining that my color wheel looked nicer than his. Of course, every other moment he complained about having to do art in - how scandalous - art class. Maybe he hates paint.
I like paint and painting. I kind of want to incorporrate it into my adult lifepath but I'm not sure yet. I also always fall back into the idea of some sort of anatomy/chemisty field, but really, they're only appriciated when something bad happens, and I like my sunny outlook. Could it be darkened?
I also want to sew more. So I will. And I'll draw more too. And I'll continue to paint in art class, but I probably won't paint much more (besides the occasional paint by numbers and the *master grade gundum).
Despite all of that, I'll need to write more, but my grades are doing quite fine without my concern. I think I'll try some more for colleges, but I'm still in a void. Not sure about much at the moment, or I'll be like little Krona: "I don't know how to deal with it." so I just go with my black blood, my Ragonarok or whatever the apethetic influence in my head will accept to go by in this little space of internet. I like this little space of internet. lol. I could make another Soul Eater reference, but the download's pretty much done now.
I have theories about myself, and I think they're true. But if I admit to those theories out loud, then I feel like I'd feel like someone making excuses for themself. Freud said in Discontents that we have a consciousness of guilt and in a very decorated way, also says that, that means that we have a need of punishment. Sometimes I feel that's so very true, and at some moments I don't think at all. So I wonder, if that punishment need is so normalized, then it could be considered a method of maintaing control of the ego, or just yourself I guess. I don't think it's all a bad thing at all, but I'm an optomist in most cases.
Maybe I have a permenent fever? I hate when my mom touches my things.
o.chiii*This latter part here, that's a joke. D;