don't lose who you are, cuz that's who you are
Today was wonderful. It’s incredible how happy I can be just from letting things be. I let the wind blow, I let the sun shine, I let life live. It was beautiful to let myself be happy. I forgot abut everything and let the things that truly matter be the dawning sun in my powder sky. Such simple smiles, moments lasting lifetimes between our eyes, having you by my side in sweet silence.
Just having you in my life and knowing that you’re there for me makes my day that much better.
But it’s comforting to know that I don’t have to completely depend on you for my happiness. Yeah, I wish things were different. But until they are, I have to be myself and paint my own world pink.
“If you have an addictive personality, you have to have help from outside yourself. Not a person, or an organization necessarily. Something deeper than that. Some force outside you and stronger than you, that you can turn to when you feel weak.” -Smack
It’s love. My addiction. The hearts that write the stories of our lives, another ounce of blood injected into my mine with each fairytale word. Every drop makes me stronger, every drop makes me weaker. I drink it until I sweat it; I breathe it until it pours from my heart like a waterfall and runs through my veins, thirsting towards every cell in my sunlit body. I get drunk off of it, it gives me a high. Elation, where everything is bold and true but outlined in a faint glimmer of sugar, glittered with tiny pixels of the beating heart, the sweaty palms, the weak knees. Love doesn’t need an embodiment, no flesh and no scars. It’s comforting to have the warmth of a soul wrapped around you, melting into you as your dreams blend into effervescent euphoria. But the passionate sun on your back soothes without a hand. Its beams send shafts of dyes to paint the world in oils over the weathered canvas. Lovers go blind, and blind lovers see.
“ ‘Dandelion, I love you…’ And I thought that was magic. Loving someone. It’s not you and it’s not them. It’s not in you, its between you. It’s bigger and stronger than you are. That’s what I have. That’s all I have, when you think about it.” - Smack
I always know when I’m truly happy.
I let my hair dry without tying it back.
I talk to people I’ve never talked to before.
I dance in the shower while I sing.
I say how I feel, to anyone.
I talk to my dad.
“When you were younger, did you ever have something you were really passionate about, like I am about writing?”
“No… but I always envied those that did.”