Title: Act of Contrition
Author:
mad_maudlinFandom: SG-1
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1004
Characters: Teal'c, Hammond
Warning/spoilers: None
Synopsis: A tag to the episode "Cor-Ai." Teal'c and General Hammond discuss the nature of forgiveness.
A/N: Written for
sg_fic_uoa's fanfic tournament, Round One. The prompt was: Though justice be thy plea, consider this, / That, in the course of justice, none of us / Should see salvation. This got voted the favorite SG-1 story of the round.
Act of Contrition
by Mad Maudlin
The debriefing had ended long ago, and George Hammond was ready to head home to a hot meal and a phone call to his granddaughters; he was fairly certain that Jack O'Neill, at least, was already off-base, and Jackson and Carter would very shortly be evicted from their labs by security, a process that was necessary at least once a week. So it was somewhat surprising that he found Teal'c lingering in the briefing room, watching the quiescent stargate through the windows. "Something I can do for you?" he asked.
Teal'c didn't move; he might as well have been carved from wood. "My apologies, General Hammond," he said. "I did not intend to disturb you."
"Looks like I'm the one disturbing you here," George said, taking a few steps closer. Teal'c had washed off the Byrsa body paint and changed into a fresh uniform, but he still had the same pensive expression he'd worn when SG-1 returned from Cartago. The same expression as when he had unflinchingly described the Cor-Ai and its outcome. For all George knew, it was the same expression Teal'c had worn when Jack had informed him that no reinforcements from Earth were on their way to save him.
It would be lying to say George wasn't relieved to see Teal'c come through the 'gate alive and in one piece, but that wasn't nearly the end of it. There was still an elephant in the living room and it looked like he wasn't getting home without addressing it.
"You are not disturbing me," Teal'c said mildly, but as best George could tell he seemed distracted by something. No surprise there, of course.
"I was under the impression that Dr. Frasier ordered you to rest that leg," George said, offering Teal'c the opening.
"My symbiote has healed me," Teal'c said. Paused a moment. "I find rest difficult tonight."
"I don't blame you." George sat down near Teal'c, but not quite at the head of the table. "You want to talk about it?"
Teal'c was silent for a long time, long enough that George began to think that no, he did not want to talk-or at least, not to him. It was hardly something that he could press for, either. He was just in the process of standing up again when Teal'c-who was still looking out the window, still frozen in place-finally spoke.
He said, "I am troubled by mercy."
That wasn't exactly what George had been expecting, and he wasn't sure what to say to that. "Come again?" he asked.
"Hanno of Cartago has forgiven me for the death of his father," Teal'c said. " Daniel Jackson has forgiven me for bringing his wife to Apophis, and calls me friend. I did not ask for this."
"You didn't have to," George said. "You risked your life for both of them, from what I understand. You gave up your family and a position of some status. From where I'm sitting, you earned it."
"You speak as if mercy is a good to be bought and sold," Teal'c said. "If that is true, then surely I have earned very little of it, in comparison to what justice is owed."
George sighed. "Teal'c, I know you've been over the chain of command concept with Colonel O'Neill already."
"And if you truly believed in such a concept, you would have authorized my rescue." And now Teal'c looked at him, askance, one side of his face dimly lit by the gate room's nighttime lighting. "If I truly believed that, I would still be serving Apophis."
"I suppose you would," George allowed.
Teal'c looked back to the window, his face still blank. "Then you admit my crimes were great."
"I admit I don't even know half of them," George said. "And I don't want to. I'd much rather concern myself with your good works over the past couple months."
"Yet you would not deny justice to my victims," Teal'c asked, not accusing or even irate.
George, lost, spread his hands on the table top. "In this case, I can't rightly say what justice is."
Teal'c bowed his head, and there was another long silence. "Nor I."
That seemed to be the end of things, yet it wasn't an end that George could accept. He stood up and approached Teal'c, placing on hand on his shoulder. "Look, son, I don't pretend to know what you're going through right now," he said. "It's certainly not my place to judge your or to grant you absolution. But when it comes to Hanno and Dr. Jackson...well, just remember we've got a saying on Earth--'to err is human; to forgive, divine.'"
Teal'c looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "I have read of the gods of your world," he said. "They are...interesting."
And a discussion about religion with a Jaffa would be even more of a headache than a discussion about war crimes, so George said, "That they are. But the point is, Teal'c...the point is, we talk about mercy like something you earn. But it isn't, not always. Sometimes, a lot of the time, mercy is a gift that you're given. And it's a hell of a thing to turn a gift like that away."
"Even if I find myself unworthy of it?" Teal'c asked.
George laughed. "Hell, Teal'c, who ever is?"
Teal'c seemed to be thinking about that, or at least, George thought so-it was so damned hard to tell what was going on behind that face. Eventually he said, "You believe I should accept the forgiveness of Hanno and Daniel Jackson despite the great wrongs I have done them."
"I do," George said. "If it helps, think of it as an investment in your future behavior."
One side of Teal'c's mouth turned down, which must've been equivalent to a tantrum. "Yet my past crimes against them remain unpunished."
George squeezed his arm once more, then let him go. "I wouldn't quite say that," he said, and left Teal'c to stand by the window and watch the gate in silence.