beginnings of long discussion...head about to explode...had to write it out...not sure its coherent
I’m feeling frustrated for many reasons. Most of my frustration is politically/socially/economically driven.
I feel like I need to reiterate who I am and what I believe in.
I am a single-mom with an education. I have worked hard to put myself through an undergrad and a graduate program. I am a great mom. I am a child advocate. Not only do I advocate for young children, but also for teens; especially teen parents. I believe in the rights and responsibilities of everyone, including fathers and homosexuals. I believe in being socially and environmentally responsible. I believe in being good stewards of all that God has given us: our planet, our talents and gifts, our money, our bodies. I am working on being a better steward of these things; I’m a work in progress.
I believe very strongly that the main problem we as a nation face, is the break down of family. When I say the break down of family, I do not mean single-parent families or same sex families or never-married families. No, I mean that we, as a nation, have not put our families first. And you know what? Our families do need to come first. Yes, even before our country. If we do what is right for families, then we will be doing what is right for our country.
What do I mean by “putting our families first”? I mean that we are so focused on working and making money to pay for all the “stuff” that we don’t spend quality time with our children and loved ones. We insist on having access to everything we could possibly want 24/7. In Europe, you can’t shop after 6 pm, or on Sunday, because everything shuts down. Evenings and weekends are “family time.” You don’t mess with it. You don’t interrupt it. And no one ever apologizes for taking it.
Our children do not need every new toy or electronic or article of clothing out there. They need our time and attention. Children who receive our time and attention do not bring guns to school and go on shooting sprees. They don’t do drugs and they don’t get pregnant. When children are allowed to be children, they don’t need these other things. When a young girl knows and feels that she is loved by her family, she doesn’t have to seek love in unhealthy ways. That is not to say that they won’t experiment, but it is to say they are more likely to make healthy lifestyle choices. And if you have established an appropriate relationship with your child, then they’ll be talking to you about the choices they are making. And the choices that they and others’ children make may not be the choices you want them to make, but not everyone believes the same things. I am a good person. I am a caring person. I am a sincere person. And I am a Christian. What I am not is what my mother wanted me to be: a right-wing, overzealous religious fanatic, brain-washed, conformist. I may not live the life my mother wants me to live, but that doesn’t mean I’m making unhealthy choices. I hope and pray that I will accept the choices my son makes, so long as his choices are healthy and sincere, coming from the core of who he truly is.
The right-wing conservative segment of our society is determined to make us all live by their morals and beliefs. Now tell me, how will that work, exactly? This country was founded on the notion that every man is free to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Religion is a free choice; even the Bible tells us that God gave us free will. I believe God wants me to make informed decisions about what I believe and don’t believe and how that will factor in to my decision-making regarding my chosen lifestyle.
If we talk about abortion, we get into the argument of when life begins, etc. I believe that life begins at conception. I do believe that in a perfect world we would never have a person who “needed” or wanted an abortion. But, I know that we don’t live in a perfect world. If you are raped, who am I to tell you to “rise above” it and give birth to the child? If I learn my baby will be born with a life-shortening disease, or a gross abnormality, who are you to tell me I should have enough faith in God (who I may or may not believe in…and I’m speaking hypothetically here, as I do believe in God, but not everyone does) to be able to have this baby and deal with it? Or, worse, if I am 8 ½ months pregnant and learn that my baby has died in utero, who is anyone else to tell me that I must go through the labor process and give birth in the traditional way to a dead baby? And the truth is, folks, that is precisely what late-term abortion is about. People don’t get to that point in the pregnancy and say “you know what? I really don’t want this baby after all, so I think I’ll just run down to the local clinic and get an abortion!” No, these are babies that have serious, serious, all caps SERIOUS problems. They are either already dead, or will be soon, or will suffer horribly unfathomable pain to live. That is not to say they might rather be dead; that is to say that a late-term abortion is not a thing people go into lightly.
And if one really, truly wants to end abortion, I challenge them to work towards ending unplanned pregnancies. And that means more than teaching abstinence. Okay, people, here is where you need to get real. There is only one person who ever reads this blog that I know to be truly abstinent. And I think even she would acknowledge that it isn’t the easiest choice to live by. The rest of us aren’t (okay, I am, but not intentionally…and if I have the opportunity to break it, I WILL). So, if you think on it…how realistic is it to remain abstinent? If you are married, it is incredibly arrogant to assume that anyone not married should be abstinent. Think back to before you were married…were you abstinent then?
The statistics show that abstinence-only sex education is not working. If we look at the statistics in countries where birth control is actively taught and easily accessible, you will see that not only do they have incredibly low rates of unplanned pregnancies, but they also have low abortion rates and low STD rates. It is time for people to get off their high horses and get real. People have sex. Teenagers have sex. That is the reality. We can significantly reduce the number of abortions if we just accept that people have sex and teach them how to do so safely.
Again, if you want to end abortion, then donate your time. Volunteer at a local crisis pregnancy center. Put your words and beliefs into action. But please, don’t decide your vote based on where the candidate stands on abortion. Abortion will always be legal. And if it isn’t, it will still happen. If it is legal, we can ensure it is MEDICALLY safe for women. And we can tax the hell out of it, too.
I believe abortion should remain legal. This does not mean that I think abortion is okay, and I hope I will never be in a situation where I’ll have to make that kind of decision. I believe that prostitution should be legal. This does not mean I want to be a prostitute, or to have sex with a prostitute. I believe marijuana should be legal. Okay…I might smoke marijuana if it were legal, but then again, I might not.
I believe we need to be doing more to take care of our soldiers and their families. I’ve seen too many families being torn apart by this war. Lives are being destroyed. Not only with deaths, although that certainly is destructive, but more so in financial ways. People are losing their homes. Veterans are homeless. Our incarcerated citizens live better lives than our war veterans. This is wrong. In every way. I’ve said it before, and I will continue to say it: IF WE CANNOT AFFORD TO SUPPORT OUR VETERANS WHEN THEY RETURN HOME FROM THIS WAR, THEN WE SHOULD NOT BE IN THIS WAR. It is disgusting and a national shame in my opinion.
The environment. Oh lord. You know, this is where I start to realize that maybe I’m a socialist. I’m not really sure. I see the value of capitalism. What I don’t see the value of is this notion of “I can do whatever I want.” No one needs to drive a Hummer, okay? If you are not in a military conflict, you DO NOT NEED TO DRIVE A HUMMER!!!!! Not only is the Hummer an eyesore, it uses an absurd amount of gas (12 mpg, people? Seriously?), and if you are in a normal car (a sedan, let’s say…I’m not even talking about my Mini Cooper) and are struck by a Hummer, how do you think you’ll fare in that wreck? Yeah, you’ll be dead, seriously hurt, or at the least - completely without a functioning car. All because we believe as a society that if we don’t mind spending that much money on a vehicle and fueling it, then we have the right to drive it. The individuals in this nation have long believed that they could do whatever they want, hang the repercussions! I know there is evidence that global warming would be happening no matter what we did and I do believe that is true. However, we certainly could be speeding up the process with our irresponsible behavior. And even if it wasn’t bad for our environment in reference to global warming, we still only have a finite supply of oil and are allowing a segment of the population to decrease that supply much quicker than necessary.
Can we talk about those damn gay people? Guess what, people, much like those teens having sex, gay people don't stop being gay just because you believe it to be a sin. What does judging them for it do? Nothing. Let me share my personal story about how I came to make a decision about how I feel about homosexuality. Hopefully, my friend won't mind. I won't use her name, although I doubt she'd care.
When I was 20 years old, my best friend from high school wrote me a letter. In it, she said she had something to tell me, but she had to know I would still love her. "But I'm sure you already know" she wrote. I could not imagine what she was referring to. I wrote her back saying I would always love her and to just tell me, already. When I read the words "I'm gay" I was stunned. I put the letter down and walked away for several minutes. What was I to do? I thought that she should just be a-sexual. Then I thought "My gosh, who in hell do you think you are? She has the right to be in an intimate relationship, too." And I knew that condemning her or not being her friend anymore wouldn't change her. I accepted her as she was, but still quietly struggled with what I had been taught and what I wanted to believe. As I grew older and wiser, working with many children whose sexuality was clear at the tender age of 4, and considered the alienation and abuse and, in some cases, death that homosexuals suffer, I realized "no one chooses this." And so...all I am trying to say is just because you believe it is a sin, doesn't mean that gay people shouldn't still have rights and responsibilities.
How about our school systems? Our children are not being educated properly. Hell, most of us weren’t. We were taught what a certain sector of society wanted us to know. I did not know until about 2 weeks ago, the torture and imprisonment that the suffragists endured to ensure women were granted the right to vote. Again, if you want to see our children receive better educations, I challenge you to fight for it. Work for it. Vote for it. Bush’s “No Child Left Behind” is known by educators far and wide to be a load of bunk. It won’t succeed; it can’t succeed. Teaching to a test is not teaching. Children do not learn how to function as productive members of society that way.
We criticize the censorship and propaganda that takes place in communist countries, yet we have a woman who tried to ban books in Wasilla, Alaska on her way to becoming president of the USA. And yes, she is on her way to becoming president. Look at the stats. A man McCain’s age has about a 1 in 3 chance of not surviving his first term. If he does not, she will be the president. I don’t know about you, but that scares the piss out of me.
The last thing this country needs after having “that cowboy” (as the Europeans call him) representing us on the world stage is a redneck with all her “you betchas” and “dog gone its!” to speak for us. And I just want people in the oval office who can pronounce “nuclear” correctly. Really, is that too much to ask?
I feel like I need to reiterate who I am and what I believe in.
I am a single-mom with an education. I have worked hard to put myself through an undergrad and a graduate program. I am a great mom. I am a child advocate. Not only do I advocate for young children, but also for teens; especially teen parents. I believe in the rights and responsibilities of everyone, including fathers and homosexuals. I believe in being socially and environmentally responsible. I believe in being good stewards of all that God has given us: our planet, our talents and gifts, our money, our bodies. I am working on being a better steward of these things; I’m a work in progress.
I believe very strongly that the main problem we as a nation face, is the break down of family. When I say the break down of family, I do not mean single-parent families or same sex families or never-married families. No, I mean that we, as a nation, have not put our families first. And you know what? Our families do need to come first. Yes, even before our country. If we do what is right for families, then we will be doing what is right for our country.
What do I mean by “putting our families first”? I mean that we are so focused on working and making money to pay for all the “stuff” that we don’t spend quality time with our children and loved ones. We insist on having access to everything we could possibly want 24/7. In Europe, you can’t shop after 6 pm, or on Sunday, because everything shuts down. Evenings and weekends are “family time.” You don’t mess with it. You don’t interrupt it. And no one ever apologizes for taking it.
Our children do not need every new toy or electronic or article of clothing out there. They need our time and attention. Children who receive our time and attention do not bring guns to school and go on shooting sprees. They don’t do drugs and they don’t get pregnant. When children are allowed to be children, they don’t need these other things. When a young girl knows and feels that she is loved by her family, she doesn’t have to seek love in unhealthy ways. That is not to say that they won’t experiment, but it is to say they are more likely to make healthy lifestyle choices. And if you have established an appropriate relationship with your child, then they’ll be talking to you about the choices they are making. And the choices that they and others’ children make may not be the choices you want them to make, but not everyone believes the same things. I am a good person. I am a caring person. I am a sincere person. And I am a Christian. What I am not is what my mother wanted me to be: a right-wing, overzealous religious fanatic, brain-washed, conformist. I may not live the life my mother wants me to live, but that doesn’t mean I’m making unhealthy choices. I hope and pray that I will accept the choices my son makes, so long as his choices are healthy and sincere, coming from the core of who he truly is.
The right-wing conservative segment of our society is determined to make us all live by their morals and beliefs. Now tell me, how will that work, exactly? This country was founded on the notion that every man is free to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Religion is a free choice; even the Bible tells us that God gave us free will. I believe God wants me to make informed decisions about what I believe and don’t believe and how that will factor in to my decision-making regarding my chosen lifestyle.
If we talk about abortion, we get into the argument of when life begins, etc. I believe that life begins at conception. I do believe that in a perfect world we would never have a person who “needed” or wanted an abortion. But, I know that we don’t live in a perfect world. If you are raped, who am I to tell you to “rise above” it and give birth to the child? If I learn my baby will be born with a life-shortening disease, or a gross abnormality, who are you to tell me I should have enough faith in God (who I may or may not believe in…and I’m speaking hypothetically here, as I do believe in God, but not everyone does) to be able to have this baby and deal with it? Or, worse, if I am 8 ½ months pregnant and learn that my baby has died in utero, who is anyone else to tell me that I must go through the labor process and give birth in the traditional way to a dead baby? And the truth is, folks, that is precisely what late-term abortion is about. People don’t get to that point in the pregnancy and say “you know what? I really don’t want this baby after all, so I think I’ll just run down to the local clinic and get an abortion!” No, these are babies that have serious, serious, all caps SERIOUS problems. They are either already dead, or will be soon, or will suffer horribly unfathomable pain to live. That is not to say they might rather be dead; that is to say that a late-term abortion is not a thing people go into lightly.
And if one really, truly wants to end abortion, I challenge them to work towards ending unplanned pregnancies. And that means more than teaching abstinence. Okay, people, here is where you need to get real. There is only one person who ever reads this blog that I know to be truly abstinent. And I think even she would acknowledge that it isn’t the easiest choice to live by. The rest of us aren’t (okay, I am, but not intentionally…and if I have the opportunity to break it, I WILL). So, if you think on it…how realistic is it to remain abstinent? If you are married, it is incredibly arrogant to assume that anyone not married should be abstinent. Think back to before you were married…were you abstinent then?
The statistics show that abstinence-only sex education is not working. If we look at the statistics in countries where birth control is actively taught and easily accessible, you will see that not only do they have incredibly low rates of unplanned pregnancies, but they also have low abortion rates and low STD rates. It is time for people to get off their high horses and get real. People have sex. Teenagers have sex. That is the reality. We can significantly reduce the number of abortions if we just accept that people have sex and teach them how to do so safely.
Again, if you want to end abortion, then donate your time. Volunteer at a local crisis pregnancy center. Put your words and beliefs into action. But please, don’t decide your vote based on where the candidate stands on abortion. Abortion will always be legal. And if it isn’t, it will still happen. If it is legal, we can ensure it is MEDICALLY safe for women. And we can tax the hell out of it, too.
I believe abortion should remain legal. This does not mean that I think abortion is okay, and I hope I will never be in a situation where I’ll have to make that kind of decision. I believe that prostitution should be legal. This does not mean I want to be a prostitute, or to have sex with a prostitute. I believe marijuana should be legal. Okay…I might smoke marijuana if it were legal, but then again, I might not.
I believe we need to be doing more to take care of our soldiers and their families. I’ve seen too many families being torn apart by this war. Lives are being destroyed. Not only with deaths, although that certainly is destructive, but more so in financial ways. People are losing their homes. Veterans are homeless. Our incarcerated citizens live better lives than our war veterans. This is wrong. In every way. I’ve said it before, and I will continue to say it: IF WE CANNOT AFFORD TO SUPPORT OUR VETERANS WHEN THEY RETURN HOME FROM THIS WAR, THEN WE SHOULD NOT BE IN THIS WAR. It is disgusting and a national shame in my opinion.
The environment. Oh lord. You know, this is where I start to realize that maybe I’m a socialist. I’m not really sure. I see the value of capitalism. What I don’t see the value of is this notion of “I can do whatever I want.” No one needs to drive a Hummer, okay? If you are not in a military conflict, you DO NOT NEED TO DRIVE A HUMMER!!!!! Not only is the Hummer an eyesore, it uses an absurd amount of gas (12 mpg, people? Seriously?), and if you are in a normal car (a sedan, let’s say…I’m not even talking about my Mini Cooper) and are struck by a Hummer, how do you think you’ll fare in that wreck? Yeah, you’ll be dead, seriously hurt, or at the least - completely without a functioning car. All because we believe as a society that if we don’t mind spending that much money on a vehicle and fueling it, then we have the right to drive it. The individuals in this nation have long believed that they could do whatever they want, hang the repercussions! I know there is evidence that global warming would be happening no matter what we did and I do believe that is true. However, we certainly could be speeding up the process with our irresponsible behavior. And even if it wasn’t bad for our environment in reference to global warming, we still only have a finite supply of oil and are allowing a segment of the population to decrease that supply much quicker than necessary.
Can we talk about those damn gay people? Guess what, people, much like those teens having sex, gay people don't stop being gay just because you believe it to be a sin. What does judging them for it do? Nothing. Let me share my personal story about how I came to make a decision about how I feel about homosexuality. Hopefully, my friend won't mind. I won't use her name, although I doubt she'd care.
When I was 20 years old, my best friend from high school wrote me a letter. In it, she said she had something to tell me, but she had to know I would still love her. "But I'm sure you already know" she wrote. I could not imagine what she was referring to. I wrote her back saying I would always love her and to just tell me, already. When I read the words "I'm gay" I was stunned. I put the letter down and walked away for several minutes. What was I to do? I thought that she should just be a-sexual. Then I thought "My gosh, who in hell do you think you are? She has the right to be in an intimate relationship, too." And I knew that condemning her or not being her friend anymore wouldn't change her. I accepted her as she was, but still quietly struggled with what I had been taught and what I wanted to believe. As I grew older and wiser, working with many children whose sexuality was clear at the tender age of 4, and considered the alienation and abuse and, in some cases, death that homosexuals suffer, I realized "no one chooses this." And so...all I am trying to say is just because you believe it is a sin, doesn't mean that gay people shouldn't still have rights and responsibilities.
How about our school systems? Our children are not being educated properly. Hell, most of us weren’t. We were taught what a certain sector of society wanted us to know. I did not know until about 2 weeks ago, the torture and imprisonment that the suffragists endured to ensure women were granted the right to vote. Again, if you want to see our children receive better educations, I challenge you to fight for it. Work for it. Vote for it. Bush’s “No Child Left Behind” is known by educators far and wide to be a load of bunk. It won’t succeed; it can’t succeed. Teaching to a test is not teaching. Children do not learn how to function as productive members of society that way.
We criticize the censorship and propaganda that takes place in communist countries, yet we have a woman who tried to ban books in Wasilla, Alaska on her way to becoming president of the USA. And yes, she is on her way to becoming president. Look at the stats. A man McCain’s age has about a 1 in 3 chance of not surviving his first term. If he does not, she will be the president. I don’t know about you, but that scares the piss out of me.
The last thing this country needs after having “that cowboy” (as the Europeans call him) representing us on the world stage is a redneck with all her “you betchas” and “dog gone its!” to speak for us. And I just want people in the oval office who can pronounce “nuclear” correctly. Really, is that too much to ask?