Lyric #4 - 7/10
Title Blizzard Roses
Fandom Yu Yu Hakusho
Genre Angst/romance
Character(s) Kurama, Hiei, Yukina
Rating PG
Word Count 1327
Summary We all yearn for what we can never have, and Hiei is no exception. Reality keeps him from reaching out to the two most important people in his life, with torment creeping in even in his dreams. [One-shot] [Slight shounen ai]
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"I don't understand how I couldn't have known...you mean so much to me, brother. I'm sorry I was foolish!"
She pulled him into a soft embrace. Her fingers squeezed the end of his hand, hesitant to hold onto him completely, like a shy child reaching out for affection. Her skin was smooth against his own rough calloused palm. The touch surprised him and his shoulders instantly tensed. "Yukina..."
A mass of emotions rose up from his chest like a wave rising from the sea, but the words died at his lips. There was so much he wanted to say to her. "I'm the one who doesn't understand. You deserve to hate me, why...?"
She leaned back and sent him a perplexed look. The iris of her eyes were a starling red hue, the same color as his own. "You're talking nonsense Hiei-san. You're family and an amazing person." Tears ran down her cheeks silently. "Don't think I could ever hate you."
He was at a loss. He wished for her acceptance day after day, but cut himself short of it every time. She confided in him, he protected her, he wished for her happiness, but she couldn't know the truth. She was dangled in front of him constantly, something he yearned for but could never have.
I can't have you. The reality of the situation sunk in and hit him like a shock-wave. He made a rough sound with his voice. "This...isn't happening, is it?"
Yukina smiled sadly at him.
He wrapped his arms around her back, burying his face in her shoulder. Her silky hair brushed against his neck as he fought to keep her in reach.
Hiei felt her form melt away and turn into snow, disappearing from his grasp altogether. A chilling sensation swept across his body in a futile attempt to comfort him. "Yukina!"
The cold wind blew by and hit him in the face, adding to the frigid bitterness pushing against his chest. He said nothing, only stared down at the spot where she had been a moment ago. He dropped his arms to his side, resisting the urge to yell in frustration.
Of course she had only been an illusion. He felt a wave of shame come over him at acting so naive. To think that he had honestly believed it. Pathetic.
Someone appeared behind him. "You're the one who does this to yourself, you know."
Hiei jumped slightly, not expecting the sudden presence at his back. He narrowed his eyes and continued to gaze at the falling snow, not bothering to turn around. He knew who it was. "What are you doing here?" he grumbled.
Kurama shrugged, a half smile at his lips. "Don't ask me, this is your dream."
The fire demon wasn't in the mood for small talk. "I noticed. Well get out, I don't feel like having petty conversations with you right now."
Kurama ignored Hiei's frigid temper, noting the pained crack in his voice. Dreaming about Yukina always unnerved him. "I can't go anywhere. I'm stuck here for a reason. Like I said, this is your dream." he pointed out.
Hiei said nothing in a reply, so he walked over and stood beside him. "It's strange," Kurama said, peering at the surroundings, "one would think that you'd dream of Makai. I didn't know you were a fan of beautiful scenery."
They stood on the porch of Genkai's temple, looking out into the distance. An endless sheet of white glittered across the ground and treetops with the snow drifting lazily down from the sky. The air smelled heavy of frosted pine-trees that rose into the mountains. "It's like a painting." Kurama remarked.
Hiei swung his eyes to the boy, a cynical expression on his face. Kurama seemed lost among the winter scape with his bright red hair, like a cardinal perched in the snow. "I'm not." Hiei snapped. "I have no idea why we're here. I have no idea why you're here, either."
Kurama leaned forward on the railing. "You chose this background because snow reminds you of Yukina, doesn't it?"
Hiei's frown deepened.
"Why don't you just tell her?" he pressed.
"Because-" Hiei snapped, swinging a burning gaze to the kitsune, "I don't deserve to have her as a sister. You think she'd be happy to be related to me?" he paused, regretting his outburst immediately. He hated showing weakness in front of others, but Kurama always seemed to pull his issues right out of him. "Dammit, we've had this conversation before. Don't make me repeat myself."
Kurama surveyed the horizon, emerald green eyes distant and turned away from the fire youkai. "I only think it's sad that you can't allow yourself to believe she'd be happy you're her long lost brother."
He scoffed. "I don't want your pity."
"I'm not feeling sorry for you."
Hiei turned and shoved him roughly, managing to knock him off balance despite being shorter in size. "Why are you here?!" Hiei growled, his temper lighting up his voice. Kurama stumbled back a few feet, but caught himself before he could fall. "I don't remember telling you to become my conscience. I don't have one, don't need one, and sure as hell don't want you to be it!"
Kurama shot out and grabbed both of Hiei's wrists, jerking him forward before he could react. It was his turn to fall over, smacking face first into Kurama's chest. "That was uncalled for, I'm only tying to help you. You're ridiculously stubborn, you're going to break your own spirit if you don't stop tormenting yourself."
The grip was so tight that it stung, and as much as he thrashed he couldn't break free. The kitsune's hands were soft and unbearable at the same time. "Dammit! Get off!" He let out a string of curses as his lips tilted downwards into a sneer, giving him the appearance of a cornered wolf. "Fool, I'll never give up, I'll never break, now LET GO!"
Kurama was deaf to his threats and he wrapped his arms around Hiei's shoulders, strengthening his hold on him. "Didn't you hear your sister's words? She probably feels the same, there's a connection between you two, and you're making yourself the brother she can never have. You're dreaming about the people you want most in this world."
Hiei shook his head, trying to pull backwards out of his arms. The sweetness of roses and earthy smell of the woods mixed together to form Kurama's scent. It was all he could sense and it made him want to break free even more. Pure torture again, just as it had been with Yukina. "Does that mean I can't have you either, you stupid fox?"
Hiei felt a slight rumble in his chest as Kurama chuckled in amusement. "No, they're attainable, you just won't let yourself believe it." he said.
He opened his mouth in a reply, but was stunned into silence when Kurama brushed his lips against the side of his face. "No one's really out of reach. So wake up and quit having these dreams."
He let go and pushed the fire demon away from him. The sound of whip cracked in the air, and Kurama disappeared into a mass of crimson roses. "Wait a second!" Hiei yelled as he gripped in air blindly, falling backwards into the snow.
The splash of red evaporated as his surroundings faded into a blur of white. Hiei felt himself drift away into a churning blizzard, the cold taking him back into it's depths.
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His eyes shot open.
He bolted upright, mind a whirl of haze and confusion. "What?"
Immediately he noticed his location. He was sitting on a thick branch, safe and in Ningenkai. What else had he expected? The first rays of morning sunlight drifted in between the leaves, creating bright dapples on the bark. No snow anywhere. "Stupid dream." he murmured.
He picked up the lone rose he held in his grasp. He glared at it, rubbing the petals between his fingers. "Hm." He ripped the flower apart and tossed it's petals into the air. A chilly wind blew by and carried them off out of his sight. "It means nothing."
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Fandom Yu Yu Hakusho
Genre Angst/romance
Character(s) Kurama, Hiei, Yukina
Rating PG
Word Count 1327
Summary We all yearn for what we can never have, and Hiei is no exception. Reality keeps him from reaching out to the two most important people in his life, with torment creeping in even in his dreams. [One-shot] [Slight shounen ai]
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"I don't understand how I couldn't have known...you mean so much to me, brother. I'm sorry I was foolish!"
She pulled him into a soft embrace. Her fingers squeezed the end of his hand, hesitant to hold onto him completely, like a shy child reaching out for affection. Her skin was smooth against his own rough calloused palm. The touch surprised him and his shoulders instantly tensed. "Yukina..."
A mass of emotions rose up from his chest like a wave rising from the sea, but the words died at his lips. There was so much he wanted to say to her. "I'm the one who doesn't understand. You deserve to hate me, why...?"
She leaned back and sent him a perplexed look. The iris of her eyes were a starling red hue, the same color as his own. "You're talking nonsense Hiei-san. You're family and an amazing person." Tears ran down her cheeks silently. "Don't think I could ever hate you."
He was at a loss. He wished for her acceptance day after day, but cut himself short of it every time. She confided in him, he protected her, he wished for her happiness, but she couldn't know the truth. She was dangled in front of him constantly, something he yearned for but could never have.
I can't have you. The reality of the situation sunk in and hit him like a shock-wave. He made a rough sound with his voice. "This...isn't happening, is it?"
Yukina smiled sadly at him.
He wrapped his arms around her back, burying his face in her shoulder. Her silky hair brushed against his neck as he fought to keep her in reach.
Hiei felt her form melt away and turn into snow, disappearing from his grasp altogether. A chilling sensation swept across his body in a futile attempt to comfort him. "Yukina!"
The cold wind blew by and hit him in the face, adding to the frigid bitterness pushing against his chest. He said nothing, only stared down at the spot where she had been a moment ago. He dropped his arms to his side, resisting the urge to yell in frustration.
Of course she had only been an illusion. He felt a wave of shame come over him at acting so naive. To think that he had honestly believed it. Pathetic.
Someone appeared behind him. "You're the one who does this to yourself, you know."
Hiei jumped slightly, not expecting the sudden presence at his back. He narrowed his eyes and continued to gaze at the falling snow, not bothering to turn around. He knew who it was. "What are you doing here?" he grumbled.
Kurama shrugged, a half smile at his lips. "Don't ask me, this is your dream."
The fire demon wasn't in the mood for small talk. "I noticed. Well get out, I don't feel like having petty conversations with you right now."
Kurama ignored Hiei's frigid temper, noting the pained crack in his voice. Dreaming about Yukina always unnerved him. "I can't go anywhere. I'm stuck here for a reason. Like I said, this is your dream." he pointed out.
Hiei said nothing in a reply, so he walked over and stood beside him. "It's strange," Kurama said, peering at the surroundings, "one would think that you'd dream of Makai. I didn't know you were a fan of beautiful scenery."
They stood on the porch of Genkai's temple, looking out into the distance. An endless sheet of white glittered across the ground and treetops with the snow drifting lazily down from the sky. The air smelled heavy of frosted pine-trees that rose into the mountains. "It's like a painting." Kurama remarked.
Hiei swung his eyes to the boy, a cynical expression on his face. Kurama seemed lost among the winter scape with his bright red hair, like a cardinal perched in the snow. "I'm not." Hiei snapped. "I have no idea why we're here. I have no idea why you're here, either."
Kurama leaned forward on the railing. "You chose this background because snow reminds you of Yukina, doesn't it?"
Hiei's frown deepened.
"Why don't you just tell her?" he pressed.
"Because-" Hiei snapped, swinging a burning gaze to the kitsune, "I don't deserve to have her as a sister. You think she'd be happy to be related to me?" he paused, regretting his outburst immediately. He hated showing weakness in front of others, but Kurama always seemed to pull his issues right out of him. "Dammit, we've had this conversation before. Don't make me repeat myself."
Kurama surveyed the horizon, emerald green eyes distant and turned away from the fire youkai. "I only think it's sad that you can't allow yourself to believe she'd be happy you're her long lost brother."
He scoffed. "I don't want your pity."
"I'm not feeling sorry for you."
Hiei turned and shoved him roughly, managing to knock him off balance despite being shorter in size. "Why are you here?!" Hiei growled, his temper lighting up his voice. Kurama stumbled back a few feet, but caught himself before he could fall. "I don't remember telling you to become my conscience. I don't have one, don't need one, and sure as hell don't want you to be it!"
Kurama shot out and grabbed both of Hiei's wrists, jerking him forward before he could react. It was his turn to fall over, smacking face first into Kurama's chest. "That was uncalled for, I'm only tying to help you. You're ridiculously stubborn, you're going to break your own spirit if you don't stop tormenting yourself."
The grip was so tight that it stung, and as much as he thrashed he couldn't break free. The kitsune's hands were soft and unbearable at the same time. "Dammit! Get off!" He let out a string of curses as his lips tilted downwards into a sneer, giving him the appearance of a cornered wolf. "Fool, I'll never give up, I'll never break, now LET GO!"
Kurama was deaf to his threats and he wrapped his arms around Hiei's shoulders, strengthening his hold on him. "Didn't you hear your sister's words? She probably feels the same, there's a connection between you two, and you're making yourself the brother she can never have. You're dreaming about the people you want most in this world."
Hiei shook his head, trying to pull backwards out of his arms. The sweetness of roses and earthy smell of the woods mixed together to form Kurama's scent. It was all he could sense and it made him want to break free even more. Pure torture again, just as it had been with Yukina. "Does that mean I can't have you either, you stupid fox?"
Hiei felt a slight rumble in his chest as Kurama chuckled in amusement. "No, they're attainable, you just won't let yourself believe it." he said.
He opened his mouth in a reply, but was stunned into silence when Kurama brushed his lips against the side of his face. "No one's really out of reach. So wake up and quit having these dreams."
He let go and pushed the fire demon away from him. The sound of whip cracked in the air, and Kurama disappeared into a mass of crimson roses. "Wait a second!" Hiei yelled as he gripped in air blindly, falling backwards into the snow.
The splash of red evaporated as his surroundings faded into a blur of white. Hiei felt himself drift away into a churning blizzard, the cold taking him back into it's depths.
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xxx
His eyes shot open.
He bolted upright, mind a whirl of haze and confusion. "What?"
Immediately he noticed his location. He was sitting on a thick branch, safe and in Ningenkai. What else had he expected? The first rays of morning sunlight drifted in between the leaves, creating bright dapples on the bark. No snow anywhere. "Stupid dream." he murmured.
He picked up the lone rose he held in his grasp. He glared at it, rubbing the petals between his fingers. "Hm." He ripped the flower apart and tossed it's petals into the air. A chilly wind blew by and carried them off out of his sight. "It means nothing."
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