Don't Look Down (Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego, The Dying Informant; Alien Invasion)
Title: "Don't Look Down"
Author: Crystal Rose of Pollux (rose_of_pollux)
Claim: Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? (The Dying Informant)
Table: Do-it-Yourself
Prompt: Alien Invasion
Rating: High PG/low PG13
Summary: Aliens are among us... and they're loitering in our alleys
Warnings: ...just a touch of villainy
Will be cross-posted to 31_days, 30_hugs, and the V.I.L.E. Headquarters fanfic forum.
Author’s Note: This fic was inspired by a creative writing assignment involving to write something about a character being in a situation that was "alien" to him. And so I interpreted it quite literally, remembering the Informant sketch in “The Bee Bird Burglary” ep in season 3, which was a Kneemoi ep, and it's largely based on that episode/sketch, as well as partially inspired by today's 31 Days prompt, "In a back alley (with allies)." This fic is actually a bit more lighthearted than the other ones so far; I tried to put some humor into this one. As always, the characters aren’t mine and the story is. Thanks to Lucky_Ladybug for plot help, especially with the cat/allergy nonsense!
*********************************
“Infy!” a familiar voice called. “Infy, are you in there? We’ve got a situation on our hands!”
The Informant recognized the voice; it was his closest friend on the force: the ACME Messengernet Messenger. He usually was the one who alerted the agency about Carmen’s latest misdeeds, and the Informant had a feeling that this latest call would be no different.
“Something wrong, Bro?” he asked, upon opening the door.
“Well, no… unless you count an entire population of hummingbirds going missing,” the Messenger said.
The Informant thwacked himself with the book in frustration. So much for a day off…
“Who did it?” he asked.
“Kneemoi,” came the reply. “The details are in this Snowball-gram--”
The Informant hit the dirt, his hands over his head, keen on avoiding the soon-to-be-flung snow.
“Kidding!” the Messenger grinned. “It’s on regular paper this time!”
The Informant grinned back before tossing his book aside.
“Well, so much for taking a day off,” he said, good-naturedly. “I was hoping to finish that mystery thriller, but…”
“Mystery thriller?” asked the Messenger, glancing at his best friend with an amused expression. “Infy, your life is a mystery thriller!”
The Informant paused to consider his friend’s words. And with a grin, he had to agree.
“Some of the new recruits are already on the case,” the Messenger said, as they departed the room. “Until we get more information, though, Kneemoi’s location is still a mystery in its own right.”
“What would Kneemoi want with a flock of hummingbirds, anyway?” the Informant mused aloud.
“Must be a hobby they have on Roddenberry,” suggested the Messenger. “I want to know how Carmen recruited an alien--”
He was cut of by a flash and a scream emitting from the ACME computer lab. The two agents exchanged glances and ran in the direction of the lab, arriving at the same time as the Inspector. All three of them were stunned to see the ACME Crimenet Computer on the fritz, smoking from apparently short-circuiting. But they were more concerned upon seeing their friend, the ACME Tech-Net Techie, unconscious on the lab floor.
The Informant was at his side in an instant.
“Is he…?” began the Inspector.
“I think he’s alright,” said the Informant, relieved that the Techie’s pulse was normal.
“He must’ve gotten a nasty jolt, though,” said the Messenger, frowning at the broken computer. “How could this have happened? He’s usually so careful…”
The Techie groaned, beginning to stir, much to the Informant’s relief.
“How’re you feeling, Man?” he asked, as the Techie’s eyes opened.
“Forget about me,” the Techie replied. “The Crimenet Computer… what happened to it…?” He glanced at the broken computer, his eyes widened in disbelief as he saw the extent of the damage done to his pet project. “No; I spent years perfecting this thing, and now…”
“Be glad that you’re not in that shape!” chided the Messenger. “Infy and I saw the flash; you could’ve ended up a lot worse than this!”
“This wasn’t even supposed to happen,” he said. “It was working fine five minutes ago. I went to get a sandwich from the mess hall, and when I returned, it started breaking down. And when I went to fix it…” He gestured at the end result. “This is what happened.”
“Someone must have tampered with it,” said the Inspector, frowning.
“We’ve been infiltrated!?” yelped the Informant.
“It’s possible,” he replied.
“Hey…” said the Techie, striking his ear in confusion. “Is it just a leftover from the charge, or am I hearing something buzzing?”
“I hear it,” said the Informant, listening also. “It sounds like…”
“…Hummingbirds…?” offered the Messenger. He and the Informant exchanged glances.
“Kneemoi!” they both exclaimed in unison.
“But what is she doing here!?” asked the Informant, helping the Techie to his feet. “She knows we’re on her trail.”
“She’s either really sure of herself, or she doesn’t have a clue as to what she’s doing,” said the Inspector, as the four of them headed to the back alley.
They came to a halt as they saw the pink alien being hovering above them with a cage full of hummingbirds. She yelped in surprise as she noticed the agents.
“Kneemoi!” the Informant yelled. “You’re under arrest for heisting those hummingbirds!”
Kneemoi chose to retreat. She flew higher, tossing the cage through an open window, and then entering through the window herself.
“She… She just went into Mrs. Pumpkinclanger’s apartment!” said the Messenger, in disbelief.
“Ooooh…” all four of them flinched in unison.
“Wait a sec,” said the Informant. “Who are we feeling sorry for-Mrs. Pumpkinclanger, or Kneemoi?”
They exchanged glances, shrugging in reply.
“Well, at any rate, we can have Kneemoi on charges of theft, resisting arrest, and breaking and entering,” mused the Inspector.
“Speaking of which, me may have to resort to that to apprehend Kneemoi,” said the Techie. “I need to have a word with her after she sabotaged my pet project!”
“Then let’s go apprehend her!” said the Informant, about to charge into the building where the crook had fled.
“We’ll have to be careful,” said the Messenger. “There’re some contractors working on the roof; we can’t let them see us go in.”
“He’s right,” agreed the Inspector, the midsummer sun hindering his view of the rooftop. “And judging from the sounds up there, they’d have a perfect view of the front entrance.”
“But there’s no back way in this alley!” exclaimed the Informant. “How do you expect us to go in-through the window? You’d need to find someone who could fit…” He trailed off, realizing that his colleagues were all looking at him.
“What a great idea,” the Messenger grinned. “And wouldn’t fate have it that you’re just the right size for that window?”
“Uh…” the young detective glanced at the window, swallowing hard as he tried to eyeball the height. “You know, I just remembered that I have an important phone call to make--”
He tried to scuttle away, but found himself seized by three pairs of hands.
“Come on, Infy; you’re the only one who can climb up there,” said the Messenger. “And you won’t be alone; we’ll try to slip in nonchalantly through the front door, and you can let us in.”
“But how am I supposed to reach that…?” the Informant asked, perplexed.
****************************
He soon received his answer; one by one, the agents stood on each others’ shoulders in the alley, right in front of the apartment: the Inspector supporting Messenger, who was supporting the Techie, who was supporting the Informant, who was now eye level with Mrs. Pumpkinclanger’s flowerbox. The scent of the flowers wafted into his nostrils as his fingers gripped the wooden windowledge.
“Oh, this isn’t conspicuous at all…” the youth muttered, sarcastically.
“Can you see anything!?” the Messenger called from below.
“Not really…” he replied, opening the window. “Just some furniture, the TV, the lamp…” He let out a cry as something mad and furry crossed his line of vision.
“What is it!?” asked the Techie.
“Cat!” the Informant exclaimed, staring down Mrs. Pumpkinclanger’s pet Siamese cat. He frowned, trying to wave her away. The cat merely hissed at him, lashing her tail in vexation.
“Never mind the cat; is anyone else home?” asked the Inspector, keen on getting the weight off of his shoulders.
“Not as far as I can tell…”
“Then get in there, already!” he quipped.
Ignoring the cat’s protests, the Informant pulled himself through the window. She proceeded to attack his trenchcoat with her claws.
“Hey!” he quietly snapped, pulling the fabric out of the cat’s reach. “I paid for this out of my own salary!”
But his main concern was finding Kneemoi. After seeing that his colleagues had managed to get their feet back on the ground and were approaching the front entrance, he crossed through the front door to quietly let them in. Somewhere in a different room, Mrs. Pumpkinclanger was mumbling in her sleep.
“I don’t know where Kneemoi is,” he whispered, as they entered. “Mrs. P is asleep, so we’ll have to be quiet…” He trailed off as the Messenger’s nose twitched. “What’s with you?”
“I… I think my allergies are getting to me…” he replied, stifling a sneeze.
“What allergies?” asked the Techie.
The Messenger stared pointedly at the cat, and the Informant slapped his forehead in exasperation.
“Just… don’t sneeze,” he said at last.
“Easier said than done,” the Messenger replied, his eyes already starting to turn red from the amount of cat hair in the air and on the furniture.
“Listen; there’s that humming again,” said the Inspector, as the Messenger stifled another sneeze.
“It’s coming from the kitchen,” said the Techie.
“Right…” said the Informant, his badge at the ready. “Let’s go!”
The four of them entered the room.
“Kneemoi, you’re under arrest for the theft of the hummingbirds, breaking and entering--”
Kneemoi gave them a puzzled expression.
“Breaking and entering? But what are you doing now?”
“We’re agents; we’re entitled,” said the Messenger, desperately trying to shoo the cat away from him.
“…And you’re also under arrest for tampering with and sabotaging the ACME Crimenet Computer!” added the Techie, upset at the prospect of the long process of repairing it.
“The computer?” asked the alien, confused. “But I didn’t go anywhere near it! I did let a computer repairman in to your building, though. I guess he made a mistake.”
“We don’t have a computer repair service, we have him,” said the Informant, indicating the bewildered Techie.
“I know!” said Kneemoi. “I’ll go find him!”
“Oh, no you don’t!” said the Inspector, blocking the kitchen door. “Hand over those hummingbirds!”
The cat finally noticed the alien and the hummingbirds in her grasp. With an angry meow, she lunged at them both, her tail slapping the Messenger in the face. He could not hold back the sneeze this time as madness began to break loose.
“What is going on out there!?” an annoyed voice asked from one of the rooms.
“Uh-oh...” said the Informant. “If she sees us in here, we’ll never hear the end of it.”
“Okay, then!” said Kneemoi, cheerfully ignoring the scratch that the cat had given her. “Goodbye!”
Grabbing the cage, she flew out the window.
“Hey!” exclaimed the Informant. Struggling not to trip over the cat, the four agents escaped into the corridor, barreling up the stair onto the roof where Kneemoi had just arrived, exhausted from the weight of the cage. A contractor was working hard upon the roof, apparently oblivious to the agents and the alien.
“You… you Earthlings don’t give up…” she observed.
“Hopefully, you will?” asked the Informant, a bit tired of the Chase by this time.
Kneemoi sighed; she was definitely considering it.
There was a sudden meowing and a fresh wave of sneezes from the Messenger as the Siamese cat came up to join them. With a frown, the Messenger attempted once again to shoo the cat away. He stepped on a portion of the roof that was covered with a tarp, and, without warning, he fell through it with a cry, his fingertips just managing to hang on to the edge of the hole.
The Informant cried out at the sight of his friend falling through the roof.
“Don’t take another step!” the contractor ordered. “I’ve covered the holes in the roof with tarp; you’ll let the rain in!”
“But what about getting him out!?” the young detective protested, gesturing to his friend.
The Inspector and the Techie both stepped forward to help the Messenger out of the hole when more areas of the tarp gave way beneath them. They, too, managed to grab on to the edges of the holes, holding on for dear life.
“What are you doing!?” cried the Informant.
“You!” exclaimed Kneemoi. “You were the one who pretended to be the computer repairman!”
“You sabotaged my computer!?” the Techie yelped, trying not to look down.
“You could’ve seriously hurt him! And you’re giving contractors and repairmen bad names!” the Informant fumed, having gone undercover as a contractor once before.
“You think I’m concerned about that?” the man snarled at him. “I’m with V.I.L.E.! Kneemoi, get out of here!”
Kneemoi hesitated. Clearly, she did not think too much of this underhanded attempt of an escape. Too tired to argue, though, she decided to flee, hauling the heavy cage behind her.
“I hope you realize that we can take you in on the charges of allowing a criminal to escape!” the Informant snarled, as the contractor brandished a wrench at him.
“It’s not over yet!” said the Techie. He grabbed something from his pocket and threw it at the Informant, who caught it. “It’s a tracking device; I managed to place a tracking chip on the hummingbirds’ cage! I don’t know how long it’ll last, but you can at least track Kneemoi down until it falls!”
“And speaking of falling,” sneered the contractor. “Hand over that tracking device, or your friends will be falling.”
“Don’t listen to him!” said the Inspector, trying, and failing, to pull himself out of the hole. “You need to find out where Kneemoi is!”
“So you’re the Dying Informant?” the cruel man sneered. He advanced forward, causing the Informant to take a few step backwards to distance himself from the creep. “I don’t think that your friends will be able to hang on much longer. You do want to save them, don’t you? Or do you simply not care?”
“Don’t let him get to you, Infy!” yelled the Messenger, still feeling the effects of the cat hair. “You know what you have to do; we’re expendable!”
“To ACME, maybe!” the Informant replied. “But you guys are my best friends!”
“Your duty to ACME comes first!” the Inspector reminded him. “You took an oath to serve ACME, remember?”
“Yeah, but…” He didn’t have to be reminded of how his line of work would force him to choose between success on a mission versus the well-being of his friends. The last time it happened, he had chosen to stand by his friends, resulting in a failed mission. He couldn’t let it happen again, nor could he let his friends fall. He would have to do what he knew best: stall for time until his friends could find a way up.
He continued to slowly retreat backwards.
“Infy!” the Messenger cried. “Infy, look out! You’re running out of roof!”
His warning came too late; the Informant tried desperately to regain his balance as he stood on a small trellis at the very edge of the roof. But it was a substandard piece of wood that the contractor had used, and with a sickening crack, the trellis splintered to pieces just as the Messenger had pulled himself out of the hole.
“NO!” he yelled, as his younger colleague fell. Furious, the Messenger placed the cuffs on the contractor, who hadn’t even noticed that he had escaped from the hole; the Informant had successfully created the diversion required… but at what cost!?
The Messenger finally dared to look, and was astounded to see his best friend alive and well, hanging on to Mrs. Pumpkinclanger’s flowerbox for dear life.
“Infy, hang on!” said the Messenger.
“That’s what I’m doing!” he cried, as the flowerbox threatened to break.
**********************************
What transpired next was nothing short of a fiasco. The Messenger hurriedly pulled the Techie and the Inspector from the hole while the Informant tracked Kneemoi to Lake Geneva. He was able to relay this info to the Recruiting Officer before he lost his grip upon the flowerbox. Grabbing onto a shutter as he fell, his fall was slowed to the extent that he wasn’t too worse for the wear upon landing, save for a couple sprained ankles.
“You know, I think the people who work at the ACME infirmary are getting really tired of seeing my face,” he said, light-heartedly as he had a pair of splints attached to his ankles.
The Messenger, who was being treated for his allergies, wasn’t amused.
“I’m sorry, Infy,” he said, bitterly. “I didn’t make it down in time to help you. Dumb cat had my head too clouded…”
“It’s alright,” the young detective grinned. “We both made it through, didn’t we?”
The Messenger sneezed again.
“Barely…”
“Well,” sighed the Techie, as he and the Inspector entered the infirmary. “There is some good news in all of this. The V.I.L.E. contractor is behind bars, and I think I figured out what he did to the Crimenet Computer. I should have it fixed after an all-nighter.”
“Don’t lose too much sleep over it,” advised the Inspector. “And I also have news that the some of the new recruits are closing in on Kneemoi. We’ll get those hummingbirds back.”
The Informant nodded. His previous experiences had told him not to be too disheartened with a less-than-successful mission. And this one hadn’t ended so badly. They had captured one V.I.L.E. agent, and were closing in on another. His friends were alright, and so was he, save for a couple of sprained ankles.
He sighed, grabbing the mystery thriller on his bedside table. Maybe now he’d actually get a chance to finish the book.
The phone was ringing, and the Messenger casually answered it. His expression grew concerned.
“What happened?” asked the Informant. “Did Kneemoi get away?”
“No, worse-Mrs. Pumpkinclanger wants to know why her kitchen is wrecked, why her cat in annoyed, and why her flowerbox is ruined.”
The Informant flinched, slamming his book shut. It was still going to be a long day…
Author: Crystal Rose of Pollux (rose_of_pollux)
Claim: Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? (The Dying Informant)
Table: Do-it-Yourself
Prompt: Alien Invasion
Rating: High PG/low PG13
Summary: Aliens are among us... and they're loitering in our alleys
Warnings: ...just a touch of villainy
Will be cross-posted to 31_days, 30_hugs, and the V.I.L.E. Headquarters fanfic forum.
Author’s Note: This fic was inspired by a creative writing assignment involving to write something about a character being in a situation that was "alien" to him. And so I interpreted it quite literally, remembering the Informant sketch in “The Bee Bird Burglary” ep in season 3, which was a Kneemoi ep, and it's largely based on that episode/sketch, as well as partially inspired by today's 31 Days prompt, "In a back alley (with allies)." This fic is actually a bit more lighthearted than the other ones so far; I tried to put some humor into this one. As always, the characters aren’t mine and the story is. Thanks to Lucky_Ladybug for plot help, especially with the cat/allergy nonsense!
*********************************
“Infy!” a familiar voice called. “Infy, are you in there? We’ve got a situation on our hands!”
The Informant recognized the voice; it was his closest friend on the force: the ACME Messengernet Messenger. He usually was the one who alerted the agency about Carmen’s latest misdeeds, and the Informant had a feeling that this latest call would be no different.
“Something wrong, Bro?” he asked, upon opening the door.
“Well, no… unless you count an entire population of hummingbirds going missing,” the Messenger said.
The Informant thwacked himself with the book in frustration. So much for a day off…
“Who did it?” he asked.
“Kneemoi,” came the reply. “The details are in this Snowball-gram--”
The Informant hit the dirt, his hands over his head, keen on avoiding the soon-to-be-flung snow.
“Kidding!” the Messenger grinned. “It’s on regular paper this time!”
The Informant grinned back before tossing his book aside.
“Well, so much for taking a day off,” he said, good-naturedly. “I was hoping to finish that mystery thriller, but…”
“Mystery thriller?” asked the Messenger, glancing at his best friend with an amused expression. “Infy, your life is a mystery thriller!”
The Informant paused to consider his friend’s words. And with a grin, he had to agree.
“Some of the new recruits are already on the case,” the Messenger said, as they departed the room. “Until we get more information, though, Kneemoi’s location is still a mystery in its own right.”
“What would Kneemoi want with a flock of hummingbirds, anyway?” the Informant mused aloud.
“Must be a hobby they have on Roddenberry,” suggested the Messenger. “I want to know how Carmen recruited an alien--”
He was cut of by a flash and a scream emitting from the ACME computer lab. The two agents exchanged glances and ran in the direction of the lab, arriving at the same time as the Inspector. All three of them were stunned to see the ACME Crimenet Computer on the fritz, smoking from apparently short-circuiting. But they were more concerned upon seeing their friend, the ACME Tech-Net Techie, unconscious on the lab floor.
The Informant was at his side in an instant.
“Is he…?” began the Inspector.
“I think he’s alright,” said the Informant, relieved that the Techie’s pulse was normal.
“He must’ve gotten a nasty jolt, though,” said the Messenger, frowning at the broken computer. “How could this have happened? He’s usually so careful…”
The Techie groaned, beginning to stir, much to the Informant’s relief.
“How’re you feeling, Man?” he asked, as the Techie’s eyes opened.
“Forget about me,” the Techie replied. “The Crimenet Computer… what happened to it…?” He glanced at the broken computer, his eyes widened in disbelief as he saw the extent of the damage done to his pet project. “No; I spent years perfecting this thing, and now…”
“Be glad that you’re not in that shape!” chided the Messenger. “Infy and I saw the flash; you could’ve ended up a lot worse than this!”
“This wasn’t even supposed to happen,” he said. “It was working fine five minutes ago. I went to get a sandwich from the mess hall, and when I returned, it started breaking down. And when I went to fix it…” He gestured at the end result. “This is what happened.”
“Someone must have tampered with it,” said the Inspector, frowning.
“We’ve been infiltrated!?” yelped the Informant.
“It’s possible,” he replied.
“Hey…” said the Techie, striking his ear in confusion. “Is it just a leftover from the charge, or am I hearing something buzzing?”
“I hear it,” said the Informant, listening also. “It sounds like…”
“…Hummingbirds…?” offered the Messenger. He and the Informant exchanged glances.
“Kneemoi!” they both exclaimed in unison.
“But what is she doing here!?” asked the Informant, helping the Techie to his feet. “She knows we’re on her trail.”
“She’s either really sure of herself, or she doesn’t have a clue as to what she’s doing,” said the Inspector, as the four of them headed to the back alley.
They came to a halt as they saw the pink alien being hovering above them with a cage full of hummingbirds. She yelped in surprise as she noticed the agents.
“Kneemoi!” the Informant yelled. “You’re under arrest for heisting those hummingbirds!”
Kneemoi chose to retreat. She flew higher, tossing the cage through an open window, and then entering through the window herself.
“She… She just went into Mrs. Pumpkinclanger’s apartment!” said the Messenger, in disbelief.
“Ooooh…” all four of them flinched in unison.
“Wait a sec,” said the Informant. “Who are we feeling sorry for-Mrs. Pumpkinclanger, or Kneemoi?”
They exchanged glances, shrugging in reply.
“Well, at any rate, we can have Kneemoi on charges of theft, resisting arrest, and breaking and entering,” mused the Inspector.
“Speaking of which, me may have to resort to that to apprehend Kneemoi,” said the Techie. “I need to have a word with her after she sabotaged my pet project!”
“Then let’s go apprehend her!” said the Informant, about to charge into the building where the crook had fled.
“We’ll have to be careful,” said the Messenger. “There’re some contractors working on the roof; we can’t let them see us go in.”
“He’s right,” agreed the Inspector, the midsummer sun hindering his view of the rooftop. “And judging from the sounds up there, they’d have a perfect view of the front entrance.”
“But there’s no back way in this alley!” exclaimed the Informant. “How do you expect us to go in-through the window? You’d need to find someone who could fit…” He trailed off, realizing that his colleagues were all looking at him.
“What a great idea,” the Messenger grinned. “And wouldn’t fate have it that you’re just the right size for that window?”
“Uh…” the young detective glanced at the window, swallowing hard as he tried to eyeball the height. “You know, I just remembered that I have an important phone call to make--”
He tried to scuttle away, but found himself seized by three pairs of hands.
“Come on, Infy; you’re the only one who can climb up there,” said the Messenger. “And you won’t be alone; we’ll try to slip in nonchalantly through the front door, and you can let us in.”
“But how am I supposed to reach that…?” the Informant asked, perplexed.
****************************
He soon received his answer; one by one, the agents stood on each others’ shoulders in the alley, right in front of the apartment: the Inspector supporting Messenger, who was supporting the Techie, who was supporting the Informant, who was now eye level with Mrs. Pumpkinclanger’s flowerbox. The scent of the flowers wafted into his nostrils as his fingers gripped the wooden windowledge.
“Oh, this isn’t conspicuous at all…” the youth muttered, sarcastically.
“Can you see anything!?” the Messenger called from below.
“Not really…” he replied, opening the window. “Just some furniture, the TV, the lamp…” He let out a cry as something mad and furry crossed his line of vision.
“What is it!?” asked the Techie.
“Cat!” the Informant exclaimed, staring down Mrs. Pumpkinclanger’s pet Siamese cat. He frowned, trying to wave her away. The cat merely hissed at him, lashing her tail in vexation.
“Never mind the cat; is anyone else home?” asked the Inspector, keen on getting the weight off of his shoulders.
“Not as far as I can tell…”
“Then get in there, already!” he quipped.
Ignoring the cat’s protests, the Informant pulled himself through the window. She proceeded to attack his trenchcoat with her claws.
“Hey!” he quietly snapped, pulling the fabric out of the cat’s reach. “I paid for this out of my own salary!”
But his main concern was finding Kneemoi. After seeing that his colleagues had managed to get their feet back on the ground and were approaching the front entrance, he crossed through the front door to quietly let them in. Somewhere in a different room, Mrs. Pumpkinclanger was mumbling in her sleep.
“I don’t know where Kneemoi is,” he whispered, as they entered. “Mrs. P is asleep, so we’ll have to be quiet…” He trailed off as the Messenger’s nose twitched. “What’s with you?”
“I… I think my allergies are getting to me…” he replied, stifling a sneeze.
“What allergies?” asked the Techie.
The Messenger stared pointedly at the cat, and the Informant slapped his forehead in exasperation.
“Just… don’t sneeze,” he said at last.
“Easier said than done,” the Messenger replied, his eyes already starting to turn red from the amount of cat hair in the air and on the furniture.
“Listen; there’s that humming again,” said the Inspector, as the Messenger stifled another sneeze.
“It’s coming from the kitchen,” said the Techie.
“Right…” said the Informant, his badge at the ready. “Let’s go!”
The four of them entered the room.
“Kneemoi, you’re under arrest for the theft of the hummingbirds, breaking and entering--”
Kneemoi gave them a puzzled expression.
“Breaking and entering? But what are you doing now?”
“We’re agents; we’re entitled,” said the Messenger, desperately trying to shoo the cat away from him.
“…And you’re also under arrest for tampering with and sabotaging the ACME Crimenet Computer!” added the Techie, upset at the prospect of the long process of repairing it.
“The computer?” asked the alien, confused. “But I didn’t go anywhere near it! I did let a computer repairman in to your building, though. I guess he made a mistake.”
“We don’t have a computer repair service, we have him,” said the Informant, indicating the bewildered Techie.
“I know!” said Kneemoi. “I’ll go find him!”
“Oh, no you don’t!” said the Inspector, blocking the kitchen door. “Hand over those hummingbirds!”
The cat finally noticed the alien and the hummingbirds in her grasp. With an angry meow, she lunged at them both, her tail slapping the Messenger in the face. He could not hold back the sneeze this time as madness began to break loose.
“What is going on out there!?” an annoyed voice asked from one of the rooms.
“Uh-oh...” said the Informant. “If she sees us in here, we’ll never hear the end of it.”
“Okay, then!” said Kneemoi, cheerfully ignoring the scratch that the cat had given her. “Goodbye!”
Grabbing the cage, she flew out the window.
“Hey!” exclaimed the Informant. Struggling not to trip over the cat, the four agents escaped into the corridor, barreling up the stair onto the roof where Kneemoi had just arrived, exhausted from the weight of the cage. A contractor was working hard upon the roof, apparently oblivious to the agents and the alien.
“You… you Earthlings don’t give up…” she observed.
“Hopefully, you will?” asked the Informant, a bit tired of the Chase by this time.
Kneemoi sighed; she was definitely considering it.
There was a sudden meowing and a fresh wave of sneezes from the Messenger as the Siamese cat came up to join them. With a frown, the Messenger attempted once again to shoo the cat away. He stepped on a portion of the roof that was covered with a tarp, and, without warning, he fell through it with a cry, his fingertips just managing to hang on to the edge of the hole.
The Informant cried out at the sight of his friend falling through the roof.
“Don’t take another step!” the contractor ordered. “I’ve covered the holes in the roof with tarp; you’ll let the rain in!”
“But what about getting him out!?” the young detective protested, gesturing to his friend.
The Inspector and the Techie both stepped forward to help the Messenger out of the hole when more areas of the tarp gave way beneath them. They, too, managed to grab on to the edges of the holes, holding on for dear life.
“What are you doing!?” cried the Informant.
“You!” exclaimed Kneemoi. “You were the one who pretended to be the computer repairman!”
“You sabotaged my computer!?” the Techie yelped, trying not to look down.
“You could’ve seriously hurt him! And you’re giving contractors and repairmen bad names!” the Informant fumed, having gone undercover as a contractor once before.
“You think I’m concerned about that?” the man snarled at him. “I’m with V.I.L.E.! Kneemoi, get out of here!”
Kneemoi hesitated. Clearly, she did not think too much of this underhanded attempt of an escape. Too tired to argue, though, she decided to flee, hauling the heavy cage behind her.
“I hope you realize that we can take you in on the charges of allowing a criminal to escape!” the Informant snarled, as the contractor brandished a wrench at him.
“It’s not over yet!” said the Techie. He grabbed something from his pocket and threw it at the Informant, who caught it. “It’s a tracking device; I managed to place a tracking chip on the hummingbirds’ cage! I don’t know how long it’ll last, but you can at least track Kneemoi down until it falls!”
“And speaking of falling,” sneered the contractor. “Hand over that tracking device, or your friends will be falling.”
“Don’t listen to him!” said the Inspector, trying, and failing, to pull himself out of the hole. “You need to find out where Kneemoi is!”
“So you’re the Dying Informant?” the cruel man sneered. He advanced forward, causing the Informant to take a few step backwards to distance himself from the creep. “I don’t think that your friends will be able to hang on much longer. You do want to save them, don’t you? Or do you simply not care?”
“Don’t let him get to you, Infy!” yelled the Messenger, still feeling the effects of the cat hair. “You know what you have to do; we’re expendable!”
“To ACME, maybe!” the Informant replied. “But you guys are my best friends!”
“Your duty to ACME comes first!” the Inspector reminded him. “You took an oath to serve ACME, remember?”
“Yeah, but…” He didn’t have to be reminded of how his line of work would force him to choose between success on a mission versus the well-being of his friends. The last time it happened, he had chosen to stand by his friends, resulting in a failed mission. He couldn’t let it happen again, nor could he let his friends fall. He would have to do what he knew best: stall for time until his friends could find a way up.
He continued to slowly retreat backwards.
“Infy!” the Messenger cried. “Infy, look out! You’re running out of roof!”
His warning came too late; the Informant tried desperately to regain his balance as he stood on a small trellis at the very edge of the roof. But it was a substandard piece of wood that the contractor had used, and with a sickening crack, the trellis splintered to pieces just as the Messenger had pulled himself out of the hole.
“NO!” he yelled, as his younger colleague fell. Furious, the Messenger placed the cuffs on the contractor, who hadn’t even noticed that he had escaped from the hole; the Informant had successfully created the diversion required… but at what cost!?
The Messenger finally dared to look, and was astounded to see his best friend alive and well, hanging on to Mrs. Pumpkinclanger’s flowerbox for dear life.
“Infy, hang on!” said the Messenger.
“That’s what I’m doing!” he cried, as the flowerbox threatened to break.
**********************************
What transpired next was nothing short of a fiasco. The Messenger hurriedly pulled the Techie and the Inspector from the hole while the Informant tracked Kneemoi to Lake Geneva. He was able to relay this info to the Recruiting Officer before he lost his grip upon the flowerbox. Grabbing onto a shutter as he fell, his fall was slowed to the extent that he wasn’t too worse for the wear upon landing, save for a couple sprained ankles.
“You know, I think the people who work at the ACME infirmary are getting really tired of seeing my face,” he said, light-heartedly as he had a pair of splints attached to his ankles.
The Messenger, who was being treated for his allergies, wasn’t amused.
“I’m sorry, Infy,” he said, bitterly. “I didn’t make it down in time to help you. Dumb cat had my head too clouded…”
“It’s alright,” the young detective grinned. “We both made it through, didn’t we?”
The Messenger sneezed again.
“Barely…”
“Well,” sighed the Techie, as he and the Inspector entered the infirmary. “There is some good news in all of this. The V.I.L.E. contractor is behind bars, and I think I figured out what he did to the Crimenet Computer. I should have it fixed after an all-nighter.”
“Don’t lose too much sleep over it,” advised the Inspector. “And I also have news that the some of the new recruits are closing in on Kneemoi. We’ll get those hummingbirds back.”
The Informant nodded. His previous experiences had told him not to be too disheartened with a less-than-successful mission. And this one hadn’t ended so badly. They had captured one V.I.L.E. agent, and were closing in on another. His friends were alright, and so was he, save for a couple of sprained ankles.
He sighed, grabbing the mystery thriller on his bedside table. Maybe now he’d actually get a chance to finish the book.
The phone was ringing, and the Messenger casually answered it. His expression grew concerned.
“What happened?” asked the Informant. “Did Kneemoi get away?”
“No, worse-Mrs. Pumpkinclanger wants to know why her kitchen is wrecked, why her cat in annoyed, and why her flowerbox is ruined.”
The Informant flinched, slamming his book shut. It was still going to be a long day…