Go, Slow Down, Stop
Fandom: SS501, Kara
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance, Drama, Slice of Life
Pairing: Jungmin/Gyuri
Word Count: 2081
Summary: Don’t fall in love.
Author's Note: I’ve wanted to write Jungmin/Gyuri for a while now, and I might be writing this pairing again in the future.
She hated him, hated him so much that she felt like she could scream it to the entire world, but she also loved him, loved him so much that she felt like her heart was breaking into unfixable pieces. She thought of why she loved him, but nothing came to mind, so instead she wondered why she hated him, and she, unsurprisingly, found herself listing a few reasons instantly. He was loud, arrogant, and flamboyant, and that was why her pride could not allow herself to fall in love with such a person, especially one that could see her as nothing more than a younger sister.
“You’re doing it wrong.”
“Am not.” Gyuri looked up from her position on the ground, her chocolate brown eyes greeted his own with an even stare. She returned her gaze back to her scraped knees, the sight of the blood trickling down her skin seemed to have not registered in her mind that she was injured. Her look then traveled over to the roller skates she had removed from her feet and thrown away as far as she could.
“Are too.”
She hated how without even looking, she could see his knowing smile.
“Let oppa help you.”
Gyuri swatted his hand away, waiting expectantly for him to make some sort of snide remarks, and when she heard none, she looked at his face, and she hated him even more.
“I forgot, you’re too proud, I’m sorry.” He smiled.
Her list seemed to only grow longer as she found herself mentally adding another reason why she hated him: He was always too nice to her, even when she was nasty to him.
“Aren’t you a little too conceited?”
Gyuri’s head whirled around to face her date. “I am not. Just because I’m comfortable with myself, that does not mean I am conceited.”
“Whatever. Let’s stop seeing each other.”
“You’re breaking up with me here, in a movie theatre?” Gyuri waited, watching as the other man shifted nervously in his spot, his eyes were avoiding her reproachful stare. Her eyes narrowed as she gripped her purse until she could feel her nails digging into the strap. “Fine, go, I don’t need you.”
“You know, I could take you home right now, and-”
“Just leave me alone.”
“Jungmin oppa?”
“What’s up?”
“Please pick me up…”
“Alright, where?”
She couldn’t cry. Rather, Gyuri told herself she should not cry.
There were too many people, she insisted. However, that reason alone did not stop the annoying tears from falling. Frustrated at everything that had happened and angry at herself for losing control, the only thing Gyuri could do was crouched down behind a column in the theater, and buried her tear-stained face in her hands. When the tears came to a halt, she gently wiped her eyes, and with a shaking hand, she pulled out a small notepad from her purse.
On top of a page, she had written “Reasons to Hate Park Jungmin” and had underlined it crudely three times for emphasis. She navigated her pen down the page until she found a blank line. Slowly, she started to write.
27. Oppa never asks what’s wrong (but why do I like that?)
Through the window, Gyuri could see a blur of light streams passing by, and she wished she could stay in this state, letting her mind stay numbed like this for just a little bit longer. But nothing ever happened the way she wanted, and she had learned a long time ago to accept things with grace no matter how much they anger and sadden her. As the car slowed down, stopping in front of a stop light, she could hear Jungmin speaking to her.
“May I say something?”
She made some sort of unclear noise, and he continued.
“My Gyuri is too good for him.”
She said nothing as the car resumed its earlier movement.
28. Oppa is a liar (right?)
With a pretty face, Gyuri had always worked twice as hard as others just to be taken seriously, so after a while, it seemed to have become a habit to distrust when people complimented her. Were they being sincere or were they simply scorning her? She had forgotten a long time ago the difference between the two.
She heard a clap, and she looked behind her to see a familiar face grinning widely. “Good job, Gyuri! Should oppa take you out to celebrate?”
Gyuri gave an uncouth snort, but she still accepted the hand offered to her.
“Oppa…” Gyuri was lying on Jungmin’s bed, her vision of the other man was upside-down. “Why are you so nice to me?”
Swiveling his chair around, Jungmin turned his attention away from the research paper he was writing, and he tapped his pencil against his chin in a thoughtful manner. “You don’t like that? Should I bully you from now on?”
“No!” She flipped herself over so she was laying on her stomach now. Her glare was directed at him, but his bright smile seemed to have dissipated it. “You know what I mean.”
He dropped the pencil, and his smile seemed to look duller now. “You and I…we are more alike than you think.”
She said nothing more as she watched him returned to writing his paper.
“What do you dream of, Gyuri?”
“Nothing, absolutely nothing.”
“Really?”
“…No…”
Jungmin could read her like an open book, but she herself could not get pass his puzzling smile that could either be sincere or a perfect façade. She liked to think it was the latter, but her stomach would always form an uncomfortable twist that made her wondered why it was so hard to separate the truth and lie.
It’s sincere, she decided, noticing the knot had disappeared.
“I like you,” he had told her offhandedly one evening over a shared plate of pasta. Gyuri turned her gaze away from the window to look at his face. She was surprised to see his usual smiling, playful expression gone. She avoided his piercing stare, choosing to focus on the plate of pasta in front of her instead.
“Quit playing around with me, oppa.”
“I’m not.”
Suddenly, she found it hard to swallow her food. Jungmin, on the other hand, found his appetite had grown bigger as he finished the remaining pasta alone.
31. Oppa refuses to leave a person alone, even after saying that.
“Let's fall in love.” Jungmin's words tickled Gyuri's lips, and left no room for objection. He captured her lips with his own, and sent her mind on a whirlwind of bewildered thoughts: Slow down, this is too fast, we're going to crash. Don't fall in love, stop this now before it's too late.
As he tightened his hold around her small waist, all thoughts crumbled until the only words she remembered were crash, love, and stop.
She stared at her phone, wondering if she should call Jungmin or wait for him to call her. Would she seem too clingy if she called him first? If she waited for him, would that make her seem too proud? Perhaps a text would be better-no, wait, would that make her seem too inconsiderate?
“This is stupid,” Gyuri murmured to herself. She shifted her position on her bed, choosing to lie on her stomach as she went through her contact list. As she moved down the lengthy list of names, she stopped scrolling when she reached Jungmin’s name. Gyuri watched as her finger hovered shakily over the dial key. So enamored with the sight of the name before her, she dropped her phone in surprised when it started to vibrate and a new notification popped up, revealing a message from Jungmin: You win, Oppa gives up now~ ^-^ ♥
“J-Jerk, just once, why can’t you not be so nice…”
Gyuri buried her face in her pillow, wondering why it was so hard for her to make the first move. Brushing her hair away from her face, she started to send her reply.
Oppa, buy me something yummy as a prize~ ^_~
He was always happy, always helpful, always loving, and all of that scared her. Inside, she knew why they scared her, but when she tried to voice it aloud, everything became so incoherent and so chaotic that she didn’t know what else to do but cry helplessly as he looked on.
“S-stop being so-hic-nice to me, no, to everyone…it’s-hic-annoying, it’s…”
“I know, I know, so stop crying now.”
She cried harder when she noticed how warm his lips felt against her forehead.
32. I need control. I need to be in control to feel like my feet are firmly on the ground. Oppa takes all of that away from me.
“Do I really bother you that much?”
“O-oppa, h-how-”
“You really shouldn’t leave things lying around like that.” Jungmin continued to flip through Gyuri’s notepad impassively. Occasionally, his lips would twitch a little, but other than that, he made no clear expression or sign for Gyuri to read.
Jungmin closed the notepad, and sighed. He looked straight into Gyuri’s eyes, and when she tried to avoid his look, he grasped her chin, and forced her to look at him. “What are you afraid of, Gyuri?”
She remained silent, making no attempt to show him that she was even considering his question. When the silence started to get on Jungmin’s nerve, he released his hold on her, and shoved the notepad into her hands. He whispered something into her ear, and then he left, paying no heed to the sight of the troubled girl falling to her knees.
33. He loves me...he loves me…he loves me. Why would he love someone like me?
34. So mean, so cruel, even when he’s gone, I have no control.
35. Idiot, jerk, bastard, why do you only choose to be obedient to me?
36. He’s still toying with me. He’s
Gyuri dropped her pen, and stared at the sentence she had abruptly stopped writing.
“I miss him.”
Her free hand scrambled for her cell phone.
“I love him.”
As she drove on, she could see the traffic light changed to yellow and then to red. She slowed to a halt, muttering a curse under her breath. A sigh escaped her lips, and as she waited, her mind juggled all of the things she wanted to say, how she wanted to say them, and how he would respond. The more she thought about the situation, the more scared she grew.
Turn back, her brain was telling her. Nothing good will happen, don’t fall in love, just turn back now.
She started to grasp the steering wheel again, and just when she started to listen to her instinct, another thought came to her: How would I know it won’t be good? Nothing bad will happen, he’s different; he won’t let something bad happen.
Her brain was telling her she was being irrational, risky, and dangerous. Her heart was telling her to be irrational, take the risk, and don’t worry about the danger. She had listened to her brain numerous times before, and when she thought of all the times she had kept the people she loved at arm’s length, she remembered the heartaches she suffered and the confusion and pain she had inflicted. She had control, but she was still unhappy.
Perhaps listening to her heart just this once would be fine.
When she saw the light changed to green, she stepped on the pedal immediately.
He was there, sitting on a park bench, waiting for her. When Jungmin heard the sound of high heels clicking on the hard ground, he looked in Gyuri’s direction, and then he slowly stood up. He had a frown on his face, but that did not stop Gyuri.
When he stood up, the only thing she could think to do was run towards him. She threw her arms around his neck, not caring that they were both tumbling to the ground with her on top of him. Jungmin slowly straightened up, one hand was on the ground to steady both of their weight, and the other hand was positioned lightly on Gyuri’s waist.
“What happened to being in control and not falling in love?” His voice was teasing and his smile was cheeky, but none of that bothered Gyuri as much as it would have before.
“I lost, oppa, I lost.” She smiled.
“Then you should buy me something yummy as a prize.”
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance, Drama, Slice of Life
Pairing: Jungmin/Gyuri
Word Count: 2081
Summary: Don’t fall in love.
Author's Note: I’ve wanted to write Jungmin/Gyuri for a while now, and I might be writing this pairing again in the future.
She hated him, hated him so much that she felt like she could scream it to the entire world, but she also loved him, loved him so much that she felt like her heart was breaking into unfixable pieces. She thought of why she loved him, but nothing came to mind, so instead she wondered why she hated him, and she, unsurprisingly, found herself listing a few reasons instantly. He was loud, arrogant, and flamboyant, and that was why her pride could not allow herself to fall in love with such a person, especially one that could see her as nothing more than a younger sister.
“You’re doing it wrong.”
“Am not.” Gyuri looked up from her position on the ground, her chocolate brown eyes greeted his own with an even stare. She returned her gaze back to her scraped knees, the sight of the blood trickling down her skin seemed to have not registered in her mind that she was injured. Her look then traveled over to the roller skates she had removed from her feet and thrown away as far as she could.
“Are too.”
She hated how without even looking, she could see his knowing smile.
“Let oppa help you.”
Gyuri swatted his hand away, waiting expectantly for him to make some sort of snide remarks, and when she heard none, she looked at his face, and she hated him even more.
“I forgot, you’re too proud, I’m sorry.” He smiled.
Her list seemed to only grow longer as she found herself mentally adding another reason why she hated him: He was always too nice to her, even when she was nasty to him.
“Aren’t you a little too conceited?”
Gyuri’s head whirled around to face her date. “I am not. Just because I’m comfortable with myself, that does not mean I am conceited.”
“Whatever. Let’s stop seeing each other.”
“You’re breaking up with me here, in a movie theatre?” Gyuri waited, watching as the other man shifted nervously in his spot, his eyes were avoiding her reproachful stare. Her eyes narrowed as she gripped her purse until she could feel her nails digging into the strap. “Fine, go, I don’t need you.”
“You know, I could take you home right now, and-”
“Just leave me alone.”
“Jungmin oppa?”
“What’s up?”
“Please pick me up…”
“Alright, where?”
She couldn’t cry. Rather, Gyuri told herself she should not cry.
There were too many people, she insisted. However, that reason alone did not stop the annoying tears from falling. Frustrated at everything that had happened and angry at herself for losing control, the only thing Gyuri could do was crouched down behind a column in the theater, and buried her tear-stained face in her hands. When the tears came to a halt, she gently wiped her eyes, and with a shaking hand, she pulled out a small notepad from her purse.
On top of a page, she had written “Reasons to Hate Park Jungmin” and had underlined it crudely three times for emphasis. She navigated her pen down the page until she found a blank line. Slowly, she started to write.
27. Oppa never asks what’s wrong (but why do I like that?)
Through the window, Gyuri could see a blur of light streams passing by, and she wished she could stay in this state, letting her mind stay numbed like this for just a little bit longer. But nothing ever happened the way she wanted, and she had learned a long time ago to accept things with grace no matter how much they anger and sadden her. As the car slowed down, stopping in front of a stop light, she could hear Jungmin speaking to her.
“May I say something?”
She made some sort of unclear noise, and he continued.
“My Gyuri is too good for him.”
She said nothing as the car resumed its earlier movement.
28. Oppa is a liar (right?)
With a pretty face, Gyuri had always worked twice as hard as others just to be taken seriously, so after a while, it seemed to have become a habit to distrust when people complimented her. Were they being sincere or were they simply scorning her? She had forgotten a long time ago the difference between the two.
She heard a clap, and she looked behind her to see a familiar face grinning widely. “Good job, Gyuri! Should oppa take you out to celebrate?”
Gyuri gave an uncouth snort, but she still accepted the hand offered to her.
“Oppa…” Gyuri was lying on Jungmin’s bed, her vision of the other man was upside-down. “Why are you so nice to me?”
Swiveling his chair around, Jungmin turned his attention away from the research paper he was writing, and he tapped his pencil against his chin in a thoughtful manner. “You don’t like that? Should I bully you from now on?”
“No!” She flipped herself over so she was laying on her stomach now. Her glare was directed at him, but his bright smile seemed to have dissipated it. “You know what I mean.”
He dropped the pencil, and his smile seemed to look duller now. “You and I…we are more alike than you think.”
She said nothing more as she watched him returned to writing his paper.
“What do you dream of, Gyuri?”
“Nothing, absolutely nothing.”
“Really?”
“…No…”
Jungmin could read her like an open book, but she herself could not get pass his puzzling smile that could either be sincere or a perfect façade. She liked to think it was the latter, but her stomach would always form an uncomfortable twist that made her wondered why it was so hard to separate the truth and lie.
It’s sincere, she decided, noticing the knot had disappeared.
“I like you,” he had told her offhandedly one evening over a shared plate of pasta. Gyuri turned her gaze away from the window to look at his face. She was surprised to see his usual smiling, playful expression gone. She avoided his piercing stare, choosing to focus on the plate of pasta in front of her instead.
“Quit playing around with me, oppa.”
“I’m not.”
Suddenly, she found it hard to swallow her food. Jungmin, on the other hand, found his appetite had grown bigger as he finished the remaining pasta alone.
31. Oppa refuses to leave a person alone, even after saying that.
“Let's fall in love.” Jungmin's words tickled Gyuri's lips, and left no room for objection. He captured her lips with his own, and sent her mind on a whirlwind of bewildered thoughts: Slow down, this is too fast, we're going to crash. Don't fall in love, stop this now before it's too late.
As he tightened his hold around her small waist, all thoughts crumbled until the only words she remembered were crash, love, and stop.
She stared at her phone, wondering if she should call Jungmin or wait for him to call her. Would she seem too clingy if she called him first? If she waited for him, would that make her seem too proud? Perhaps a text would be better-no, wait, would that make her seem too inconsiderate?
“This is stupid,” Gyuri murmured to herself. She shifted her position on her bed, choosing to lie on her stomach as she went through her contact list. As she moved down the lengthy list of names, she stopped scrolling when she reached Jungmin’s name. Gyuri watched as her finger hovered shakily over the dial key. So enamored with the sight of the name before her, she dropped her phone in surprised when it started to vibrate and a new notification popped up, revealing a message from Jungmin: You win, Oppa gives up now~ ^-^ ♥
“J-Jerk, just once, why can’t you not be so nice…”
Gyuri buried her face in her pillow, wondering why it was so hard for her to make the first move. Brushing her hair away from her face, she started to send her reply.
Oppa, buy me something yummy as a prize~ ^_~
He was always happy, always helpful, always loving, and all of that scared her. Inside, she knew why they scared her, but when she tried to voice it aloud, everything became so incoherent and so chaotic that she didn’t know what else to do but cry helplessly as he looked on.
“S-stop being so-hic-nice to me, no, to everyone…it’s-hic-annoying, it’s…”
“I know, I know, so stop crying now.”
She cried harder when she noticed how warm his lips felt against her forehead.
32. I need control. I need to be in control to feel like my feet are firmly on the ground. Oppa takes all of that away from me.
“Do I really bother you that much?”
“O-oppa, h-how-”
“You really shouldn’t leave things lying around like that.” Jungmin continued to flip through Gyuri’s notepad impassively. Occasionally, his lips would twitch a little, but other than that, he made no clear expression or sign for Gyuri to read.
Jungmin closed the notepad, and sighed. He looked straight into Gyuri’s eyes, and when she tried to avoid his look, he grasped her chin, and forced her to look at him. “What are you afraid of, Gyuri?”
She remained silent, making no attempt to show him that she was even considering his question. When the silence started to get on Jungmin’s nerve, he released his hold on her, and shoved the notepad into her hands. He whispered something into her ear, and then he left, paying no heed to the sight of the troubled girl falling to her knees.
33. He loves me...he loves me…he loves me. Why would he love someone like me?
34. So mean, so cruel, even when he’s gone, I have no control.
35. Idiot, jerk, bastard, why do you only choose to be obedient to me?
36. He’s still toying with me. He’s
Gyuri dropped her pen, and stared at the sentence she had abruptly stopped writing.
“I miss him.”
Her free hand scrambled for her cell phone.
“I love him.”
As she drove on, she could see the traffic light changed to yellow and then to red. She slowed to a halt, muttering a curse under her breath. A sigh escaped her lips, and as she waited, her mind juggled all of the things she wanted to say, how she wanted to say them, and how he would respond. The more she thought about the situation, the more scared she grew.
Turn back, her brain was telling her. Nothing good will happen, don’t fall in love, just turn back now.
She started to grasp the steering wheel again, and just when she started to listen to her instinct, another thought came to her: How would I know it won’t be good? Nothing bad will happen, he’s different; he won’t let something bad happen.
Her brain was telling her she was being irrational, risky, and dangerous. Her heart was telling her to be irrational, take the risk, and don’t worry about the danger. She had listened to her brain numerous times before, and when she thought of all the times she had kept the people she loved at arm’s length, she remembered the heartaches she suffered and the confusion and pain she had inflicted. She had control, but she was still unhappy.
Perhaps listening to her heart just this once would be fine.
When she saw the light changed to green, she stepped on the pedal immediately.
He was there, sitting on a park bench, waiting for her. When Jungmin heard the sound of high heels clicking on the hard ground, he looked in Gyuri’s direction, and then he slowly stood up. He had a frown on his face, but that did not stop Gyuri.
When he stood up, the only thing she could think to do was run towards him. She threw her arms around his neck, not caring that they were both tumbling to the ground with her on top of him. Jungmin slowly straightened up, one hand was on the ground to steady both of their weight, and the other hand was positioned lightly on Gyuri’s waist.
“What happened to being in control and not falling in love?” His voice was teasing and his smile was cheeky, but none of that bothered Gyuri as much as it would have before.
“I lost, oppa, I lost.” She smiled.
“Then you should buy me something yummy as a prize.”