Regret (Jareth/Sarah, Labyrinth, #38 - If)
Title: Regrets
Author: Sanalith
Pairing: Jareth/ Sarah
Fandom: Labyrinth
Theme: #38, If
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I do not own Labyrinth or any of its characters. I *wish* I owned David Bowie, but alas…only Iman can claim that ^^;;
Notes: Greetings! This is my first post here, so I hope you all enjoy. Feedback is always most appreciated!
I try not to think too much about what happened that day, six years ago, when I wished my brother away to the Goblin King. I learned quite quickly that thinking *hurts,* and generally causes more trouble than it’s worth. I tried telling one of my (very few) close friends about what happened, but before I even got halfway through the tale, she gave me a funny look, asked if I was feeling okay, and beat a hasty retreat. Considering the fact that I didn’t want the entire school thinking I was totally insane, I took the hint and never mentioned it again to anyone.
I went through a period of perhaps six or eight months where I managed to convince myself it was all just a dream, that my overactive imagination had simply taken over and created the whole thing. I had been pretty involved in that book, after all, and it wouldn’t have been a huge stretch for my unconscious mind to fabricate such an elaborate dream one night.
But, despite my outward appearance and my penchant for fantasy, I really am a decently rational girl, and I’ve never considered myself stupid. I might have believed it was a lie for a little while, but somehow I think I knew it would never last.
It happened. I’d been there. And I would never, never forget.
Once I finally came to the conclusion that, no, I wasn’t insane, but yes, I *had* in fact traveled to a fantasy world and met the Goblin King, I was forced to deal with several other unpleasant realities. The most important of these was simply this: I wasn’t happy. I *should* have been happy. I should have been ecstatic! I’d beaten that bastard at his own game. I’d made some good friends, I’d rescued my brother, and (dare I say it?) I think I even managed to grow up a little in the process.
But I wasn’t happy. Not even a little. Because a few years later, I finally realized what I’d turned my back on.
-Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave…-
-Love me…-
He’d loved me. I didn’t understand it at the time, either because I was too young or simply too caught up in playing the part of the innocent heroine. I was supposed to vanquish the bad guy, after all, not succumb to his seductive charms.
I had to rescue my brother. There was really no room for debate on that subject, and I don’t regret doing it. But every now and then, I close my eyes and wonder what would have happened if I had done things just a little differently. What if I had stopped to listen, really listen, to what he was saying to me? Instead of just turning my back on him and moving on with my life, what if I had tried to include him in it? You know, if I’d said the words while giving him a nudge, nudge, wink, wink kind of face - You “let” me win and I’ll meet you backstage after the final curtain call?
Hell, what if I’d just tried to contact him those first few months when I was still in touch with my friends?
But I never did. At first I was too afraid to even think his name, much less say it aloud. Calling him was unthinkable. And later, once I realized what I’d given up, it seemed a little late for apologies.
I was a selfish little girl and I made a stupid wish. I saved my brother, but at what cost?
-You have no power over me…-
What a joke. What a lie.
I couldn’t call him. I was still too afraid and too steeped in guilt. But every night, I crawled into bed and slid my hand under my pillow, and withdrew a very battered and creased red book with gold lettering. Pressing a finger to my lips, I gently kissed it, then placed it on the very center of the cover.
“I’m sorry, Jareth,” I whispered. “I did love you.”
I never saw him, but every night, when I placed the book back under my pillow, I could feel his presence, watching over me as I drifted off to sleep.
-Fin-
Author: Sanalith
Pairing: Jareth/ Sarah
Fandom: Labyrinth
Theme: #38, If
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I do not own Labyrinth or any of its characters. I *wish* I owned David Bowie, but alas…only Iman can claim that ^^;;
Notes: Greetings! This is my first post here, so I hope you all enjoy. Feedback is always most appreciated!
I try not to think too much about what happened that day, six years ago, when I wished my brother away to the Goblin King. I learned quite quickly that thinking *hurts,* and generally causes more trouble than it’s worth. I tried telling one of my (very few) close friends about what happened, but before I even got halfway through the tale, she gave me a funny look, asked if I was feeling okay, and beat a hasty retreat. Considering the fact that I didn’t want the entire school thinking I was totally insane, I took the hint and never mentioned it again to anyone.
I went through a period of perhaps six or eight months where I managed to convince myself it was all just a dream, that my overactive imagination had simply taken over and created the whole thing. I had been pretty involved in that book, after all, and it wouldn’t have been a huge stretch for my unconscious mind to fabricate such an elaborate dream one night.
But, despite my outward appearance and my penchant for fantasy, I really am a decently rational girl, and I’ve never considered myself stupid. I might have believed it was a lie for a little while, but somehow I think I knew it would never last.
It happened. I’d been there. And I would never, never forget.
Once I finally came to the conclusion that, no, I wasn’t insane, but yes, I *had* in fact traveled to a fantasy world and met the Goblin King, I was forced to deal with several other unpleasant realities. The most important of these was simply this: I wasn’t happy. I *should* have been happy. I should have been ecstatic! I’d beaten that bastard at his own game. I’d made some good friends, I’d rescued my brother, and (dare I say it?) I think I even managed to grow up a little in the process.
But I wasn’t happy. Not even a little. Because a few years later, I finally realized what I’d turned my back on.
-Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave…-
-Love me…-
He’d loved me. I didn’t understand it at the time, either because I was too young or simply too caught up in playing the part of the innocent heroine. I was supposed to vanquish the bad guy, after all, not succumb to his seductive charms.
I had to rescue my brother. There was really no room for debate on that subject, and I don’t regret doing it. But every now and then, I close my eyes and wonder what would have happened if I had done things just a little differently. What if I had stopped to listen, really listen, to what he was saying to me? Instead of just turning my back on him and moving on with my life, what if I had tried to include him in it? You know, if I’d said the words while giving him a nudge, nudge, wink, wink kind of face - You “let” me win and I’ll meet you backstage after the final curtain call?
Hell, what if I’d just tried to contact him those first few months when I was still in touch with my friends?
But I never did. At first I was too afraid to even think his name, much less say it aloud. Calling him was unthinkable. And later, once I realized what I’d given up, it seemed a little late for apologies.
I was a selfish little girl and I made a stupid wish. I saved my brother, but at what cost?
-You have no power over me…-
What a joke. What a lie.
I couldn’t call him. I was still too afraid and too steeped in guilt. But every night, I crawled into bed and slid my hand under my pillow, and withdrew a very battered and creased red book with gold lettering. Pressing a finger to my lips, I gently kissed it, then placed it on the very center of the cover.
“I’m sorry, Jareth,” I whispered. “I did love you.”
I never saw him, but every night, when I placed the book back under my pillow, I could feel his presence, watching over me as I drifted off to sleep.
-Fin-